Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically, men who divorce end up with women identical to or similar to the women they married in the first place. They repeat the same issues over and over because they refuse to do the work to address their own issues or understand why they are drawn to certain women.

Statistically, men who divorce end up with second wives who are on average 8 years younger.

and likely the same or identical in personality to the first wife - which is why most second marriages end in divorce.

No, not in my experience. All my divorced male friends who remarried are with the exact opposite (looks, and personality) from their exes. One of those friends is getting close to his 25th anniversary with wife #2, and one is at his 15th anniversary with wife #2. 100 percent of these friends report relationship #2 is night-and-day better.

Speaking just for myself, it has amazed me how kind my girlfriend is. She is the exact opposite from my ex-wife. My new love never has a tantrum, never gaslights, never does guilt trips, never calls me names, never uses sex as a weapon, never nags, and she makes as much as me and owns her own house and investment property. Plus she is younger and thinner than the ex and has family money.

I think I'm going to write a book about divorced men, their miserable lives with their shrews, and their happily ever after lives after divorce.

Ha! Give it a couple years, you'll be calling her a shrew, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically, men who divorce end up with women identical to or similar to the women they married in the first place. They repeat the same issues over and over because they refuse to do the work to address their own issues or understand why they are drawn to certain women.

This is true in the sense that any woman you marry eventually becomes fat, lazy, shrill, hectoring, and sex-denying. No reason to expect anything to be different if you repeat the same experiment with a basically similar subject (i.e., another woman).

Anonymous wrote:There is more to marriage than the person. I am not sure whether my husband would regret divorcing me. The thing is, though, that being married to me comes with a package of uninterrupted access to his children, a nice bundle of joint assets, the social status of being married to me, and a whole bunch of extras. That, I know, he would hate to lose. So in that sense, he would absolutely regret it, and for that reason, he will never divorce.

Anonymous wrote:I'm not the one who asked for the divorce and I had a difficult time wrapping my head around everything that was happening at the time, what it meant, etc. (we had one DC at the time). Once the fog lifted (about 11 months later), I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. I was able to see clearly, perhaps for the first time, just how mismatched my exW and I were. I am grateful for the fact we have a beautiful and smart child who we are jointly raising, and while I do feel bad sometimes that DC has to share two homes, I have no regrets and have never been happier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my limited experience, men typically leave FOR another woman. Women typically leave, because they can't stand the marriage anymore for whatever reason. In other words, a man rarely leaves without a plan B in the works. Obviously, I don't have a statistically significant sample LOL

Oh bullshit. Women branch swing. They don't let go of the existing branch until they're holding a new one.

Huh. I was single for a couple years between my serious bf and DH.

You seem to like to start posts with 'oh bullshit' pp. Clearly some woman once made you very angry. But I can tell you as a fairly attractive woman in my early 30s that I am not regularly approached for sex nor am I always looking for the next branch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically, men who divorce end up with women identical to or similar to the women they married in the first place. They repeat the same issues over and over because they refuse to do the work to address their own issues or understand why they are drawn to certain women.

Statistically, men who divorce end up with second wives who are on average 8 years younger.

and likely the same or identical in personality to the first wife - which is why most second marriages end in divorce.

No, not in my experience. All my divorced male friends who remarried are with the exact opposite (looks, and personality) from their exes. One of those friends is getting close to his 25th anniversary with wife #2, and one is at his 15th anniversary with wife #2. 100 percent of these friends report relationship #2 is night-and-day better.

Speaking just for myself, it has amazed me how kind my girlfriend is. She is the exact opposite from my ex-wife. My new love never has a tantrum, never gaslights, never does guilt trips, never calls me names, never uses sex as a weapon, never nags, and she makes as much as me and owns her own house and investment property. Plus she is younger and thinner than the ex and has family money.

