Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

There is a different type of stress associated with having too low of standards, too. Someone's too much is going to be someone else's too little.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Huh. I wonder why on earth that could be?
Why would teachers be pushing their students for better performance? Gosh, I never come on here and read post after post of which schools are acceptable. What exactly makes a school acceptable? Oh that's right! Test scores. Teachers are pushed to deliver, by administrators, pushed by parents.

It's the community and it starts in the home.

Think about this: When your kid can score a near-perfect score on a standardized test, get straight As, and partake in extracurriculars and STILL not be good enough for lots of colleges (unless, of course, you are the minority flavor of the year), the parents are feeling THAT pressure as well, especially ones that are financially less fortunate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have some friends whose kids go to Woodson. They've told me that the environment there is like a pressure cooker. Because the school is known for its high test scores, it's ingrained in the culture that it is very important that it be maintained. Test scores are everything.

That doesn't stand up to the logic test. If that were true, then schools like Langley, McLean, Madison, Oakton and others in the DMV area would also have a lot of suicides... but as far as I know, they don't. Something is going on. I suspect that when it happens once, there is a sense that it's a possibility for other kids. But, something needs to be done.

It's not just because they have a good test record. According to the students I've spoken with, it's the over the top culture of perfectionism and lofty standards, specific to Woodson's administration.

I do not doubt this. My daughter was brought to near emotional collapse at another FFX Cty school due to what she called, her inability to please staff and impossibly high standards. No matter what she did, no matter how high her grades were (and she was a straight A student), she felt as if they wanted her to do more and more and more. The administration of these high schools care only about their numbers it seems.

Anonymous wrote: My father committed suicide and that (the fact that they shouldn't be talked about) is absolutely not true. The culture dose recy, stigma and shame around suicides is not healthy at all. The best thing to do is talk about them IN CONTEXT--what a loss they are, how horrible is order those left behind, other options and choices. Also promote resources for help.

I'm sorry for yourr loss.

Very true. I heard an interesting interview about Kurt Cobain's suicide. A challenge of suicide is that it is contagious, and more so when there's a focus afterwards on method. Apparently Courteney Love's over the top seriously angry vocal wail at Kurt for having done this to her made his suicide different was that there was actually a statistically meaningful drop in suicides after his (as compared with measurable effects after other famous cases.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's easy to blame the parents but the schools where the student is for many hours a day, push push push the students, mainly for the teachers and especially the coaches jobs and egos.

Huh. I wonder why on earth that could be?
Why would teachers be pushing their students for better performance? Gosh, I never come on here and read post after post of which schools are acceptable. What exactly makes a school acceptable? Oh that's right! Test scores. Teachers are pushed to deliver, by administrators, pushed by parents.

It's the community and it starts in the home.

It doesn't matter how laid back you are at home. When you are in high school, even if you are looking only at state schools, grades matter. So when teachers dump too much homework on kids, it's going to impact even those who aren't from academically obsessed families. Add bullying that the school refuses to address, and that can create major stress for kids. Just because some parents demand crazy standards of the schools, doesn't mean they have to drag us all along with them with excessive homework and projects. It's not like they make it optional for those who would prefer less stress.

This is true. We are a laid back family. Dh and I graduated from Mason and work typical jobs. I am the first to say "eh...close enough" in most situations, and in our home we don't even care about grades as long as the kids are doing their work and trying, and yet my ds has literal panic attacks about homework and grades and tests and not being able to get into college. This is 100% coming from our schools, and I don't know how to stop the freight train. It would take everyone from preshoool to grad school plus parents working together.

In our house, school is a top priority for our kids. If one of our kids gets a low grade on a test or an assignment that is cause for concern because that indicates that they do not understand the material for some reason. We do what we can at home to help them - lots of times it's simply a matter of setting aside time for homework and improving study skills. It is actually way less stressful when the kids stay on top of things and nip problems in the bud before they have a chance to snowball into something insurmountable. Hopefully by the time they get into college, they will have a well rounded education and good study skills.

My heart goes out to the family and friends of this good young man. I feel for his teachers and peers. Such a tragic loss should not be compounded by blame.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We're at Fairfax HS. I'm glad that we are not in a pressure cooker environment.

It is naive to think that any FCPS (or MCPS) school is immune from these pressures; they are endemic to the region, and to upper middle class communities all over the country. But I understand that it comforts people to think that the problem is limited to a specific high school.


I agree. LCPS has the same issue. They've lost 2 this year and 4 the year before. There have been recent pushes to educate people on the issue, but the pressure filled, competitive lifestyle isn't going away any time soon.

It's not just the schools, people. Wake up! We are in and out of DC every five or six years. I can compare it to the many other places we have lived. It is a cancer that is endemic to the entire area. This shit starts at home. Unfortunately, it seeps into the lives of the kids with normal parents too. The reason? These hyper competitive, materialistic, power-driven parents are the ones demanding that the schools squeeze their kids till they burst.

Read this forum. It permeates nearly every thread. It's nauseating to those of us who can see it.

It sounds like you need to take a break from DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We're at Fairfax HS. I'm glad that we are not in a pressure cooker environment.

It is naive to think that any FCPS (or MCPS) school is immune from these pressures; they are endemic to the region, and to upper middle class communities all over the country. But I understand that it comforts people to think that the problem is limited to a specific high school.


I agree. LCPS has the same issue. They've lost 2 this year and 4 the year before. There have been recent pushes to educate people on the issue, but the pressure filled, competitive lifestyle isn't going away any time soon.

It's not just the schools, people. Wake up! We are in and out of DC every five or six years. I can compare it to the many other places we have lived. It is a cancer that is endemic to the entire area. This shit starts at home. Unfortunately, it seeps into the lives of the kids with normal parents too. The reason? These hyper competitive, materialistic, power-driven parents are the ones demanding that the schools squeeze their kids till they burst.

Read this forum. It permeates nearly every thread. It's nauseating to those of us who can see it.

Anonymous wrote:

We're at Fairfax HS. I'm glad that we are not in a pressure cooker environment.

It is naive to think that any FCPS (or MCPS) school is immune from these pressures; they are endemic to the region, and to upper middle class communities all over the country. But I understand that it comforts people to think that the problem is limited to a specific high school.