Anonymous wrote:I just realized that one of the kids (he's one of three that is still missing) was Devonte Hart who "drew national attention after he was photographed in tears, hugging a white police officer during a 2014 protest in Portland over the deadly police shooting of a black man in Ferguson, Missouri. Devonte was holding a “Free Hugs” sign."

When I read that, I saw his face immediately in my mind. So sad!!

Yes, I’m pretty sure I saw a different thread about this family right after the accident focused on that. But I can’t find it now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kids all look small for their age as well. They are short for being 14-19 mostly (I think one girl was 12).

No one was 19 in that photo. It was taken in 2014. Yes, they were still small, but tweens/teenagers change a lot in 4 years. Some would have been under 10 in that photo.

I can't find any pics where they look like a family of teens. I found one from 2016 and they didn't look much older than the pic with the blue shirts.

What is it with people who abuse their kids and dressing them all in matching clothes? Is it to take away their individuality?

Also similar to Turpins it seems these kids had no social media presence and were not online. Yet parents were.

Yes. I think you hit the nail on the head. Sickening.

Frankly, I suspect any parent who dresses their kids in matching outfits and/or exerts an unusual amount of control/attention over what their kids wear is a control freak of sorts. On a far lesser scale, I've seen examples of parents like this and watched as they had a difficult time acknowledging/accepting that their children are their own individuals. I think this behavior is generally a precursor to conflict when the child becomes an adult.

Now, I'm not talking about parents who want their kids to wear clean and presentable clothes or have some reasonable rules about appropriate clothing or want their kids to look nice for special events. I'm talking about parents who literally invest a lot of attention in picking out what their kids wear or insist their kids wear matching clothing.

My 3 boys wear matching shirts a lot... because they like to match. My oldest (8) is typically the initiator. They like wearing matching pj’s as well. I really hope people don’t view this as a negative and that we’re taking away their individuality .

Fine for 8 and under.

But will they still be wearing matching tee shirts when they are tween/teen?

No, very likely this phase will pass soon. For now, I think it’s pretty cute that they’re all so close and like to match. They were SO excited to get 2 matching shirts in their baskets yesterday that they had to immediately put one on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was searching for days on this topic in the dcum forum. Was wondering what took so long to start one.

I can't believe those kids were not removed after the one mom plead guilty to child abuse.

It would not surprise me if these moms had mental health issues and were on antipsychotics.

I think this one creates dissonance for this board. This was a left leaning family, lesbians, mixed race, adoptive parents. Doesn't fit the narrative of who many people want to see as child abusers.

It was a holiday weekend and spring break. If you were paying attention, you would have noticed that most of DCUM was slower than usual. Good grief.

There has been very little from their famillies. It seems everyone speaking out saying how amazing they were is from their protest / festival 'family'.

They moved a number of times and little mention of actual family on social media. Also it seemed from a post by Jennifer Hart that they had kind of withdrawn from everyone for a significant period of time.

I watched a few home videos - their house looks immaculate and not lived in. No evidence of any kids, let alone 6 kids. In one video four kids are singing a song as a gift to a man. They never look at the person with the camera and don't interact with that person at all. They sing and dance about but it is all a little odd. In another one, Devonte is dancing, dressed only in his underwear. He must be 10 or 11 ish in the video - too old to me to be posted on social media for everyone to see him in his underwear.

I just realized that one of the kids (he's one of three that is still missing) was Devonte Hart who "drew national attention after he was photographed in tears, hugging a white police officer during a 2014 protest in Portland over the deadly police shooting of a black man in Ferguson, Missouri. Devonte was holding a “Free Hugs” sign."

When I read that, I saw his face immediately in my mind. So sad!!

Anonymous wrote:It's sad that this will further the stigma with these sorts of adoptions. Wasn't there that foreign adoption a few years ago with the US couple who abused the kid and now that country shut down all adoptions? I want to say it was either Russia or an African country.

