I don't want my kids to just "obey" either. I want them to think!

I don't think this fight is worth it. I would ignore. If the kid is in actual danger, intervene. Self inflicted discomfort? whatever. Plus, the more attention you pay to it, the more the whole situation sticks and becomes a Thing. Don't make it A Thing.

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term "Obey." I don't want my son to "obey" me any more than I want to "obey" a husband. I want my son to be an independent thinker that expresses his opinions in an intelligent respectful manner.

Okay, what’s your son going to do when he gets a job with a dress code? This is great practice for dressing appropriately even when you don’t want to.

My 15yo niece was wearing a thin short sleeved shirt all week when it was 0 degrees here. And she whined about how Cold she was, but refused to dress more appropriately. It was weird. Her parents said she likes the attention she gets from everyone around her. Oh honey, aren't you freezing? You poor thing, let me get you a blanket. Girl, are you crazy? (Doesn't matter what kind of attention she receives).

Anonymous wrote:One time my kid refused to wear a coat to school because he hardly spends any time out of he building. On that particular day, they had a fire drill and had to wait outside for an hour or so, and he got cold. Live and learn. I don't normally fight my kids on what they wear as long as it is weather appropriate. I have a 12 yr .

Do the kids stop to put their coats on during a fire drill?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term "Obey." I don't want my son to "obey" me any more than I want to "obey" a husband. I want my son to be an independent thinker that expresses his opinions in an intelligent respectful manner.

Hopefully, you will grow up and mature a little before you really start impacting your kids.

P.S. The last thing society needs is more parents encouraging their kids to be "independent thinkers that express opinions."

This.

Right! Society already has too many independent thinkers that express opinions!

Wait, what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theory has always been that if it's not physically dangerous and/or I don't have to be there to hear them whine to let it go. Tomorrow morning, if walking or waiting for long at a bus stop, I might be one where I'd have to insist.

That's our rule -- I don't care if they're uncomfortable, but they need to be safe, and shorts at 7 degrees is not OK.

Shorts at 27 degrees is not my cup of tea, but at those temperatures he'll only be cold for his walk to school (takes about half an hour). That's his choice.

+1

To me it depends on the temperature. If it's extremely cold and windchill and he risks frostbite in ten minutes, then yes, I would fight the battle for a 13 year old. Sometimes even adults don't recognize extreme winter temperatures for how serious they are, and frostbite is a serious issue, and once you have experienced frostbite you are more susceptible to it on that area forever going forward.

For regular winter temperatures, I wouldn't.

This. If the temperatures are above freezing, and they aren't going to be outside for more than the time it takes to get to school or whatever, then they'll just be cold--either it won't bother them, in which case who cares, or it will, and they'll wear a coat next time. If it doesn't bother them, then why would I insist? People feel the temperature differently, and maybe they don't feel as cold as I do.

If it's a health or safety issue, though, then I would fight the battle. When there's a wind chill advisory or something, then it's not their choice anymore, and I tell them why--I'm their parent, it's my responsibility to look out for their safety, and I always get to override them if that's at issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term "Obey." I don't want my son to "obey" me any more than I want to "obey" a husband. I want my son to be an independent thinker that expresses his opinions in an intelligent respectful manner.

Hopefully, you will grow up and mature a little before you really start impacting your kids.

P.S. The last thing society needs is more parents encouraging their kids to be "independent thinkers that express opinions."

This.

BUT you do need to launch your kids. They have to be independent enough to make their own breakfast and dress themselves!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term "Obey." I don't want my son to "obey" me any more than I want to "obey" a husband. I want my son to be an independent thinker that expresses his opinions in an intelligent respectful manner.

Hopefully, you will grow up and mature a little before you really start impacting your kids.

P.S. The last thing society needs is more parents encouraging their kids to be "independent thinkers that express opinions."

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term "Obey." I don't want my son to "obey" me any more than I want to "obey" a husband. I want my son to be an independent thinker that expresses his opinions in an intelligent respectful manner.

You are a poor excuse for a parent.

He dresses appropriately or loses a privilege. The End.

The wise leader knows, you don't give a command you have no hope of enforcing.

Unless you plan to follow your child around to the bus stop and back, you have no way of knowing if he is wearing his winter gear.

Sounds more like a power struggle

Anonymous wrote:Make him carrry it, it's up to him whether he wears it or not.

Ha ha. Mine used to leave the house with his coat and then hide it behind the trash can on the way to the school bus.

Make him carrry it, it's up to him whether he wears it or not.

My 12 yr old DS just started putting up a fuss about a winter coat. I usually make him wear it since you never know what could happen (no heat in the car, etc). My school didn't have heat in some of the classrooms this week and those kids had to borrow coats from other kids to wear.

Anonymous wrote:Meh, part of learning responsibility as a teen is natural consequences. They need to weigh the 'cool' factor versus the 'cold' factor.

The compromise we have is that there has to be gloves, and a good warm hat in the backpack. That way should they be stuck outside and do get cold enough, they eventually have options.

Same here. We don't have a lot of rules but the ones we do have we enforce strictly mostly related to safety (seat belts, helmets, etc) and morality (no bullying, no shaming, etc.). Now that my kids are older, I let them choose to wear a winter coat or not. They're old enough to make that kind of decision and I have no need for control in that area. Like the PP, I do require them to have a hat/gloves in their backpacks but that's a 'preparedness' issue. Same reason I keep an emergency blanket, flares and jumper cables in the car.

My oldest chose not to wear a coat yesterday and had to walk home from school after practice with just a hoodie (and, of course, his hat/gloves from his backpack). He thought he could get a ride but couldn't. I don't know yet if it's changed his mind about the coat. He'll figure it out.

Holy crap, do you people button their mittens to their coat sleeves too? Your kids must think you are the coolest!