Anonymous
03/06/2018 08:50
Subject: Re:Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Well handled OP, you avoided any unnecessary drama. That was a total passive aggressive move on MIL’s part. Those pottery barn fabric chairs are expensive, and if you are embroidering a child’s name on something so prominently, you make sure it’s spelled correctly. But it obviously wasn’t just a mistake, she just thought her version of your child’s name was better.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 08:25
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Would you like to switch grandmas? We named our daughter Millicent. The first girl in each generation gets named that, going back many generations.
My mother's name is Millicent and MIL feels that Baby Millicent was named after her. She is bitter the baby was not named after her, so refuses to call her Millicent. Thus, she calls her Tillie. Millicent ignores her because she hears Tillie and probably thinks "well that's not me" and MIL gets very upset. We have told her repeatedly to try calling her by her name, Millicent, but she continues on with Tillie.
Tillie is really cute!
+1 that’s adorable! My grandpa was the only person in my life to call me Emma (my name is Emily and I only ever went by that) and I LOVED it. It was a special grandpa-granddaughter thing. Take a chill pill, for heaven’s sake.
The way you felt about something cannot be extrapolated to how everyone should feel about a similar situation. Clearly the OP doesn't like it, and there's a pretty good chance the OP's daughter won't like that her grandmother deliberately misspells her name. The grandmother clearly isn't doing it to create a special bond with the child, but rather to annoy the child's parents.
Tilllie is objectively so much better than Millicent.
This is true.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 08:17
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Super annoying and would bug me every time I saw it. I’d just get a kid sized throw and drape it strategically just like I drape throws over real armchairs. That way she can have a blanket when she sits in her reading chair. I’d start calling the chair her “silly chair” because her name is spelled a silly way.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 08:13
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
It’s a nickname. It’s not a real name. It’s not her given name. There are no rules on the right way to spell a nickname. My dad is a Donny and equally a Donnie. He writes it one way, but will answer to either.
I’m actually surprised your mil uses the nickname at all. Was that an issue? She sounds like she prefers the given name and is being passive aggressive.
I’m actually surprised your mil uses the nickname at all. Was that an issue? She sounds like she prefers the given name and is being passive aggressive.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 08:03
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
If grandma is rich and will leave you the money, I'd let her name the kid!
Anonymous
03/06/2018 08:01
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Can’t wait for the post where OPs daughter decided she’s Suzi
Anonymous
03/06/2018 07:06
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Would you like to switch grandmas? We named our daughter Millicent. The first girl in each generation gets named that, going back many generations.
My mother's name is Millicent and MIL feels that Baby Millicent was named after her. She is bitter the baby was not named after her, so refuses to call her Millicent. Thus, she calls her Tillie. Millicent ignores her because she hears Tillie and probably thinks "well that's not me" and MIL gets very upset. We have told her repeatedly to try calling her by her name, Millicent, but she continues on with Tillie.
Tillie is really cute!
+1 that’s adorable! My grandpa was the only person in my life to call me Emma (my name is Emily and I only ever went by that) and I LOVED it. It was a special grandpa-granddaughter thing. Take a chill pill, for heaven’s sake.
The way you felt about something cannot be extrapolated to how everyone should feel about a similar situation. Clearly the OP doesn't like it, and there's a pretty good chance the OP's daughter won't like that her grandmother deliberately misspells her name. The grandmother clearly isn't doing it to create a special bond with the child, but rather to annoy the child's parents.
Tilllie is objectively so much better than Millicent.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 05:15
Subject: Re:Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
OP, your MIL must do other passive-aggressive stuff like this all the time. No normal person would do this -- not respecting parents' choice of how to spell their child's name.
There was another thread on a MIL not spelling DDs name correctly -- I think it was regarding Catherine/Katherine. MIL kept getting monogrammed gifts for child with misspelled name.
Your DH needs to step in and correct this now before it becomes a bigger issue later.
There was another thread on a MIL not spelling DDs name correctly -- I think it was regarding Catherine/Katherine. MIL kept getting monogrammed gifts for child with misspelled name.
Your DH needs to step in and correct this now before it becomes a bigger issue later.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 04:47
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Would you like to switch grandmas? We named our daughter Millicent. The first girl in each generation gets named that, going back many generations.