As another poster said, this case is worse because it feeds the people who are anti-LGBT parents, anti bi-racial adoptions, etc.

No differently than when horrors done by a Christian family feeds anti-Christian sentiments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parts of my childhood my mom was in a really bad place mentally. I was really afraid she would do this to me. I think people don't realize that in these situations you're often the frog in the pot slowly brought to a boil. As things slowly get worse, weirder, scarier, you aren't living in the normal world where you can easily recognize that behavior isn't normal. For my dad and other family members, they knew my mom was acting crazy, but they couldn't admit how bad it had gotten.

Would your dad have ignored the authorities beating on his door in order to protect your abusive mother? Would he have gone to court and lied about abuse in order to cover up your mom's abuse?
Would he have presented a picture perfect happy family to the world in matchy matchy tee shirts knowing full well that you were being neglected and beaten at home? Would he have attended political rallies and demonstrations while keeping silent about your abuse at home?

Your dad was probably in survival mode as well as denial and he very likely did not have access to friends in "the system" like this woman appeared to have access to.

I'm sorry that you went through all of that.

Multiple posts have mentioned the matching t-shirts. When you are in charge of a lot of kids in a public place, it's easier to keep track of everyone if you're all wearing the same shirts. Schools do this all the time. Please don't start placing stereotypes on large families if you see matching shirts.

They were at a Bernie rally wearing Bernie shirts, which doesn't feel especially off to me. Or were there other matching outfits?

Yes many. All black tops with pastel pants, all flannel shirts, all Goonies t shirts, all Dr Seuss Thing 1/2 shirts, all jean jackets with t-shirts. In pretty much every family picture, they are all matching.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parts of my childhood my mom was in a really bad place mentally. I was really afraid she would do this to me. I think people don't realize that in these situations you're often the frog in the pot slowly brought to a boil. As things slowly get worse, weirder, scarier, you aren't living in the normal world where you can easily recognize that behavior isn't normal. For my dad and other family members, they knew my mom was acting crazy, but they couldn't admit how bad it had gotten.

Would your dad have ignored the authorities beating on his door in order to protect your abusive mother? Would he have gone to court and lied about abuse in order to cover up your mom's abuse?
Would he have presented a picture perfect happy family to the world in matchy matchy tee shirts knowing full well that you were being neglected and beaten at home? Would he have attended political rallies and demonstrations while keeping silent about your abuse at home?

Your dad was probably in survival mode as well as denial and he very likely did not have access to friends in "the system" like this woman appeared to have access to.

I'm sorry that you went through all of that.

Multiple posts have mentioned the matching t-shirts. When you are in charge of a lot of kids in a public place, it's easier to keep track of everyone if you're all wearing the same shirts. Schools do this all the time. Please don't start placing stereotypes on large families if you see matching shirts.

These are older kids and teens. If you wnat to put your little kids in matching shirts - great. But your older kids / teens - nope.

It's sad that this will further the stigma with these sorts of adoptions. Wasn't there that foreign adoption a few years ago with the US couple who abused the kid and now that country shut down all adoptions? I want to say it was either Russia or an African country.

As another poster said, this case is worse because it feeds the people who are anti-LGBT parents, anti bi-racial adoptions, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kids all look small for their age as well. They are short for being 14-19 mostly (I think one girl was 12).

No one was 19 in that photo. It was taken in 2014. Yes, they were still small, but tweens/teenagers change a lot in 4 years. Some would have been under 10 in that photo.

I can't find any pics where they look like a family of teens. I found one from 2016 and they didn't look much older than the pic with the blue shirts.

What is it with people who abuse their kids and dressing them all in matching clothes? Is it to take away their individuality?

Also similar to Turpins it seems these kids had no social media presence and were not online. Yet parents were.

Yes. I think you hit the nail on the head. Sickening.

Frankly, I suspect any parent who dresses their kids in matching outfits and/or exerts an unusual amount of control/attention over what their kids wear is a control freak of sorts. On a far lesser scale, I've seen examples of parents like this and watched as they had a difficult time acknowledging/accepting that their children are their own individuals. I think this behavior is generally a precursor to conflict when the child becomes an adult.

