Anonymous wrote:I recall joining high school here fresh off the boat from India. I was struck by how totally self assured, confident, assertive and independent my classmates were! In India, we focus on being subservient and respecting institutions and higher ups and older people. In high school here, the kids run the show!

How do Americans gain such confidence and independence?

There is a very thin line between confidence/independence and spoiled/out of control. Confident/independent kids would never run the show.

Anonymous wrote:American culture values more extroverted people, leaders, innovators, critical thinking, creativity. Therefore, children are raised and encouraged to speak up, share their opinions and criticisms, gain leadership experience, create instead of copy. All of this leads to confidence in one's self. I think in other countries introversion is more valued (I read the book Quiet: the Power of Introverts), speaking up is considered rude or disrespectful, kids are expected to absorb rather than invent or lead.

OP,

This is the answer.

I would add confident kids learn it is okay to make mistakes and are not beaten down for it.

I would add you only notice the confident ones. There are plenty of kids that are beaten down by their parents (aka are polite ones )

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:American culture values more extroverted people, leaders, innovators, critical thinking, creativity. Therefore, children are raised and encouraged to speak up, share their opinions and criticisms, gain leadership experience, create instead of copy. All of this leads to confidence in one's self. I think in other countries introversion is more valued (I read the book Quiet: the Power of Introverts), speaking up is considered rude or disrespectful, kids are expected to absorb rather than invent or lead.

Not sure about that. I am an extrovert and took the myers brigg test multiple times and still an extrovert but I prefer my dogs and home to a weekend of drinking and parties while my introvert bf hates dry parties and is very sociable at his job and everywhere else though he claims he is shy but he tested as introvert multiple times as well. So I am shy as an extrovert and he is loud as an introvert.

Meyers Briggs is testing for the workplace dynamic that allows you to achieve at your highest level. By introvert they mean that you can achieve best on your own whereas extroverts achieve best in a group dynamic. It doesn't translate to social situations.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are taught to show respect to their elders, just as I was. I do not care if all of the kids around them feel entitled, mine will not grow up this way. Not all American kids are like this. Some of us teach our children about respect, hard work, values, and that nothing is free in this life. My kids do what I say when I say because I am in charge, not them. My 12 yr old wants to go into the military. I told him the time to start learning that type of discipline is now. By the time he's 18 he'll be well on his way to being a model soldier. I have lived a hard life. I do not expect my children to get off with living a soft one. Life IS hard.

So, because YOU had a hard life, now your kids have to have one too? Great parenting.

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Anonymous wrote:What you think is confidence is really disrespectful behavior. That might be tolerated in urban areas but not where I come from. Never has, never will.

Manners seem to be disappearing, being vulgar taking it's place. Snowflakes need melting.

No, there's a difference between confidence and disrespect. I've read novels written in the 70s that also noticed this difference between American teens and European teens.

European teens can be just as "confident" and/or "disrespectful" as American teens. I've lived in Europe for years and seen it first hand.

Understand that there is little difference between europe amd america. America always tries to emulate europe so both cultures are mixed demographically and both are rich and rude. Was there not a long ass thread about rude europeans on here? Now when we talk about old fashioned developing countries that is different. The difference i saw was that even with no gun control at all there are no school shootings or adults being talked down or bitch slapped left and right. Do not compare to europe. One and the same to the us.

What the what? "America always tries to emulate Europe"? Umm.... nope. If we did, we'd have a country overrun by immigrants and refugees, like the UK, France, Germany, or Sweden. No thanks.

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Anonymous wrote:Because Americans are instilled from birth that they are exceptional simply because they're Americans.

I agree but it's so delusional as to actually be sad. Nothing exceptional about the US anymore (except in bad ways maybe).

I disagree. While the U.S. certainly has its flaws, so does every other country in the world. I've traveled extensively and enjoyed some of those countries; but would never want to be a citizen of any country other than the U.S. We are exceptional.

Whatever. Oh ??!

I have no idea what you just said.

OP, I see a lot of pretense of confidence. It is cool in America to be confident. A lot of girls (I don't know about boys much) do fake it. They look all cool, behave cool. But once you start knowing them better, you see all their fears, struggles, and insecurities. A lot of them are on meds for anxiety. I actually finding those quiet kids of Indian descent more confident than American kids. I just met one who is a recent graduate from the engineering school in Ivy. If you just look at her first, she might appear as very quiet, shy little girl who looks younger than her age. Once you start talking to her about more complex staff, you will be surprised how confident is she.

Is this shit getting anyone into TJ?

Anonymous wrote:What you think is confidence is really disrespectful behavior. That might be tolerated in urban areas but not where I come from. Never has, never will.

Manners seem to be disappearing, being vulgar taking it's place. Snowflakes need melting.

And this is exactly what I observed at my DD’s new school where I recently volunteered as chaperone.

Hated? By whom? International Nobodies who wish they were American? They hate us because they’re envious. If you know any, tell them to stop whining and get on a plane or boat or train and come over and be one of us. It’s not that hard to get here.

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Anonymous wrote:You're confusing entitlement with confidence.

Why shouldn’t they be entitled? American exceptionalism is legit, and proven time and again. Chicks around the world dig our brands and twitter followers and kardashians, and guys around the world want to be like us. Of course they’re entitled. They’re born to rule.

Yes that is why we are hated but the kardashian culture is also why morality and values have gone to shit.

Anonymous wrote:You're confusing entitlement with confidence.

Why shouldn’t they be entitled? American exceptionalism is legit, and proven time and again. Chicks around the world dig our brands and twitter followers and kardashians, and guys around the world want to be like us. Of course they’re entitled. They’re born to rule.

It's in he Constitution: America where all people are created "interesting." (or at least they think they are.).

Anonymous wrote:American culture values more extroverted people, leaders, innovators, critical thinking, creativity. Therefore, children are raised and encouraged to speak up, share their opinions and criticisms, gain leadership experience, create instead of copy. All of this leads to confidence in one's self. I think in other countries introversion is more valued (I read the book Quiet: the Power of Introverts), speaking up is considered rude or disrespectful, kids are expected to absorb rather than invent or lead.

Not sure about that. I am an extrovert and took the myers brigg test multiple times and still an extrovert but I prefer my dogs and home to a weekend of drinking and parties while my introvert bf hates dry parties and is very sociable at his job and everywhere else though he claims he is shy but he tested as introvert multiple times as well. So I am shy as an extrovert and he is loud as an introvert.

Anonymous wrote:UMC Americans, you mean? Simple. Entitlement.

UMC?