Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be firm that he needs to not be involved with that aide again. She does not sound qualified and her poor judgment escalated the situation quickly for no reason.

New poster here. I would not want this paraeducator around him either. I'm not excusing what he did. But there is no reason to keep them together.

Also, I'm surprised he was suspended. I thought MCPS' new policies were to limit as much as possible any chance of out-of-school suspension, because it doesn't do anything to help the kid do better. While I could see it for an older bigger child, I don't get it, from a safety perspective, for a 2nd grader.

Their regulations state that suspension should not be used for kids pre-K through 3rd grade. Four days is considered a long-term suspension.

I honestly would appeal it. Because it's so unusual. You appeal first to the Principal, and then to the Director of Pupil Personnel and Attendance Services.

Again, I'm not excusing it. I personally would talk to a psychologist and/or get your kid therapy. Not that there's something inherently wrong with him. But therapy can help increase better frustration tolerance and teach appropriate behavior.






Here are the regs.

http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/policy/pdf/jgarb.pdf

Here is what the doc above states:

If the behavior of a Pre-K- Grade 2 student warrants suspension in accordance with the MCPS Student Code of Conduct, the following applies:

1. The principal/designee must consult with a school psychologist or the coordinator/director of psychological services to determine if there is an
imminent threat of serious harm to other students and staff that cannot be eliminated through other interventions and supports.

2. If the school principal/designee decidesto proceed with the suspension, the principal/designee must then contact the appropriate director in the Office of School Support and Improvement for approval.

3. If a suspension is approved, the length of suspension may not exceed five school days.

I don't see where it says that suspension should not be used for these young students.

III.C.1 states the factors that have to be considered before suspending a kid, including, "The student’s age (In Pre-K–Grade 3, suspension and expulsion generally should not be used)."

Also, in the MCPS Student Code of Conduct, there is a note that says:

"*Under a recent change in state law, there are heightened restrictions on the suspension and expulsion of PreK–2 students. Principal/designees must seek approval, except in cases involving an imminent threat of serious harm, from their director in the Office of School Support and Improvement before suspending or expelling a Grade PreK-2 student to ensure compliance with these rules."

The changed state law puts strict limits on suspensions for K-2 students. The principal may not have been aware of these llmits and may not have done the necessary consultation with his supervision

PP again adding that this person was eventually fired after even more egregious behavior was reported by other parents. It took a few years, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the part about the para-educator mocking your child really struck me. I think you need to make a big deal about this and, if I were you, i would make it a separate issue from the appeal of the suspension itself. I would not want my child around this person.

Op here: I will definitely be making this a point. She is also a teacher in the afterschool program and has gotten complaints on yelling at the children and being unnecessarily harsh. This came up at an all parent meeting the program had earlier this year.

DD had issues with a paraeducator who was also part of the staff in the aftercare program she was attending. This person would lose their temper all the time and yell at kids. Trust your instincts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the part about the para-educator mocking your child really struck me. I think you need to make a big deal about this and, if I were you, i would make it a separate issue from the appeal of the suspension itself. I would not want my child around this person.

Op here: I will definitely be making this a point. She is also a teacher in the afterschool program and has gotten complaints on yelling at the children and being unnecessarily harsh. This came up at an all parent meeting the program had earlier this year.

My neurotypical kid reacted terribly to a daycare aide that similarly mocked him. Even at age 2, that aide was on his sh$t list permanently. I was actually happy that he could recognize disrespectful behavior, even in an adult. And frankly, there are few behaviors that would lead me as an adult to lose control, but mocking me would be one of them.

You are right to address the behavior and continue your search for answers to the underlying medical issues. And consequences are appropriate for him, even thought I agree that the punishment is way out of line for this situation (my NT kid is in 1st). But it sounds like you'd be doing everyone a favor by formalizing your grievance about this teacher. The fact that his issues are aggravated by an adult, rather than helped, is a sign that she is in the wrong business (especially given the other complaints).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No personal experience, but the adults in that situation handled things terribly. He needs a different para at the very least.

This assumes that the story being related is accurate.

Op here: This the story my son has told and I have no reason to not believe him. He has only had issues this year with this para in his class. He has told me that she has made him want to run from class several times and embarrasses him regularly.

17:51 again. Sounds like the para is the problem. Don’t be surprised if the para is known to be like this by the school. With our Sp Ed teacher, I later learned she was notorious for treating her colleagues in the same manner as my DS. She had been a teacher at the school before becoming a SN teacher. She left the school at the end of the school year and many of her fellow teachers were not sad to see her go.

Tread lightly op. What your son relates to you isn't necessarily accurate, but that doesn't mean he'd be lying to you. His perception is his reality, but that doesn't mean the adults actually did exactly what he is stating. You won't get anywhere with the school if you enter the situation blaming anyone. Simply state how your son experienced the situation. Was his perception accurate? If not, what can be done next time to make expectations explicit to him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No personal experience, but the adults in that situation handled things terribly. He needs a different para at the very least.

This assumes that the story being related is accurate.

Op here: This the story my son has told and I have no reason to not believe him. He has only had issues this year with this para in his class. He has told me that she has made him want to run from class several times and embarrasses him regularly.

