Anonymous wrote:Men over 40 in tinder or any of these sites at all, no matter what they look like or how successful they are, have one thing on their mind. You don't know who they really are. I have found out. If they are really single. .if their names are really their names, even if you go on a date with them, every thing they are telling you, is a lie, and they have a wife across town waiting on them. Or they want to get on cams. Dominate you. Then their are those that even pretend at the whole Master/Sub thing. They are going thru the change of life. I know fron personal experience. I caught my husband doing all of it. He said he was 40 and he's 49. . Not married. Ha! Used a different name. A different town, wanted cams, dominate. Ladies ...... BEWARE

Um. That is how your husband is. Not every guy. Yikes!

I have met some nice guys on Tinder. The longest I have dated someone was 7 months. I have been dating someone I met on Bumble for a year.

48 YO DH here. Met wife on Tinder in 2017, we married late 2019 (I was 44, she 38), have a daughter now, life is good. We lived two blocks from each other in DC but never would have met if not for the apps. Met my prior girlfriend (2.5 year relationship) on Tinder as well (great woman, it just wasn't going to work out for us).

All of this talk of hookup only culture seems off, I know other solid relationships formed on the apps. If you have a decent IQ, it's pretty easy to screen out people who aren't looking for serious relationships / are crazy. Occasionally you end up sitting through a drink with one of them because your online filters didn't work, that's just a cost of doing business. But you should be able to suss out who someone is in person if you stop projecting your hopes/dreams/fantasies onto them.

I found that even the women I didn't click with romantically were mostly solid, interesting women with a lot going on. And I think, deep down, many people on the apps, men included, are ultimately look for love / marriage, despite what they might tell themselves.

Your odds will be good to find men. But, they tend to swipe on tons of women based on pics alone, so there is a high likelihood they won’t have actually read your profile and so they won’t really align with what you want.

It may be time to try incognito (paid option) on Bumble. Your profile will only be shown to men you’ve liked. So if there is a match, you’ve already seen them and feel their profile works for you. Tinder also has this, but if you’re looking to be more than a FWB, ONS, or long-term long-distance low-commitment casual girlfriend, try Bumble first.

I say this as a 47 yo who’s been on the apps a while.

I have more success with normal, sane men out in the wild, but there is also a lot of work there. Meaning, it takes several meetings before you find out that his kink won’t work for you/he holds life views that don’t work with yours/he’s still married/he’s planning to join a circus in a few months/he doesn’t like to kiss/he prefers women who bike instead of drive, where it’s pretty out in the open up front after a bit of texting online.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men over 40 in tinder or any of these sites at all, no matter what they look like or how successful they are, have one thing on their mind. You don't know who they really are. I have found out. If they are really single. .if their names are really their names, even if you go on a date with them, every thing they are telling you, is a lie, and they have a wife across town waiting on them. Or they want to get on cams. Dominate you. Then their are those that even pretend at the whole Master/Sub thing. They are going thru the change of life. I know fron personal experience. I caught my husband doing all of it. He said he was 40 and he's 49. . Not married. Ha! Used a different name. A different town, wanted cams, dominate. Ladies ...... BEWARE

Woman here. I don't understand why someone that prefers a form of dom/sub relationship is a negative? If they are upfront and open about it, you can make a choice. You don't have to partake.

Male here. Had a relationship with an attractive, smart woman in a high profile, high stress job. In the bedroom, she loved to play the sub role as it let her step entirely away from her IRL world.

Anonymous wrote:Men over 40 in tinder or any of these sites at all, no matter what they look like or how successful they are, have one thing on their mind. You don't know who they really are. I have found out. If they are really single. .if their names are really their names, even if you go on a date with them, every thing they are telling you, is a lie, and they have a wife across town waiting on them. Or they want to get on cams. Dominate you. Then their are those that even pretend at the whole Master/Sub thing. They are going thru the change of life. I know fron personal experience. I caught my husband doing all of it. He said he was 40 and he's 49. . Not married. Ha! Used a different name. A different town, wanted cams, dominate. Ladies ...... BEWARE

Woman here. I don't understand why someone that prefers a form of dom/sub relationship is a negative? If they are upfront and open about it, you can make a choice. You don't have to partake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After my divorce at 45 I used Tinder with great success. I wasn’t looking for a LTR, I just wanted to have fun. What really worked for me in my profile was being honest and saying I was interested in women in my age range and not young hotties. The level of interest was amazing because every 40 year old was happy to find someone their age and not a 60 year old.

There is a lot of truth to this. If you are a good looking and sane guy you can do very well focused on women your own age. I'm 43 and most of the guys I meet are 55 to 60 and while they are often very nice I really like guys around my age.

I do not agree. I have gone on dates with ages 26-45. I am 45 year old woman. No reason for me to date older. I am attractive and look younger.

Met my fiancee on Match. We are both late 50s empty-nesters. Similar lifestyles and interests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men over 40 in tinder or any of these sites at all, no matter what they look like or how successful they are, have one thing on their mind. You don't know who they really are. I have found out. If they are really single. .if their names are really their names, even if you go on a date with them, every thing they are telling you, is a lie, and they have a wife across town waiting on them. Or they want to get on cams. Dominate you. Then their are those that even pretend at the whole Master/Sub thing. They are going thru the change of life. I know fron personal experience. I caught my husband doing all of it. He said he was 40 and he's 49. . Not married. Ha! Used a different name. A different town, wanted cams, dominate. Ladies ...... BEWARE

Well gee you should have let him make videos of him dominating you at home and then he wouldn't have needed to go get young strange.

A bit scarry story

I know a COUPLE who is on Tinder and they claim to have had great success in finding women who want to be in some kind of triangle relationship. It's super weird. They're in Maryland so maybe that explains it.