Anonymous wrote:$20 an hour is $40k a year. You guys are acting like that’s poverty wages

IDK about you but I'd be pissed to be an ivy grad with a masters making 40k. And no my kids would not make it worth it for me.

OP here. I have a problem with my job/career path/lack of career/low pay. I don't really care what others think about it. I feel like I wasted my master's degree but the problem is that I'm not that interested in the subject of my master's degree field anymore. If I could be back in college again I'd pursue an allied health career--physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, etc. and start my own practice. Wish I could pursue that path now but I can't uproot us for a new grad degree.

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Anonymous wrote:The more meaningful question would be why you couldn't develop your career before you had kids. You had many years to establish yourself in the field - what happened that it wasn't accomplished? If you were an established professional by the time you had kids, you could have had a flexible and much better paying job in your field of expertise.

Except for making you feel better for asking, how is this a helpful comment? (Not op. I make less than 20)

I'd like to understand why such a smart, successful and educated young woman had no career before having kids. Something doesn't add up here. If she wasn't interested in building her career pre-kids, why should it be a surprise that she doesn't have it now at the age of 40? If she was happy without a career pre-kids, why can't she continue being happy now? If she was an expert at something pre-kids, she should be able to find a job in her field and make more money. She said she stayed home only for 2 years, not 20.

OP here. I got my master's degree when I was 31. Worked full-time for a few years, pregnant at 34. SAH from 35-37. Now been working at this job from 38-40.

Before I got my master's degree I was underemployed in a few random jobs.

Why couldn't you find a decent job after you received your bachelors degree? That should answer the question as to why you have no higher paying job now.

OP here. Well, the reason why I was underemployed in many random jobs in my 20s before I got my master's degree was that I was trying to apply to med school after I got my BA in biology. I was doing a post-bacc pre-med program, studying for the MCAT, working as a research assistant in a hospital, working other types of jobs in the medical field, etc. I spent 5 years in my 20s on that path. And after all that I got in nowhere. So I really had to readjust my whole career plan. I ended up getting my master's in public health instead. Then I had twins and SAH. Then I took this current job making $20 per hour because I wanted to be available when needed to attend events at my kids' school, be the one to stay home for sick days and snow days, etc.

So do you actually have a problem with your current situation? Or just the perception of it? If you want to make more money, it would seem to be that with a Master's degree and some level of work experience, you could easily get a better paying job, even one that still afforded you a similar level of flexibility and work life balance. I mean it seems like you're justifying/defending yourself to everyone, so if you don't actually have a problem with your job, you don't have a problem. If you personally don't feel fulfilled or like you wasted a Master's degree, I mean I guess there's no turning back the clock on the whole twins/SAHM thing, but you are in control here. If you don't need the income, are there other ways you can utilize your skills or do something that makes you feel more valuable?

You work part time because you like the flexibility and family friendly aspect. Are you prepared to give that up? Do you want to give that up? I had a career for 15 years after I got my MBA from a top 10 school. When my kids reached elem and middle school and my DH was making a lot of money I took the flexible and family friendly route and ran a small substance abuse non profit. I probably made $20 an hour working 30 hours a week. I loved the work and being closer to home but I always wondered what my career would have been like if I stayed on the corporate track. While I have some regrets, being near my kids during those critical through HS years was a real plus in addition to feeling very good about the work I was doing. I would like to have been a C-Suite person but things have worked out incredibly well for my marriage, my kids, my DH's career and I did very good work for the non profit that I'm very proud of.

OP— it is hard to offtrack for kids then get back on. BTDT. And you might not be able to snap your fingers and make the ideal carrier situation happen.

So, consider this. If you like the job you have, and find it meaningful and fulfilling, who care what it pays? If people were paid what they are worth, teachers would be making double what they do. You don’t define your worth by a title.

If you think your job is boring and dead end, what do you want to do? What does your education qualify you to do? You need a ten year plan that lets you be flexible while you have kids at home and devote more time when the leave for college. If you don’t need the income, start by volunteering for a non-profit in your area of interest and looking for networking events. Start building your credentials in what you want to be doing, so that you can transition to working for pay.

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Anonymous wrote:I'm going to throw sand in the cake batter and say that I don't think parenting is the most important job in the world. Neither does OP. That is what leads to the sense of a lack of fulfillment. Some years ago Caitlin Flanagan wrote an excellent piece about it in The Atlantic. As the mother of 3 daughters I actually find the "parenting is all" idea dangerous. We are telling girls and women to always choose someone else first. This world loses so much because women devote it to their children instead of society at large.