17:51 again. Sounds like the para is the problem. Don’t be surprised if the para is known to be like this by the school. With our Sp Ed teacher, I later learned she was notorious for treating her colleagues in the same manner as my DS. She had been a teacher at the school before becoming a SN teacher. She left the school at the end of the school year and many of her fellow teachers were not sad to see her go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be firm that he needs to not be involved with that aide again. She does not sound qualified and her poor judgment escalated the situation quickly for no reason.

New poster here. I would not want this paraeducator around him either. I'm not excusing what he did. But there is no reason to keep them together.

Also, I'm surprised he was suspended. I thought MCPS' new policies were to limit as much as possible any chance of out-of-school suspension, because it doesn't do anything to help the kid do better. While I could see it for an older bigger child, I don't get it, from a safety perspective, for a 2nd grader.

Their regulations state that suspension should not be used for kids pre-K through 3rd grade. Four days is considered a long-term suspension.

I honestly would appeal it. Because it's so unusual. You appeal first to the Principal, and then to the Director of Pupil Personnel and Attendance Services.

Again, I'm not excusing it. I personally would talk to a psychologist and/or get your kid therapy. Not that there's something inherently wrong with him. But therapy can help increase better frustration tolerance and teach appropriate behavior.






Here are the regs.

http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/policy/pdf/jgarb.pdf

Here is what the doc above states:

If the behavior of a Pre-K- Grade 2 student warrants suspension in accordance with the MCPS Student Code of Conduct, the following applies:

1. The principal/designee must consult with a school psychologist or the coordinator/director of psychological services to determine if there is an
imminent threat of serious harm to other students and staff that cannot be eliminated through other interventions and supports.

2. If the school principal/designee decidesto proceed with the suspension, the principal/designee must then contact the appropriate director in the Office of School Support and Improvement for approval.

3. If a suspension is approved, the length of suspension may not exceed five school days.

I don't see where it says that suspension should not be used for these young students.

Anonymous wrote:OP, the part about the para-educator mocking your child really struck me. I think you need to make a big deal about this and, if I were you, i would make it a separate issue from the appeal of the suspension itself. I would not want my child around this person.

Op here: I will definitely be making this a point. She is also a teacher in the afterschool program and has gotten complaints on yelling at the children and being unnecessarily harsh. This came up at an all parent meeting the program had earlier this year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No personal experience, but the adults in that situation handled things terribly. He needs a different para at the very least.

This assumes that the story being related is accurate.

Op here: This the story my son has told and I have no reason to not believe him. He has only had issues this year with this para in his class. He has told me that she has made him want to run from class several times and embarrasses him regularly.

OP, the part about the para-educator mocking your child really struck me. I think you need to make a big deal about this and, if I were you, i would make it a separate issue from the appeal of the suspension itself. I would not want my child around this person.

Anonymous wrote:No personal experience, but the adults in that situation handled things terribly. He needs a different para at the very least.

This assumes that the story being related is accurate.

So my 1st grader with an IEP for ADHD/ASD was suspended for 3 days for pushing a para out of his way when she was blocking the door to keep him from leaving to go to lunch after having him in time out for 90 minutes and missing his recess. He said and I quote” I did everything they asked and I was hungry- they can’t starve me as a punishment can they?” The reason she was blocking the door was that she was also punishing another student.

We we unsuccessful in appealing the suspension even though all agreed it was a manifestation of his disability.

However, I made sure that we had a very long in person meeting with all involved staff to hear their personal reports of what they saw, what action they took and how my child responded. All of this data is important to identify triggers, and it was also illuminating to have them describe their actions.

And you know there were several preparation meetings before they met with me to be sure their stories were straight. Of course they were inconsistent with the original reports.

And then I got to ask the question- what else could have been done in that situation? And in the next IEP meeting- we got to problem solve around those scenarios. The school-conducted FBA has come back with no behavior to manage.

I am sorry you all are going through this- it is tough.

My DS was 7, in second grade, when his school told us his behavior was unmanageable and that he may do better at a private SN school. DS was running out of the classroom, trying to run out of the school building, etc. and would kick, punch and scratch his SN teacher when she tried to stop him. Having meltdowns where DS refused to stay in the classroom and would sit out in the hallway, etc. DS has had an IEP since prek and a diagnosis for ASD so he could not be suspended but the school thought another placement could better meet his needs. Prior to 2nd grade, he was doing really well without behavioral issues. Academically, DS was ahead of grade level in all subjects.

We had DS scheduled for a neuropsych which found ADHD, combine type, and he was medicated. The school did a FBA/BIP and his Sp Ed teacher was replaced - it was found that she actually triggered his behaviors by her reactions. She had no prior experience as a Sp Ed teacher and this was her first year being one. Also, I filed a state complaint that DS's IEP was not being met which encouraged the school to figure out what was going on with DS. All DS misbehaviors disappeared within a week of the medication, FBA/BIP, and getting a new Sp Ed teacher in place.

This was in 2nd grade, DS is now in 5th without ever having behavioral issues again.

Good luck, OP!

My DS was about that age when he had an outburst with a paraprofessional. We got a call home.

A few years later we got a ADHD diagnosis. A few observations - for our child, when there were a lot of pressure to wrap things up such as the end of a marking period or before winter break, we had issues. It was only after a few of these were we able to see the pattern.

In school as there are teachers out sick this time of year, outside of routines with holiday performances, wrapping up the period, there is increased stress. Think about how you can help provide more down time and rest and healthy food. I only say this as a parent who now has a 11 year old and have enough data points.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.