Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - id give them the benefit of the doubt except the party was at a playspace where everything was organized by the venue. Yes plus, they invited us over in advance, and presumably knew that there wouldn't be food for adults at the party so what were they planning to eat? It's just weird.

Come on, dude! Even if it's organized by the venue, it still takes mental energy and focus to make sure everything goes smoothly, everyone is doing ok, the parent who knows no one is introduced around, etc. If you really wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, you would! You asked if you were wrong in thinking it was "really bad form..." and my opinion is yes, you are wrong in thinking that. They should've had food but it's not "really bad form." You shouldn't have asked if you didn't want to know! I'm guessing you don't much care for your SIL.

My SIL tends to be thoughtless and self-centered but today took it to a new level. I was the parent who knew no one and wasn't introduced to anyone, and the party was run by the staff at the location. Sure it takes some planning on her part but inviting someone to your home should as well. Dh wasn't there today and I just told him what happened and he was appalled that they did that, and he quite often takes her side on things (he grew up being the peacemaker in his family), and said I should've left and brought the kids home stopping for food on the way. The reasons I didn't were A they'd been in the car for over 2 hours already and they wanted to play with their cousins. He got that and is really annoyed at his sister.

Oh well... I won't be going there again without a plan for eating decent meals at normal times.

So you don't like your SIL. End rant.

I think it's bad form to have guests over and offer them nothing. Even if they just came from a party where food was served, I would still at least ask if they were hungry or offer something. But that's just me.

I had this happen a couple of years ago. We went to visit my husband's cousin in CT (drove from NYC though). I was 5 months pregnant and we were going around lunch time. I asked if we would eat lunch with his cousin+family and he said yes. We got there and there was 0 food. We literally stayed in their house for 4 hours and the only things we were offered were these mini cupcakes (a tray of 6 for 5 people). I was starving by the time we left at 6pm and we went straight to a pizza place a few blocks away from their house. I would never ever treat guests like that. In my family, you always offer food/drinks or at least coffee/tea with snacks.

Hell to the no am I cooking another meal after I just got back from hosting a kiddie party. If anything, I'm cracking a bottle of wine and putting my feet up.

I have invited people to come over after a party. I serve cake and pizza at the party for adults and kids along with a fruit tray and veggie tray and usually some other popcorn and chip type munchies. I assume you ate what I supplied as the party host. Back at the house I may put out the leftover fruit and veggies, but that's it. I'm not planning on providing another meal after hosting a kids birthday party with plenty of food. That makes no sense. If your kids are hungry I'll likely offer a granola bar or some fruit, but I'm not planning on cooking for them.

It sounds like you were looking for anything wrong and couldn't wait to complain about their hosting skills. You sound like a miserable sil!! You went there looking for it, starting from they didn't introduce you properly, fed the kids at the wrong time and on and on.

I don't get it. Why is this a six-page thread? What's the big deal? Why do you need to judge people if they forgot to have more food at home? Why would you even think twice about it? Someone brings food in, people eat. The end.

Yea, I think pizza at 4:45 counts as dinner, it's your kids issue that they didn't eat then. You could have shortened your visit a little and hit a drive thru on the way home if they were really on the brink of starvation...

I have no idea why you needed to ask to order food. And her family's dinner plans aren't any of your concern. If it was my family, my kids' dinner was the pizza at 4:45 and I'd be doing a snack for myself after bedtime.

Social occasions are about being with people you like, and if you like a person you aren't judgmental.

My ILs are all about the food. Every event has to have a massive spread. There are 2 unfortunate consequences of that. First is that my nieces and nephews are quite overweight. Second is that no one wants to host anything anymore because it's such a production. So I'd be grateful to hang out with family that doesn't require a ham, a vat of mac n cheese, and massive desserts.

It was a combo of bad host/bad guest. They cancel each other out. Therefore all is right in the world and you can move on, Op.

Yes, she is guilty of not having adequate snacks on hand - cheese, meat and fruit tray would do. And Op is guilty for expecting a full meal to be served directly after the party.

I would never attend a kiddie party and then get bent out of shape if the host invited me over after the party and failed to serve me a proper meal.

Let's see - - - there was pizza

Op, you are a bad guest because you are looking for reasons to complain. Wither go and don't complain, or don't go. Next time have snacks/water in your car. Though clearly you don't like these people much (you aren't a good friend), so please don't grace them with your presence.

Yes they were bad hosts. Once you invite someone to your house, it is up to you to make the people feel at home and at least have a snack and water available at all times whether you are coming from pizza or a big meal in a restaurant. I always have at least some cheese and crackers and fruit available for guests expected or unexpected.

Yeah they messed up and that would annoy me too. Now you know to plan for your own meal when you go to their house next time, just in case. Or maybe just don't go? They don't sound like they're capable hosts.