Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully for everyone's sake someone will step up and do the right thing to make peace among these girls. They should meet, express their feelings, apologize where apologies are needed, hug and move on.

I can't quite figure out if this is a serious suggestion or not - I can't quite believe it is. Why on earth should they hug and move on? I'd vote for agree to treat each other with more kindness and certainly civility, probably continue disliking each other, and move on. (But I'm of the philosophy that it really is okay for kids to not like or be friends with everyone at their school - they have to be kind, civil, and treat others with respect, but that's all that's required.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully for everyone's sake someone will step up and do the right thing to make peace among these girls. They should meet, express their feelings, apologize where apologies are needed, hug and move on.

I can't quite figure out if this is a serious suggestion or not - I can't quite believe it is. Why on earth should they hug and move on? I'd vote for agree to treat each other with more kindness and certainly civility, probably continue disliking each other, and move on. (But I'm of the philosophy that it really is okay for kids to not like or be friends with everyone at their school - they have to be kind, civil, and treat others with respect, but that's all that's required.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mean girls - I thought an elite school who prides itself for emphasizing on leadership, public service, and character cultivation would not produce such graduates. I am so naive and disappointed. By self-selection, more kind girls will be less likely to attend such a school, more mean-spirited girls would flourish there. Hence a vicious cycle.

Let's see how all of this evolve...

These things happen at all schools. Some of this is happening at STA lower school. Boys don't tell but I wish they would tell more. Some of this in rising 7th grade in texts and just mean behavior. Purposely telling other boys not to talk to or invite certain boy to things. The perpetrators were all in the same homeroom class this year. They purposely ignore certain boys. Behavior equally as bad as this.

Wow! We're in DCPS so this whole thread is pretty exotic to me especially if the texting happened off-campus or outside of school hours. Good for you if you can use the school to pressure the families. That's not an option everywhere.

It should be the option. It says in the STA and NCS handbook that you must abide by the honor code on and off campus, which is why some kids get suspended or what not when drinking off of campus, because it still goes against the honor code. All schools should implement these rules regardless whether they happens in or outside of school because it it affects school life during the day. If a student doesn't feel comfortable going to school or feeling left out or whatnot, that affects their studies and how well they do.

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully for everyone's sake someone will step up and do the right thing to make peace among these girls. They should meet, express their feelings, apologize where apologies are needed, hug and move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If we leave the school name out of it maybe the thread won't be deleted this time

Seems like the OP got some good information. Not sure why a school would need to be named.

This thread/topic has been posted multiple times this week but keeps getting deleted. (Maybe not the same OP) folks need to take cyber bullying seriously and I hate to see this info disappear because the school involved gets named

Let's not name the name because it does keep getting deleted and I fear the discussion will end as a result. This particular issue was of a girl who was about to go to this new school in the fall. There were over 10 girls involved in making horrible comments about her, etc. The parents have lawyer-ed up and have told the school that they will sue if the school says anything to anyone. Some of the problem girls are going to other schools in the fall and so they have already "graduated" and are beyond the "arm of the law" so to speak. But the parents of the girls who are staying are already threatening to withhold donations, etc. and seem to have a stronghold on the leadership of the school. The board has signaled they expect severe consequences, but ultimately this is a matter for the administration to deal with and, unfortunately, they have not dealt with all the prior instances of similar acts for years....it has been building and building and there is zero leadership. Plus the parents of these girls who were part of this are more concerned with who "leaked" and having to be called in for questioning. It's completely out of control!

Anonymous wrote:Changing schools does not stop cyber bullying! I have seen messages sent to friends at the new school from the bully at the old school saying horrible disgusting things (not my child, but her close friend)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You sounded reasonable and sane until your last statement. The girl who sent the screenshots would not be "bullying" the victim. She would "tattling" on her fellow gossips.

Yeah, let's not go giving the screen shot taker too much credit. If she had really been concerned about the meanness of the conversation among her friends she would have taken a screen shot and showed it to her parents, a teacher, a counselor, or some other trusted adult. Instead, she sent it to a classmate of the current victim; there's really no logic to that beyond wanting to stir up more trouble. And haven't we all known someone like that...you know, the type who says things like, "I would never say this, of course, but you know I've heard some other people saying x, y, and z awful thing about you [or a friend or whomever]. Of course I wouldn't do it, but I just thought you should know...."

