Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think people who marry the wrong people or wind up divorced have problems of some sort?

Surely not being able to marry a compatible person you really love is a sign that you aren't in tune with your emotions or aren't very intelligent?

Are people who make good matches smarter, more stable etc than people who don't?

In my experience, the divorced people I know, there is always something off.

OP my policy is usually not to say anything negative posters on here but I am having a hard day so: f.... you you miserable cow.

And the horse you rode in on.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing except maybe you married too young.

I know a couple who had a good marriage until they were in their 70s-- and then the man decided that he wanted to live it up in his last few years before he died. Divorced his wife, started partying, married another woman who took him for a lot of money and dumped him after a couple of years. He then spent the next 15 years alone. He and his first wife are now in their 90s and get along at family functions.

So much for his "last years." Anyway, is there something wrong with the first wife? No. Is there something wrong with him? Maybe (at least that he acted poorly) but how could anyone predict that 60 years out? Life has a lot of twists and turns.

That I'm human? I certainly wasn't thinking with the wrong head when I chose her lmao

In my case? It says that I had unacknowledged (or poorly understood) family of origin issues. It says that I didn't see a healthy relationship modeled. It says that nobody ever gave me advice and that I was too proud to ask for it. It says that I was too soft-headed and made the decision with my heart rather than with my head (sorry, but marriage is a partnership, not a whirlwind romance and the head should get a veto). It says that I was too cowardly to leave once I realized that I had made a mistake.

It says that I'm human, not that there's something fundamentally wrong with me.

No but I do think that people who make broad generalizations about other people aren't very intelligent.
There are so many different reasons why marriages fail. Some people definitely married too young, ignored red flags, or settled for the wrong person. Many others divorce because their spouse or circumstances changed dramatically.
I used to think that people who divorced should have just worked harder at their marriages (especially if kids were involved). That was when I was happily married before mental illness and substance abuse turned my ex into someone I didn't recognize. We dated for 5 years before marriage, got married at age 30 and were married for 15 years before things fell apart.
I come from a very functional family of origin and by most measures would be considered quite intelligent. Sorry I don't fit your narrative on divorced people. I imagine most divorced people don't. Does it make you feel more secure to assume there is something wrong with those who divorce? Despite your ridiculous judgments, I hope you never have to go through some of the terrible things that many suffer in bad marriages. Please stop passing judgement on people like this. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.

"If you married the wrong person what does it say about you?"

Not a damn thing.

Anonymous wrote:You can't win them all. I've made a lot of good decisions.

Yup. Same here.