I think I'm going to write a book about divorced men, their miserable lives with their shrews, and their happily ever after lives after divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistically, men who divorce end up with women identical to or similar to the women they married in the first place. They repeat the same issues over and over because they refuse to do the work to address their own issues or understand why they are drawn to certain women.

Statistically, men who divorce end up with second wives who are on average 8 years younger.

and likely the same or identical in personality to the first wife - which is why most second marriages end in divorce.

Anonymous wrote:In my limited experience, men typically leave FOR another woman. Women typically leave, because they can't stand the marriage anymore for whatever reason. In other words, a man rarely leaves without a plan B in the works. Obviously, I don't have a statistically significant sample LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok.... My husband left me and the kids. Walked out the door for his mistress. He told me he regrets it. He doesn't cry himself to sleep every night (I don't think), he made peace (to some degree?) with the fact he pretty much f-ed up his life. We are friends.

Another story from a woman. I wonder what he would tell me if I met him in a bar.

You do realize that the story he tells you at the bar may not be the truth either, right? Most people don't like to admit when they have made a mistake, so they put on a happy front.

My ex told me on numerous occasions that he felt like our divorce was a mistake and that he wanted to get back together-- he cheated and he filed for the divorce. He never got back on his feet after the divorce (we had a 50/50 split so there was no child support) and he died from heart disease exactly two years after we split. He was only 44 at the time of his death.

I thrived after the divorce and would have never gone back to him.

Same thing with my SIL. Her husband stupidly left her at age 50 for another woman. The other woman was broke having gone through bankruptcy and a divorce with her husband. I don't think SIL's husband researched her. Nasty divorce. He wanted the new tart and the home that was paid off. Judge gave her the home since she had the kids, and took less of the retirement. Home really appreciated. He and the new woman almost had to start over. Not a good age to do that. The OW ended up dying of a heart valve problem, and he died 3 years after that. He also tried to get back with SIL, but she refused his calls. Never talked to him after the divorce. He wasn't even invited to the sons wedding.

A lot of people don't factor in health problems, or changes in the job market etc. There's a reason 2nd marriages fail at a greater rate.

Anonymous wrote:I think most men don’t regret their divorces. Statistically they do much better off financially. And end up with a younger woman.

+1 Best thing I ever did. Took me three years to get my finances in order and now I have more money than I ever did before. There is a lot of BS about men cheating on this board. Married women cheat, a lot. I have been approached by more married women then single women now that I am single. I just wont go there

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok.... My husband left me and the kids. Walked out the door for his mistress. He told me he regrets it. He doesn't cry himself to sleep every night (I don't think), he made peace (to some degree?) with the fact he pretty much f-ed up his life. We are friends.

Another story from a woman. I wonder what he would tell me if I met him in a bar.

You do realize that the story he tells you at the bar may not be the truth either, right? Most people don't like to admit when they have made a mistake, so they put on a happy front.

My ex told me on numerous occasions that he felt like our divorce was a mistake and that he wanted to get back together-- he cheated and he filed for the divorce. He never got back on his feet after the divorce (we had a 50/50 split so there was no child support) and he died from heart disease exactly two years after we split. He was only 44 at the time of his death.

I thrived after the divorce and would have never gone back to him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my limited experience, men typically leave FOR another woman. Women typically leave, because they can't stand the marriage anymore for whatever reason. In other words, a man rarely leaves without a plan B in the works. Obviously, I don't have a statistically significant sample LOL

Oh bullshit. Women branch swing. They don't let go of the existing branch until they're holding a new one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think men regret divorces if they caused them by cheating, abuse, etc. Men are more likely than women to cheat when there isn't a relationship problem, out of just straight-up opportunism. Women usually don't cheat unless they unhappy with the relationship.

Oh bullshit. It requires a lot of effort for a man to cheat. He's got to make it happen. All women have to do is say yes to any of the approaches they constantly receive.

If a man cheats, it means he is not happy with the relationship. True, he might not want to leave his wife, but plenty of women also cheat who don't want to get a divorce for various reasons.