There are a lot of people who are happy and healthy who don't need people around to feel happy. Considering them to be defective in some way and attempting to diagnose them only highlights your bias.

OP, should your husband try to diagnose you to discover why you have such an unhealthy need for friendship? It is odd to my that you need so may people around in order for you to feel happy. Maybe you should visit a therapist.

Anonymous wrote:My dad was like that. Worked and read and did yard work. Finally drove my mother crazy.

The children believe he has Asperger's. Might that apply to your fiancé? Or is he just an extreme introvert?

My husband is like that. My friend casually mentioned Aspergers to me. I jokingly mentioned it to him and he said he thinks so. He had done research on his own. I was shocked but it makes sense to me and I accept his antisocial behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is who he is. He is comfortable with who he is. It's a red flag only in that you want him to change and be something he is not.

OP here- I don't want him to change but it just confuses me as to why someone would be okay with no friends. I just think he'd love having a buddy to go grab a beer with or go fishing with or whatever.

have you asked him point blank, and what does he say?

Op here- he just says that it's how he's always been. He's worked full-time since he was 17. His parents aren't the best people so he's always took care of himself and just worked so never really had the time for friends.

I'm not sure how social I would feel after working a 60 hour week. I'd probably just want to relax.

[b wrote:Anonymous]I don't want to change him. I just wish he were different[/b].

Made me laugh!

Anonymous wrote:On today's episode of " Why is a completely different person not exactly like me?" ....

Well, you could say that about anything, really. Doesn't make it not worth being worried about.

On today's episode of " Why is a completely different person not exactly like me?" ....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is who he is. He is comfortable with who he is. It's a red flag only in that you want him to change and be something he is not.

OP here- I don't want him to change but it just confuses me as to why someone would be okay with no friends. I just think he'd love having a buddy to go grab a beer with or go fishing with or whatever.

have you asked him point blank, and what does he say?

My dad was like that. Worked and read and did yard work. Finally drove my mother crazy.

The children believe he has Asperger's. Might that apply to your fiancé? Or is he just an extreme introvert?

Anonymous wrote:

Keep in mind someone without the social skills to make friends is probably not going to advance at work very well, where lifelong earnings are almost always based off of EQ.


Completely depends on the field.


For the vast majority of fields this applies.

Not engineering, that's for sure.

Definitely not. Nor lighthouse keeper. But for most other fields- it does.

Maybe you can encourage him to make a new friend or two, maybe through work or at the gym. Making friends is an art, he just has to learn it. Tell him to ask some guy coworkers out for a beer and to watch a game one day after work or the gym.

Keep in mind someone without the social skills to make friends is probably not going to advance at work very well, where lifelong earnings are almost always based off of EQ.


Completely depends on the field.


For the vast majority of fields this applies.

Not engineering, that's for sure.

Maybe he's INTJ.

I am, and I don't have a lot of friends.

Doesn't help that the friends I do have are also busy with kids.

I have a guy friends I socialize with at work, but after work it's pretty much all kids, all the time.