Now, I'm not talking about parents who want their kids to wear clean and presentable clothes or have some reasonable rules about appropriate clothing or want their kids to look nice for special events. I'm talking about parents who literally invest a lot of attention in picking out what their kids wear or insist their kids wear matching clothing.

My 3 boys wear matching shirts a lot... because they like to match. My oldest (8) is typically the initiator. They like wearing matching pj’s as well. I really hope people don’t view this as a negative and that we’re taking away their individuality .

Fine for 8 and under.

But will they still be wearing matching tee shirts when they are tween/teen?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kids all look small for their age as well. They are short for being 14-19 mostly (I think one girl was 12).

No one was 19 in that photo. It was taken in 2014. Yes, they were still small, but tweens/teenagers change a lot in 4 years. Some would have been under 10 in that photo.

I can't find any pics where they look like a family of teens. I found one from 2016 and they didn't look much older than the pic with the blue shirts.

What is it with people who abuse their kids and dressing them all in matching clothes? Is it to take away their individuality?

Also similar to Turpins it seems these kids had no social media presence and were not online. Yet parents were.

Yes. I think you hit the nail on the head. Sickening.

Frankly, I suspect any parent who dresses their kids in matching outfits and/or exerts an unusual amount of control/attention over what their kids wear is a control freak of sorts. On a far lesser scale, I've seen examples of parents like this and watched as they had a difficult time acknowledging/accepting that their children are their own individuals. I think this behavior is generally a precursor to conflict when the child becomes an adult.

Now, I'm not talking about parents who want their kids to wear clean and presentable clothes or have some reasonable rules about appropriate clothing or want their kids to look nice for special events. I'm talking about parents who literally invest a lot of attention in picking out what their kids wear or insist their kids wear matching clothing.

My 3 boys wear matching shirts a lot... because they like to match. My oldest (8) is typically the initiator. They like wearing matching pj’s as well. I really hope people don’t view this as a negative and that we’re taking away their individuality .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they certain the missing three kids were in the car when it crashed? Maybe they were able to run away before this happened.

The article doesn't say much about that. Perhaps three kids are still alive.

Or they were killed earlier.

This was a possible justification for authorities obtaining a search warrant of the family home.

Anonymous wrote:Are they certain the missing three kids were in the car when it crashed? Maybe they were able to run away before this happened.

The article doesn't say much about that. Perhaps three kids are still alive.

Or they were killed earlier.

I have 2 kids and have been known to dress them in matching bright orange shirts when we’re going somewhere really crowded. Only when they were toddlers, though. I’d find it really weird to do that to teens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parts of my childhood my mom was in a really bad place mentally. I was really afraid she would do this to me. I think people don't realize that in these situations you're often the frog in the pot slowly brought to a boil. As things slowly get worse, weirder, scarier, you aren't living in the normal world where you can easily recognize that behavior isn't normal. For my dad and other family members, they knew my mom was acting crazy, but they couldn't admit how bad it had gotten.

Would your dad have ignored the authorities beating on his door in order to protect your abusive mother? Would he have gone to court and lied about abuse in order to cover up your mom's abuse?
Would he have presented a picture perfect happy family to the world in matchy matchy tee shirts knowing full well that you were being neglected and beaten at home? Would he have attended political rallies and demonstrations while keeping silent about your abuse at home?

Your dad was probably in survival mode as well as denial and he very likely did not have access to friends in "the system" like this woman appeared to have access to.

I'm sorry that you went through all of that.

Multiple posts have mentioned the matching t-shirts. When you are in charge of a lot of kids in a public place, it's easier to keep track of everyone if you're all wearing the same shirts. Schools do this all the time. Please don't start placing stereotypes on large families if you see matching shirts.

They were at a Bernie rally wearing Bernie shirts, which doesn't feel especially off to me. Or were there other matching outfits?