Anonymous wrote:Thought of this post after receiving an invite to attend a 50 something year old’s birthday party at their country club. Charging each guest a fee to come play tennis, a drink and have ‘snacks’. Can’t make this stuff up!

No way, this did not happen. I don’t believe it.

Anonymous wrote:We have an acquaintance who also has very large partirs for her DS at bounce house/play house type places where they charge admission per child. She offers cake and goody bags to the attendees but doesn't pay for their cost of attending. It's clearly a gift grab. We have always declined.

Haha I am pretty easy going and I would pay, but I would tell that story for weeks. Or try really hard not to.

Anonymous wrote:Thought of this post after receiving an invite to attend a 50 something year old’s birthday party at their country club. Charging each guest a fee to come play tennis, a drink and have ‘snacks’. Can’t make this stuff up!

What's the fee? Was it all non-members? As members we do stuff like this all the time but the tennis is "free", the drinks go on our own account, and I don't remember snacks. I guess the birthday person would have to arrange in advance and put on their account. Nobody worries too much what does on accounts since we're all members and used to just paying the bill each month without too much examination!

If I invited a non-member or two I would cover their tab as they have no way to pay. I don't think it's good manners at a club to invite oodles of non-members. Strange club. Strange friend! I wouldn't like that invite, PP!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with young people having separate checks at a restaurant birthday party, but the host needs to make it clear and the birthday person needs to pay their own bill. Someone can pick it up as a gift if they want to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never happened to me. Maybe I don't get invited to enough events. LOL.

"I’m standing up for all guests who are tired of this trend. Call it my #guestsdontpay protest."

From Washington Post:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/get-there/wp/2018/01/30/stop-charging-me-to-attend-your-celebrations-guestsdontpay/

New couple in the neighborhood was making friends (Bethesda) and invited a bunch of people to his wife's birthday party. At the end of the evening we got an email, "You can drop the $250 check off to me at drop-off or just stick in in my mailbox." I had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out that nobody else did, either. How socially awkward not to tell people up front that they're participating in a guest-pay dinner AFTER the fact. We didn't pay. We dropped him.

There’s something called making a mistake. Some people make mistakes maybe this poor guy didn’t know better or maybe that’s what he grew up accustom to. You don’t need to cut people out of your life because they make a mistake.

Expecting people to drop $250 in the mail after you invited them out in celebration isn't a mistake, its a sign of low class and pretty indicative that this person isn't someone you'd want to hang with in the future.

It’s not low class, plenty of high class people are cheap. This is just bad manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never happened to me. Maybe I don't get invited to enough events. LOL.

"I’m standing up for all guests who are tired of this trend. Call it my #guestsdontpay protest."

From Washington Post:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/get-there/wp/2018/01/30/stop-charging-me-to-attend-your-celebrations-guestsdontpay/

This is standard to pay for your meal and split the birthday person's meal in my social circle. I am happy to be included and have no issue paying for my meal plus the birthday celebrants.

There is a caveat here though, if the birthday person plans the dinner then it’s on them to cover the cost of guests who attend (that’s what I do) if friends plan for the birthday person then they cover.

Anonymous wrote:Whatever happened to just hosting simple things at home? We do at home birthdays for our kid. People act like it's so unusual and brave.

Making everything such a big production just encourages people to not get together and celebrate. No wonder there is an epidemic of loneliness in this country.

+ 1



I did this for DS 6 and 7 year birthday. He said next year he just wants to have 1-2 friends over or just celebrate with family. I think birthday parties at the play places are less personal. Growing up ours were longer and so much fun. I don’t remember getting goodie bags. Most of the time with friends who have get togethers at homes. Some cook and others will order a catering type of portion. None of us celebrate our birthdays in large parties. I always found that strange. I occasionally will go out with one friend and of course I will treat the birthday person even if they asked to go out.

I half expect my BIL to do this for his next wedding.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never happened to me. Maybe I don't get invited to enough events. LOL.

"I’m standing up for all guests who are tired of this trend. Call it my #guestsdontpay protest."

From Washington Post:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/get-there/wp/2018/01/30/stop-charging-me-to-attend-your-celebrations-guestsdontpay/

This is standard to pay for your meal and split the birthday person's meal in my social circle. I am happy to be included and have no issue paying for my meal plus the birthday celebrants.

I am really sorry but this sounds very low class to me. Is this a race or class thing?

Your question is actually very low class to me. I will answer it though. We are top 1% income and educated.

Sadly. You and your friends are classic examples that money cannot buy class.

Thought of this post after receiving an invite to attend a 50 something year old’s birthday party at their country club. Charging each guest a fee to come play tennis, a drink and have ‘snacks’. Can’t make this stuff up!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got an invitation to a non-hosted baby shower at a fancy restaurant. Yup, we will be charged to attend, we will be paying for the mother and grandmother, and the mother Had multiple registries so we are expected to bring a gift or cash as well. I will send a gift but not attend.

LOL They are nuts! Whoever planned invited etc. should also pay. I wouldn't even send a gift until you're really close.

The mother and mother in law are planning it. I can't believe that the mother in law is expecting that we pay for her as well, but apparently it I said a "multigenerational celebration".

I wish I could post a photo of the mother invite that says "this is a non-hosted event".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never happened to me. Maybe I don't get invited to enough events. LOL.

"I’m standing up for all guests who are tired of this trend. Call it my #guestsdontpay protest."

From Washington Post:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/get-there/wp/2018/01/30/stop-charging-me-to-attend-your-celebrations-guestsdontpay/

New couple in the neighborhood was making friends (Bethesda) and invited a bunch of people to his wife's birthday party. At the end of the evening we got an email, "You can drop the $250 check off to me at drop-off or just stick in in my mailbox." I had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out that nobody else did, either. How socially awkward not to tell people up front that they're participating in a guest-pay dinner AFTER the fact. We didn't pay. We dropped him.

There’s something called making a mistake. Some people make mistakes maybe this poor guy didn’t know better or maybe that’s what he grew up accustom to. You don’t need to cut people out of your life because they make a mistake.

Expecting people to drop $250 in the mail after you invited them out in celebration isn't a mistake, its a sign of low class and pretty indicative that this person isn't someone you'd want to hang with in the future.

Anonymous wrote:I got an invitation to a non-hosted baby shower at a fancy restaurant. Yup, we will be charged to attend, we will be paying for the mother and grandmother, and the mother Had multiple registries so we are expected to bring a gift or cash as well. I will send a gift but not attend.

LOL They are nuts! Whoever planned invited etc. should also pay. I wouldn't even send a gift until you're really close.

I got an invitation to a non-hosted baby shower at a fancy restaurant. Yup, we will be charged to attend, we will be paying for the mother and grandmother, and the mother Had multiple registries so we are expected to bring a gift or cash as well. I will send a gift but not attend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never happened to me. Maybe I don't get invited to enough events. LOL.

"I’m standing up for all guests who are tired of this trend. Call it my #guestsdontpay protest."

From Washington Post:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/get-there/wp/2018/01/30/stop-charging-me-to-attend-your-celebrations-guestsdontpay/

New couple in the neighborhood was making friends (Bethesda) and invited a bunch of people to his wife's birthday party. At the end of the evening we got an email, "You can drop the $250 check off to me at drop-off or just stick in in my mailbox." I had no idea what he was talking about. Turns out that nobody else did, either. How socially awkward not to tell people up front that they're participating in a guest-pay dinner AFTER the fact. We didn't pay. We dropped him.

There’s something called making a mistake. Some people make mistakes maybe this poor guy didn’t know better or maybe that’s what he grew up accustom to. You don’t need to cut people out of your life because they make a mistake.