Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 14:24     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I met my husband when I was 25 ... he was in his first year of law school but it was right around the law bubble crash/economy crash so it wasn't a given he would get a big law job after law school. Knew he would have considerable law school debt (over $200K) but fell in love and got married. We got married right out of law school, I was making 50k and he didn't have a job yet and we both had a ton of grad school debt ($260k between the two of us).

Here we are almost 8 years later and he has a big law job (makes close to $300K) and I have a very flexible job making $60k and we have two kids. Life is good. But I married first for love and it has worked out nicely.


Would you have married him if he wasn't in law school?


PP here .. Yep! Actually knew him before he went to law school but reconnected later when he had started law school. I think is a misconception that people who go to law school all get big law cushy jobs. Most lawyers come out of law school with huge amounts of debt and don't have big law jobs.


Yeah another story of marrying when DH was making nothing and they married for love but now he takes in the bucks.

I love this obtuse variant: it's clear she wasn't interested when she first met him, but second time around he was in law school and she saw dollar signs. But she married for love.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 14:16     Subject: Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:No way.

But I also don't think I could marry someone whose parents expect supported. Money flows downhill. I can't believe you already support your parents!


This is a stupid post that comes from someone that has clearly been uber privileged.

Money doesn't usually flow downhill unless you are rich. My grandparents were not as wealthy as my parents, and my parents were not as wealthy as I am, they sacrificed a lot so I could go to college, and I will always be thankful to them for that and I will be there to support them when they can no longer work. This is the way it works for most people, each generation does better than the last, and often makes sacrifices for the next one.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 14:15     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I met my husband when I was 25 ... he was in his first year of law school but it was right around the law bubble crash/economy crash so it wasn't a given he would get a big law job after law school. Knew he would have considerable law school debt (over $200K) but fell in love and got married. We got married right out of law school, I was making 50k and he didn't have a job yet and we both had a ton of grad school debt ($260k between the two of us).

Here we are almost 8 years later and he has a big law job (makes close to $300K) and I have a very flexible job making $60k and we have two kids. Life is good. But I married first for love and it has worked out nicely.


Would you have married him if he wasn't in law school?


PP here .. Yep! Actually knew him before he went to law school but reconnected later when he had started law school. I think is a misconception that people who go to law school all get big law cushy jobs. Most lawyers come out of law school with huge amounts of debt and don't have big law jobs.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 14:12     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:I met my husband when I was 25 ... he was in his first year of law school but it was right around the law bubble crash/economy crash so it wasn't a given he would get a big law job after law school. Knew he would have considerable law school debt (over $200K) but fell in love and got married. We got married right out of law school, I was making 50k and he didn't have a job yet and we both had a ton of grad school debt ($260k between the two of us).

Here we are almost 8 years later and he has a big law job (makes close to $300K) and I have a very flexible job making $60k and we have two kids. Life is good. But I married first for love and it has worked out nicely.


Would you have married him if he wasn't in law school?
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 14:08     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
I met my husband when I was 25 ... he was in his first year of law school but it was right around the law bubble crash/economy crash so it wasn't a given he would get a big law job after law school. Knew he would have considerable law school debt (over $200K) but fell in love and got married. We got married right out of law school, I was making 50k and he didn't have a job yet and we both had a ton of grad school debt ($260k between the two of us).

Here we are almost 8 years later and he has a big law job (makes close to $300K) and I have a very flexible job making $60k and we have two kids. Life is good. But I married first for love and it has worked out nicely.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 14:07     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:Yes a big factor. Also, being responsible with money management and being ok with a wife that stayed home. It's worked out well.


+1 and 90k would have been totally fine. My husband was making 20k when we got married in grad school. The fact that he doesn't have savings is a concern. Is his young? Did he have a lot of student debt?
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 14:06     Subject: Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I guess none of us would marry another person who is a slacker. It is always a consideration what kind of life you will be able to have together.

In your situation, I would expect that you complain if you earn $250k and your fiancé $90k. If you earn so little, do not expect to marry a wealthy guy. The rich also want to marry rich.


My fiancé is not a slacker at all! He works a lot and takes his professional life very seriously. I am comparing my situation to my friends who were legal assistants and customer service reps before they married wealthy men and have gone the SAHM route. Now they talk to me about their houses and financial planners. I feel left out and sort of annoyed.


Then you should definitely find a man that is more similar to your friends' husbands. Because we know that in life and love the key to happiness is being able to keep up with the Joneses.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 14:01     Subject: Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
So many women are just awful, shallow horrible people.

No sagging!

No cellulite!
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 13:55     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

FWIW, we are both 28.


Earning 90k at 28 is very good, OP. What makes you so sure that his salary will not go up?
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 12:54     Subject: Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:It's just as easy to marry a rich man as a poor man.


If you're really hot looking, and fun. Otherwise no.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 12:18     Subject: Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
It's just as easy to marry a rich man as a poor man.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 11:46     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:If you want to marry for money, do it. Nothing wrong with that need or desire, just be honest. I have plenty of friends that would have NEVER married my spouse, I married him when he made 40 k a year. It sucked but I married for love. Yes it would be wonderful to be rich but honestly, I have every thing I need, he makes 160K now, I work part time because I need an outlet from kids/home. Life it good. A lot of my married for $ friends are miserable. Some are loving life. Its a crap shot.


It's not one or the other. You can marry for BOTH!
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 11:45     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I went on 4 dates with a woman when we were in law school. On the fourth date she told me that she wanted to SAHM. I told her that while I appreciated her honesty, I could not move forward with our relationship knowing her motives. I have not spoken to her since she dropped out.


Why the hell was she spending six figures for an education and a law school spot someone else could have used for a career? Even if I had a ton of money I wouldn't go for someone like that.


It's called backup plan. Lawyers are like realtors, always can get back into the market at some point if she wanted to.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 11:39     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Anonymous wrote:Basically for women who do not marry money, it does not end well.

I do not know a single woman who's husband does not make good money who is happy or comfortable.



Yeah but you know what's worse than being married to a guy you love (or at least once loved) who doesn't make enough money to shield you from a stressful life? Being married to a guy you always slightly disgusted you but who you thought was going to make enough money yet never pulled it off. That sucks.
Anonymous
Post 03/28/2017 11:26     Subject: Re:Do money factor into you marrying your husband?
Basically for women who do not marry money, it does not end well.

I do not know a single woman who's husband does not make good money who is happy or comfortable.