I'm wondering what on earth could be more important than devoting time to one's own children. What a strange outlook on life.

Strange Outlook PP here. The best part is that it is nearly impossible to imagine a man saying this with a straight face and living out the conviction: i.e. doing all he could to maximize time caring for his children. A big part of my problem with the "parenting is all" ethos is that it seems only to apply to women. No educated and healthy man is ever expected to choose childcare and housework over a career outside the home. That is why the few who do are lionized.

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Anonymous wrote:The more meaningful question would be why you couldn't develop your career before you had kids. You had many years to establish yourself in the field - what happened that it wasn't accomplished? If you were an established professional by the time you had kids, you could have had a flexible and much better paying job in your field of expertise.

+1

I actually think -1

Unless you are on a straight track "prestige vocation" as I like to call it in my head- MD, JD...........the path for most is really meandering and you generally change fields once by the time you are in your early 30s. The ones I know who have really established careers outside of medicine or law actually had kids younger. I waited until 33 myself so I am not in that camp but it is interesting because I guess when you think about it, 26 year olds in any field are kind of given the grunt work anyway, and can do that stuff often while taking a day here and there for sick leave or taking 12 weeks off- that kind of work shuffles around easier than the middle/upper managers who are closer to 35-40

Anonymous wrote:As others have said on this board from time to time, comparison is the thief of joy. If you are happy, don’t worry about what your friends or old classmates are doing. Enjoy what you have. Do not get caught up in material things.

I was a total high school dork overachiever. Still got great grades through college and law school (though I didn’t attend any Ivies). I work for my local county government as an attorney and I make a crap salary. However, the work is rewarding, the hours flexible, my boss is super great to work for, and I make enough money to get by and travel a little bit. That’s all I need to be happy. Sure, sometimes I get a pang of jealousy when I see my fancy law firm friends with their expensive handbags and cars, but I’m happy with my life. I have things that they don’t...like time. Like living mostly stress-free.

You have to look within and not at what everyone else is doing.

That's a great perspective.

As others have said on this board from time to time, comparison is the thief of joy. If you are happy, don’t worry about what your friends or old classmates are doing. Enjoy what you have. Do not get caught up in material things.

I was a total high school dork overachiever. Still got great grades through college and law school (though I didn’t attend any Ivies). I work for my local county government as an attorney and I make a crap salary. However, the work is rewarding, the hours flexible, my boss is super great to work for, and I make enough money to get by and travel a little bit. That’s all I need to be happy. Sure, sometimes I get a pang of jealousy when I see my fancy law firm friends with their expensive handbags and cars, but I’m happy with my life. I have things that they don’t...like time. Like living mostly stress-free.

You have to look within and not at what everyone else is doing.

Op - I am almost 37 and will be choosing a new career path that will pay me about $30/hr. I, too, also had twins and SAH with them the past 3 years while going to school in the evenings for this new vocation. This is my choice, though. I want a flexible schedule for my kids, and to not have a stressful job while making enough to cover some of our expenses. I am perfectly happy making a smaller salary, having a less stressful line of work and a flexible schedule. There is nothing to be ashamed of- you are working and are a contributing member of society... sometimes it’s not always about the money.

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Anonymous wrote:The more meaningful question would be why you couldn't develop your career before you had kids. You had many years to establish yourself in the field - what happened that it wasn't accomplished? If you were an established professional by the time you had kids, you could have had a flexible and much better paying job in your field of expertise.

Except for making you feel better for asking, how is this a helpful comment? (Not op. I make less than 20)

I'd like to understand why such a smart, successful and educated young woman had no career before having kids. Something doesn't add up here. If she wasn't interested in building her career pre-kids, why should it be a surprise that she doesn't have it now at the age of 40? If she was happy without a career pre-kids, why can't she continue being happy now? If she was an expert at something pre-kids, she should be able to find a job in her field and make more money. She said she stayed home only for 2 years, not 20.

OP here. I got my master's degree when I was 31. Worked full-time for a few years, pregnant at 34. SAH from 35-37. Now been working at this job from 38-40.

Before I got my master's degree I was underemployed in a few random jobs.

Why couldn't you find a decent job after you received your bachelors degree? That should answer the question as to why you have no higher paying job now.

OP here. Well, the reason why I was underemployed in many random jobs in my 20s before I got my master's degree was that I was trying to apply to med school after I got my BA in biology. I was doing a post-bacc pre-med program, studying for the MCAT, working as a research assistant in a hospital, working other types of jobs in the medical field, etc. I spent 5 years in my 20s on that path. And after all that I got in nowhere. So I really had to readjust my whole career plan. I ended up getting my master's in public health instead. Then I had twins and SAH. Then I took this current job making $20 per hour because I wanted to be available when needed to attend events at my kids' school, be the one to stay home for sick days and snow days, etc.