My mother's name is Millicent and MIL feels that Baby Millicent was named after her. She is bitter the baby was not named after her, so refuses to call her Millicent. Thus, she calls her Tillie. Millicent ignores her because she hears Tillie and probably thinks "well that's not me" and MIL gets very upset. We have told her repeatedly to try calling her by her name, Millicent, but she continues on with Tillie.
That's hysterical. Sorry OP, but it made me smile.
DH and I have agreed that if this is our biggest extended-related problem we're doing well.
OP, can you maybe split the difference and suggest she call your DD Millie? Then at least it's related to her actual name?
Or maybe she backs off and just lets Grandma and Millicent have a special nickname they only use with each other.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 00:48
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
OP here. She pretends that she forgot and then says, " it's just so much prettier... [her way]. When DH told her that DD's name was spelled wrong on the chair, she smiled and said, " oops!"
Take it somewhere where it can be painted and fix it. You can probably do it yourself if you're crafty. It would be a good passive aggressive f*k you to MIL. If she notices and says something, just say it was spelled incorrectly so you decided to fix it and don't engage on the topic anymore.
I'd put something in the middle though. "It was spelled incorrectly... we thought about donating it but we do actually like it so decided just to fix it." That's putting her on notice that you won't tolerate her passive-aggressive BS anymore.
If she does give something with the wrong name and you don't love it, just give it away. I'd bet it would stop after that.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 00:43
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:
Take it somewhere where it can be painted and fix it. You can probably do it yourself if you're crafty. It would be a good passive aggressive f*k you to MIL. If she notices and says something, just say it was spelled incorrectly so you decided to fix it and don't engage on the topic anymore.
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks, everyone. I ordered a new cover for the chair with the correct spelling - everything else (color, piping, thread) is the same.
Clearly I should have kept reading. Awesome OP, good move.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 00:36
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:
OP here. She pretends that she forgot and then says, " it's just so much prettier... [her way]. When DH told her that DD's name was spelled wrong on the chair, she smiled and said, " oops!"
Take it somewhere where it can be painted and fix it. You can probably do it yourself if you're crafty. It would be a good passive aggressive f*k you to MIL. If she notices and says something, just say it was spelled incorrectly so you decided to fix it and don't engage on the topic anymore.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 00:30
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Would you like to switch grandmas? We named our daughter Millicent. The first girl in each generation gets named that, going back many generations.
My mother's name is Millicent and MIL feels that Baby Millicent was named after her. She is bitter the baby was not named after her, so refuses to call her Millicent. Thus, she calls her Tillie. Millicent ignores her because she hears Tillie and probably thinks "well that's not me" and MIL gets very upset. We have told her repeatedly to try calling her by her name, Millicent, but she continues on with Tillie.
That's hysterical. Sorry OP, but it made me smile.
DH and I have agreed that if this is our biggest extended-related problem we're doing well.
OP, can you maybe split the difference and suggest she call your DD Millie? Then at least it's related to her actual name?
Ugh. Why should PP have to compromise on her own daughter's name? MIL had her own kids to name; she doesn't and shouldn't get a say in her grandkids' names. It is rude and disrespectful to blatantly refuse to call a child by their given name or nickname because you don't like it or are bitter. I hope the kid continues to ignore grandma until grandma can grow up and use her actual name.
Anonymous
03/06/2018 00:24
Subject: Re:Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks, everyone. I ordered a new cover for the chair with the correct spelling - everything else (color, piping, thread) is the same.
FWIW I think this is a great solution--and it can (if you want it to be) be a conversation starter for the fact that she cannot keep spelling it wrong. I think it's fair to say "DD is getting old enough to recognize and spell her own name, and it is important for her and to us that it be spelled correctly."
The passive aggressiveness would make me nuts (and I'm plenty good at being passive-aggressive!)
+1
Anonymous
03/06/2018 00:10
Subject: Why can't you spell her nickname the way we do.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Would you like to switch grandmas? We named our daughter Millicent. The first girl in each generation gets named that, going back many generations.
My mother's name is Millicent and MIL feels that Baby Millicent was named after her. She is bitter the baby was not named after her, so refuses to call her Millicent. Thus, she calls her Tillie. Millicent ignores her because she hears Tillie and probably thinks "well that's not me" and MIL gets very upset. We have told her repeatedly to try calling her by her name, Millicent, but she continues on with Tillie.
That's hysterical. Sorry OP, but it made me smile.
DH and I have agreed that if this is our biggest extended-related problem we're doing well.
OP, can you maybe split the difference and suggest she call your DD Millie? Then at least it's related to her actual name?