Anonymous
Post 11/17/2017 16:48     Subject: Mother in law dating after losing husband
I think it's weird that its the handyman. She was his employer for years and now he is living with her. And why was he odd and creepy before but suddenly a great catch?
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2017 10:06     Subject: Mother in law dating after losing husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. She isn't my mother so I'm not overstepping and giving my two cents about most of this. I'm just letting some of the rawness defuse. I'm being nothing but nice to her.

About the swooping - my MIL's mother mentioned he has always had a crush on her and that my MIL has in the past called him "odd, weird". I am being 100% protective of her when I question how this relationship developed and why. She is a grown woman and I personally won't question her choices to her face.

My husband has made it no secret that he doesn't love this arrangement but it's her life and she can do what she wants. We aren't comfortable with a man we barely know coming and staying in our house.

"Family friend" is just an easy way to explain in a short paragraph but he's a handy man and did odd jobs around my in laws house for 20 years.


this seems to show that the man has actually liked your MIL for a long while and is not with her for the money - he truly likes her. after many many years she gave him a chance and it paid off. you all being so "protective" of an adult person seems like a cover for wanting her to suffer alone forever.

the whole "uncomfortable about man you don't know" is another totally ridiculous excuse, especially for visiting. it's your MIL's boyfriend. she should be allowed to bring him for a visit.


We can only draw conclusions from our own experiences. She's an adult but she acts like she's been through a traumatic experience - which she has. Her behavior is not that of a person who is ready for a relationship. She goes to work, comes home, drinks. That's basically it. She has gone on vacation once to Pennsylvania.

And no, he won't come and stay in our house for a week. I'm firm on that. I wouldn't be comfortable for my brother bringing a new gf over for a week either.


How old is your MIL, Op? She's still working and I'm sure that it was very hard for her to come home to an empty house every night and spend the evenings alone.

Your husband and his brother would probably hate any guy that she dated. They aren't ready to see her date so this guy can do no right in their eyes. This is more about your dh and his brother than it is about your MIL. Your MIL sounds as though she's doing the best she can with the cards that were dealt to her.

Anonymous
Post 11/17/2017 09:38     Subject: Mother in law dating after losing husband
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again, when he first passed away she confided in me that she didn't feel like living and just wanted to sit and do nothing. As much as my husband doesn't like her relationship, he isn't going to tell her what to do or cut her off. He adores his mom. He has a hard time balancing his feelings and her feelings. But it is really hurting him how torn his family is. I'm not sure we will ever all be together in the same room again.


It's your husband and his brother that are tearing the family apart. Not your MIL or her boyfriend.


Are you in the boyfriend?


What do you mean, am I in the boyfriend? Jesus, you can't even communicate clearly as you throw out your unintelligent insults.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2017 08:31     Subject: Mother in law dating after losing husband
Anonymous wrote:Can we not talk about "losing" people? They died. Losing them makes it sound like you can't find them in a crowd or something.


Wow, your post was enlightening and helpful.
Anonymous
Post 11/17/2017 07:59     Subject: Mother in law dating after losing husband
Keep a close eye on her by staying in her life. Good for her for moving on with her life, though.

How old is MIL? My FIL passed away when MIL was in her late 50’s. She still had many years ahead of her and started dating. Be glad your MIL has someone significant in her life.