Sounds like a pretty good life to me. Why don't you just enjoy it while it lasts? When the kids are older you can pursue a high paying, meaningful job/career. Now, just chill! Nothing to get all riled up about!

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Anonymous wrote:The more meaningful question would be why you couldn't develop your career before you had kids. You had many years to establish yourself in the field - what happened that it wasn't accomplished? If you were an established professional by the time you had kids, you could have had a flexible and much better paying job in your field of expertise.

Except for making you feel better for asking, how is this a helpful comment? (Not op. I make less than 20)

I'd like to understand why such a smart, successful and educated young woman had no career before having kids. Something doesn't add up here. If she wasn't interested in building her career pre-kids, why should it be a surprise that she doesn't have it now at the age of 40? If she was happy without a career pre-kids, why can't she continue being happy now? If she was an expert at something pre-kids, she should be able to find a job in her field and make more money. She said she stayed home only for 2 years, not 20.

OP here. I got my master's degree when I was 31. Worked full-time for a few years, pregnant at 34. SAH from 35-37. Now been working at this job from 38-40.

Before I got my master's degree I was underemployed in a few random jobs.

Why couldn't you find a decent job after you received your bachelors degree? That should answer the question as to why you have no higher paying job now.

OP here. Well, the reason why I was underemployed in many random jobs in my 20s before I got my master's degree was that I was trying to apply to med school after I got my BA in biology. I was doing a post-bacc pre-med program, studying for the MCAT, working as a research assistant in a hospital, working other types of jobs in the medical field, etc. I spent 5 years in my 20s on that path. And after all that I got in nowhere. So I really had to readjust my whole career plan. I ended up getting my master's in public health instead. Then I had twins and SAH. Then I took this current job making $20 per hour because I wanted to be available when needed to attend events at my kids' school, be the one to stay home for sick days and snow days, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The more meaningful question would be why you couldn't develop your career before you had kids. You had many years to establish yourself in the field - what happened that it wasn't accomplished? If you were an established professional by the time you had kids, you could have had a flexible and much better paying job in your field of expertise.

Except for making you feel better for asking, how is this a helpful comment? (Not op. I make less than 20)

I'd like to understand why such a smart, successful and educated young woman had no career before having kids. Something doesn't add up here. If she wasn't interested in building her career pre-kids, why should it be a surprise that she doesn't have it now at the age of 40? If she was happy without a career pre-kids, why can't she continue being happy now? If she was an expert at something pre-kids, she should be able to find a job in her field and make more money. She said she stayed home only for 2 years, not 20.

OP here. I got my master's degree when I was 31. Worked full-time for a few years, pregnant at 34. SAH from 35-37. Now been working at this job from 38-40.

Before I got my master's degree I was underemployed in a few random jobs.

Why couldn't you find a decent job after you received your bachelors degree? That should answer the question as to why you have no higher paying job now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The more meaningful question would be why you couldn't develop your career before you had kids. You had many years to establish yourself in the field - what happened that it wasn't accomplished? If you were an established professional by the time you had kids, you could have had a flexible and much better paying job in your field of expertise.

Except for making you feel better for asking, how is this a helpful comment? (Not op. I make less than 20)

I'd like to understand why such a smart, successful and educated young woman had no career before having kids. Something doesn't add up here. If she wasn't interested in building her career pre-kids, why should it be a surprise that she doesn't have it now at the age of 40? If she was happy without a career pre-kids, why can't she continue being happy now? If she was an expert at something pre-kids, she should be able to find a job in her field and make more money. She said she stayed home only for 2 years, not 20.

OP here. I got my master's degree when I was 31. Worked full-time for a few years, pregnant at 34. SAH from 35-37. Now been working at this job from 38-40.

Before I got my master's degree I was underemployed in a few random jobs.

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Anonymous wrote:Your net worth of not your self worth but at the same time, I consider my law firm partner salary mine because we both work equally hard to allow that job within our family

Um that's funny. My spouse and I are both equity law firm partners (he is 100%, I am 80%). Your job doesn't permit him to be a law firm partner.

Similar situation in our family except that I'm in house and typically work 50 hours/week. This statement is somewhat offensive. Nobody NEEDS a SAH spouse to work hard or be successful. And my work work success is entirely my own.