Anonymous wrote:It's interesting. My husband came from money, and we've had some help, but mostly we live a typical middle class lifestyle. Both work, drive the same cars for 15+ years, I wear modest diamond rings, handed down from both our grandmothers.
You wouldn't suspect the trust we have, and I think that's probably a good thing. I'm concerned for our safety. I want my kids to look neat and my home nice, but I don't want to draw too much attention. There's a lot of unrest these days. I get nervous.

So what about country clubs? Do your children swim at the YMCA or a posh country club which you call a pool not too far away from our house?

I do at work. I make 80k in management at a small company. DH brings in $300k+ a year. So, my HHI is much higher than my similarly paid peers and higher paid superiors (superiors are generally 1 income households). I generally nod and keep quiet when there is discussion over small costs (tolls, starbucks) that I don't think twice about. I don't want to be shortchanged for raises and bonuses because they think I don't need it.

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Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

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Anonymous wrote:Boxster is the poor man Porsche. I'm sure you get excited about you 1 series BMW too

PP here. I could afford to buy a 911 but I prefer the look of the Boxter. What's it to you?

Nothing but you're lame and know nothing about cars.

Thank you PP, it is exactly that- paternalistic and degrading. You look down on the poor because you have millions but you look down on the rich too? if you have money you don't want donate it. Otherwise you are just working and scrimping and saving so that your kids can be more privalaged than you. It makes no sense to me.

Some of these posts are hysterically out of touch. Not putting pictures of your expensive cars or handbags on Facebook doesn't mean you play down your wealth. When you show up to hang out and have these things, it's still flashy.

I grew up poor but am now well off. I drive an old pickup, buy clothes at Sam's, and don't dress well at all. I do have a decent handbag I bought at 75% off. Modest house, etc. I don't think we "downplay" our wealth at all....I don't do it because I care what others think, I do it because I don't care about those things.

I spend a lot of money on travel and my hobby. I don't try to hide this stuff. I travel modestly too, though because I think fancy hotels are a waste of money. I guess I just don't appreciate the "finer things".

And as a person who used to be poor, it's paternalistic and degrading to pretend you live like the poor when you have a Porsche or BMW or McMansion. No one cares about your stuff but you, and you are making way too big of a deal about this. Get more comfortable in your skin. Live in a way you are comfortable with others observing, or you are flashy.

Anonymous wrote:Boxster is the poor man Porsche. I'm sure you get excited about you 1 series BMW too

+1

We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

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Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???

H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.

Those aren't rich people cars. My neighbor has a Maserati and a Rolls. I would never think you were wealthy unless you drove a high end car like a Maybach or Aston Martin.

Haha yeah they're totally middle class with over 100k worth of car sitting in the driveway

Just like me and my 20k civic.

We have 100k of cars in the driveway, 2 cars worth 50k and we are middle class. You are crazy.

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Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???

H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.

Those aren't rich people cars. My neighbor has a Maserati and a Rolls. I would never think you were wealthy unless you drove a high end car like a Maybach or Aston Martin.

Haha yeah they're totally middle class with over 100k worth of car sitting in the driveway

Just like me and my 20k civic.

We have 100k of cars in the driveway, 2 cars worth 50k and we are middle class. You are crazy.

Anonymous wrote:Boxster is the poor man Porsche. I'm sure you get excited about you 1 series BMW too

PP here. I could afford to buy a 911 but I prefer the look of the Boxter. What's it to you?

Boxster is the poor man Porsche. I'm sure you get excited about you 1 series BMW too

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Anonymous wrote:Yes. Obvious example is when our cars are pictured in the background of photos, I don't post them to FB. it feels too much like bragging. I would also never post photos that include my luxury brand Gand bags, unlike some try hards I know.

Really? What kind of cars do you have that would make people think you are bragging???

H has an Audi s6 and a Porsche Baxter S and I have a Lexus GX.

Dude, you don't qualify. You are the epitome of obnoxious "look at me! look at me!" wealth, otherwise you wouldn't have bought a Porsche. Show yourself out.

NP. What's wrong with Porshes? I personally love the look of the boxters. It looks like a fun car to drive on the weekends when the weather is nice.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you not have a cleaning lady if you had millions? I own my house outright and drive inexpensive cars, but why would I want to spend all my time cleaning my house? How would anyone even know whether I had one and don't most people who can afford one have one?

I don't trust anyone to clean my house as carefully as me. Last time I employed a cleaning lady, she scratched my new 3k table. I wanted to kill her.