This. In fact, her actions may be worse than the actions of the gossipy mean girls.

Begging the question of what the school in question should have already done or be doing, the school needs to move quickly and firmly to bring in someone to tackle the relational aggression between the girls. The new school year needs to start with an action plan in place and then they need to follow through with it. This is not a problem that will go away, even if one or two of the 'mean girls' leaves and even if the 'victim' does not matriculate to the school. At this point it sounds as though the behavior has institutionalized. It will be no small task to

Those schools accepting the one or two 'mean girls' who are rumored to be leaving need to be ready to act to forestall and ameliorate any problems that can be easily anticipated even from this great distance.

"ready to act to forestall and ameliorate any problems"

Holy cow!! It was a group chat, right? It's certainly cause for a conversation between the girls and their parents about what is acceptable behavior and the effects of their actions on others but I doubt the new schools are going to need special programs to deal with them.

Anonymous wrote:the current 8th grade at NCS has many mean girls, many applied out and are leaving. The head of school cares zero percent about bullying. The old MS head left 2 or 3 years ago and she was wonderful and cared a good deal and did not tolerate bullying. I would call the director of admissions, dean of students and MS/US heads and demand a meeting. bring the photographic evidence. NCS expands a good deal in 9th grade and it expands with mostly nice, smart, diverse students...not the blonde 4th grade admit dumb chevy girls. there is hope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mean girls - I thought an elite school who prides itself for emphasizing on leadership, public service, and character cultivation would not produce such graduates. I am so naive and disappointed. By self-selection, more kind girls will be less likely to attend such a school, more mean-spirited girls would flourish there. Hence a vicious cycle.

Let's see how all of this evolve...

These things happen at all schools. Some of this is happening at STA lower school. Boys don't tell but I wish they would tell more. Some of this in rising 7th grade in texts and just mean behavior. Purposely telling other boys not to talk to or invite certain boy to things. The perpetrators were all in the same homeroom class this year. They purposely ignore certain boys. Behavior equally as bad as this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You sounded reasonable and sane until your last statement. The girl who sent the screenshots would not be "bullying" the victim. She would "tattling" on her fellow gossips.

Yeah, let's not go giving the screen shot taker too much credit. If she had really been concerned about the meanness of the conversation among her friends she would have taken a screen shot and showed it to her parents, a teacher, a counselor, or some other trusted adult. Instead, she sent it to a classmate of the current victim; there's really no logic to that beyond wanting to stir up more trouble. And haven't we all known someone like that...you know, the type who says things like, "I would never say this, of course, but you know I've heard some other people saying x, y, and z awful thing about you [or a friend or whomever]. Of course I wouldn't do it, but I just thought you should know...."

This. In fact, her actions may be worse than the actions of the gossipy mean girls.

Begging the question of what the school in question should have already done or be doing, the school needs to move quickly and firmly to bring in someone to tackle the relational aggression between the girls. The new school year needs to start with an action plan in place and then they need to follow through with it. This is not a problem that will go away, even if one or two of the 'mean girls' leaves and even if the 'victim' does not matriculate to the school. At this point it sounds as though the behavior has institutionalized. It will be no small task to

Those schools accepting the one or two 'mean girls' who are rumored to be leaving need to be ready to act to forestall and ameliorate any problems that can be easily anticipated even from this great distance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You sounded reasonable and sane until your last statement. The girl who sent the screenshots would not be "bullying" the victim. She would "tattling" on her fellow gossips.

Yeah, let's not go giving the screen shot taker too much credit. If she had really been concerned about the meanness of the conversation among her friends she would have taken a screen shot and showed it to her parents, a teacher, a counselor, or some other trusted adult. Instead, she sent it to a classmate of the current victim; there's really no logic to that beyond wanting to stir up more trouble. And haven't we all known someone like that...you know, the type who says things like, "I would never say this, of course, but you know I've heard some other people saying x, y, and z awful thing about you [or a friend or whomever]. Of course I wouldn't do it, but I just thought you should know...."