Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH did get extremely fat. I could hardly stomach having sex with him. The wonderful thing about being a heterosexual female is that you can tell your partner "You are fat lose weight and then I'll start have sex with you again". My husband didn't like my message, but he wasn't mortally wounded by reality, so he lost 80lbs and looks even better than the day we married and we now have a healthy sex life. It's nice to be married to a desireable man who is motivated to be, and remain healthy.

No way in hell a heterosexual man could say that to his wife without utterly crushing her spirit and confidence.

Yup, which is exactly why I'm so glad I'm a heterosexual woman. I would never ever be able to deal with the hypersensitivities of most women. Of course there are exceptions on both sides.

My DH wanted sex, i wanted the fit man i first married back in order to want to have sex. He took that seriously, double downed and i got a man hotter and harder than the one I married. He's not complaining now.

Anonymous wrote:It's a turn-off. My DH has always been overweight, but when we dated/got married I was trying to be a good person and not make my romantic decisions based on looks. We had okay sex back when we were dating, but there was never really any intense attraction or chemistry.

Now I'm not really attracted at all and have little interest in sex. And as a PP stated, it's also about the behavior around being fat. Anytime we go to a restaurant he asks for the largest item on the menu and I watch him wolf down the entire thing. It's disgusting. He also sits around all day doing nothing, which is a huge turn-off. I work really hard to maintain the body I had in my 20s, it's frustrating that he won't do the same. To make things worse, I recently ran into an ex who had the most incredible body I'd ever seen when we dated, and it's gotten even better. The guy was nuts, but I miss being that attracted to someone.

There are a lot of positives in our relationship, and we certainly won't get divorced over it, but what I wouldn't do to run my hands over a six pack again!

Women should get to have two men - one for stability and one for physical chemistry! Its not possible to have everything in one person.

It's a turn-off. My DH has always been overweight, but when we dated/got married I was trying to be a good person and not make my romantic decisions based on looks. We had okay sex back when we were dating, but there was never really any intense attraction or chemistry.

Now I'm not really attracted at all and have little interest in sex. And as a PP stated, it's also about the behavior around being fat. Anytime we go to a restaurant he asks for the largest item on the menu and I watch him wolf down the entire thing. It's disgusting. He also sits around all day doing nothing, which is a huge turn-off. I work really hard to maintain the body I had in my 20s, it's frustrating that he won't do the same. To make things worse, I recently ran into an ex who had the most incredible body I'd ever seen when we dated, and it's gotten even better. The guy was nuts, but I miss being that attracted to someone.

There are a lot of positives in our relationship, and we certainly won't get divorced over it, but what I wouldn't do to run my hands over a six pack again!

Fit DH here. I'll always try to stay fit (for myself first, of course) because I want her to be attracted to me and want her to WANT sex with me. Every marriage works a little differently but the sex in ours has always been one of the ways that we stay connected and close to each other.

He's overweight. He has thyroid issues. I am not as attracted to him as when he was thin, but still attracted to him.

Anonymous wrote:I used to be thin. I'm not any more. Chicks dug me back in the day. Guess what, they still do. It may not be as universal as it was but I'm not wanting in any way.

How over weight are you? Are you single or married? Are you richer now than when you were thin?

Anonymous wrote:DH did get extremely fat. I could hardly stomach having sex with him. The wonderful thing about being a heterosexual female is that you can tell your partner "You are fat lose weight and then I'll start have sex with you again". My husband didn't like my message, but he wasn't mortally wounded by reality, so he lost 80lbs and looks even better than the day we married and we now have a healthy sex life. It's nice to be married to a desireable man who is motivated to be, and remain healthy.

No way in hell a heterosexual man could say that to his wife without utterly crushing her spirit and confidence.

DH and I met when we were 14. At 14, I was athletic. He was tall and scrawny. By Sr year, I was still athletic and he had filled out and was playing football.

By Sr year of college we had both gained the freshman 15 plus some. Neither of us were as physically active as we were in HS.

15 years later we had our first child. We needed help and I went on fertility meds that had a lovely side effect of weight gain. It took 4 rounds to conceive. Each round added more weight to me. He was now working a desk job and we had a pretty sedentary life.

We had a second child and I still had the weight from the first pregnancy. I BF both kids so now in addition to being heavier than when we first met at 14, I had sad droopy boobs.

If you look at him, you see a middle aged, balding man with a beer gut and age spots on his hands. If you look at me you see a tired woman with no boobs, crows feet, and a bit of belly fat. I've lost most of the baby weight but I'm not back to HS weight.

When we see each other, we still see the young kids we were when we met at 14. Sex is still good.

For me it would depend on DH's mentality. A lot of fat men I know literally just sit around watching tv and eating unhealthy food. Laziness is way more unattractive to me that a little pudge.

Anonymous wrote:DH did get extremely fat. I could hardly stomach having sex with him. The wonderful thing about being a heterosexual female is that you can tell your partner "You are fat lose weight and then I'll start have sex with you again". My husband didn't like my message, but he wasn't mortally wounded by reality, so he lost 80lbs and looks even better than the day we married and we now have a healthy sex life. It's nice to be married to a desireable man who is motivated to be, and remain healthy.

You are lucky!!

DH did get extremely fat. I could hardly stomach having sex with him. The wonderful thing about being a heterosexual female is that you can tell your partner "You are fat lose weight and then I'll start have sex with you again". My husband didn't like my message, but he wasn't mortally wounded by reality, so he lost 80lbs and looks even better than the day we married and we now have a healthy sex life. It's nice to be married to a desireable man who is motivated to be, and remain healthy.

My DH was fat when we met. Our relationship was excellent, along with our sex life. 17 years later, he's trimmed down considerably. Our relationship and sex life are still excellent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had sex with a fat man and I don't think I'd like it.

Never know til your try.

Knowing this place, she doesn't really like it with anyone.

Anonymous wrote:Never had sex with a fat man and I don't think I'd like it.

Never know til your try.

Henry VIII as an example that FAT=POWER before modern history is erroneous and a really bad example. He was well known as a trim, fit, and physically gifted prince and King. He played tennis competitively amongst his court and was by all acknowledgements - a good warrior. So he was well sought out by women who enjoyed his bed. He became obese after a jousting match which severely crippled his leg and led to painful re-occurring incidents of gout for the rest of his life.

In simple terms he became fat because he couldn't walk properly left alone play tennis and joust well after that incident.