Anonymous wrote:He has been before... what is the issue this time? Husband and I go on solo vacations. Each year we both get one, then we get a couples vacation and then a family vacation. We have three under three! He just came back from his and I am planning mine for the winter. What is the issue?

You have three under three and have time and energy (on both ends) for solo vacations? Been there, done that, and I call bull shit.

Anonymous wrote:Male who has been to Thailand before, alone (well, without family.. met some friends there).

You people act like Thailand's GDP is 90% from the sex trade, and that's all there is. That's simply not the case. It's a crazy city (in a good way), with great food, pleasant weather, cheap shopping, and friendly people. I never took part in the sex trade, and it wasn't even that outward nor offered to me. I did to out to bars and nightclubs, but those were all "normal" places I guess. I guess there are certain streets and parts of town where this is on offer, but it's easy to just not end up there.

Think about it -- so many families and couples go to Thailand for vacation, especially Europeans. The Thais are very enterprising, and have lots for those people to do, and none of that involves the sex trade. Surely a male could also partake in those activities as well.

Yeah, suuure. I'm sure when your DH is texting his coworker all hours of the night it's because they are "just good friends" as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I go on such vacations. A blast of debauchery. If you don't want your DH to sleep around, don't let him go. There is little chance he won't partake if he's there alone.

Let's hope you are not sharing your disease souvenirs back here in the US. Pervert.

Don't be ignorant. You think you touch a hooker than it's game over?! I've been with 100s of these girls and I'm clean as a whistle. Proper planning and prevention is all you need to be relatively safe.

You are disgusting.

+1

And pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I go on such vacations. A blast of debauchery. If you don't want your DH to sleep around, don't let him go. There is little chance he won't partake if he's there alone.

Let's hope you are not sharing your disease souvenirs back here in the US. Pervert.

Don't be ignorant. You think you touch a hooker than it's game over?! I've been with 100s of these girls and I'm clean as a whistle. Proper planning and prevention is all you need to be relatively safe.

You are disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean solo, like alone? Or solo, like without the family but with other people?

I know a DH who did a golf trip to Thailand with buddies that was kind of a bucket list for them, so nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

A solo trip to a place like Thailand, where he's already been, would raise red flags to me. Tell him to go on a solo trip to Utah to hike through some mountains.

Ha! His golf balls weren't the balls that got played with on that trip! You got played.

It's not my DH, so that's pretty irrelevant, but they do an international golf trip every single year. Judging by the group, I'm almost certain that's all it was.

Why in the hell would someone fly around the world to golf in Thailand? There are so much better golf courses in other parts the world. It's a cover story for a boys only sex tour. You should enlighten the wives.

They had never been there. So they went. When they got back, they said the golfing wasn't great, so they won't be going back. I think it's within the realm of possibility that people go to Thailand for reasons other than the sex industry. If that weren't the case, I probably wouldn't know so many people who have honeymooned there.

OMG, this is hysterical. They traveled to the other side of the world for a guys trip to a place not exactly known for golfing to discover that the "golfing wasn't great?"

Eh. I went a few months ago to Thailand alone but I am a woman. Lots of reason why my dh didn't come so I am not concerned about the solo vacation thing. I would ask why Thailand but there are many many places in this world you can get cheap sex so if he is going to travel solo and wants to partake in this world, there isn't much you can do.

Permit him to spend a single night in the capital city playing chess.

What kind of men do you marry where this is actually a concern? And what does that say about you who, after all, said "yes"?

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not attracted to Asian women at all. He can go all he wants...

What about asian boys?

Male who has been to Thailand before, alone (well, without family.. met some friends there).

You people act like Thailand's GDP is 90% from the sex trade, and that's all there is. That's simply not the case. It's a crazy city (in a good way), with great food, pleasant weather, cheap shopping, and friendly people. I never took part in the sex trade, and it wasn't even that outward nor offered to me. I did to out to bars and nightclubs, but those were all "normal" places I guess. I guess there are certain streets and parts of town where this is on offer, but it's easy to just not end up there.

Think about it -- so many families and couples go to Thailand for vacation, especially Europeans. The Thais are very enterprising, and have lots for those people to do, and none of that involves the sex trade. Surely a male could also partake in those activities as well.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not attracted to Asian women at all. He can go all he wants...

Some male travelers don't go to Thailand for the women. The sex trade includes men and boys

Well, if it's the sex trade that all of you folk are concerned about I guess the only permissible DH solo vacations would be Vatican City (but you can't stay there so that's out) or Waziristan (but you can't get there so that's out. Maybe Antarctica. Be cause guess what? The sex trade runs rampant everywhere! You folks have just been blundered by the media that has focused on one scandalous area. Thailand. They don't focus on London. Or Paris. Or Rome. Or Florence. But the same shit happens there.

This whole thread reminds me of a golf vacation that my DH and his buddies took to the DR a few years back.

We both have always taken vacations away from each other. All my girlfriends talked about the beautiful women and the sex trade there. They told me that him going was not the issue - that him WANTING to go was the issue. When I mentioned it, DH showed me that the resort they were going to had one of the best golf courses in the world and he is crazy about golf. I was not hearing that and we argued for days. Finally, I realized that I was in no position to give "permission" to a grown man. To my knowledge, he had never betrayed me. Also, knowing how he feels about golf, I did not want to be the one to prevent him from playing a bucket list course. So...I gave him stern "behave or get beheaded" warning and sent him on his way. He liked it so much that WE went back for our next couples trip.

Now, I do not know much about Thailand although I have been to Vietnam, but I have heard rumors about the sex trade and have heard how the government is trying to crack down on foreign nationals who come there for sex tourism. But SE Asia is beautiful and the culture is unforgettable. So I would ask a lot of questions but I would likely go along with it.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is not attracted to Asian women at all. He can go all he wants...

Thats what eye lids are for.

Anonymous wrote:He has been before... what is the issue this time? Husband and I go on solo vacations. Each year we both get one, then we get a couples vacation and then a family vacation. We have three under three! He just came back from his and I am planning mine for the winter. What is the issue?

PP, did you not read any[i] of the thread after the original post? It's not just Thailand. He goes (apparently more than once) to countries well known for the sex trade. Read the post from the person who was in the Peace Corps and actually lived, not just vacationed, there. Everyone knows what the solo men are doing on these trips. Short of being some kind of avid devotee of Thai food and Vietnamese history, OP's husband is behaving very suspiciously.

OP, if you are still bothering to read this sad thread (and none sadder than the slime who is bragging about being with hundreds of hookers, and how he's still clean and healthy so it's all just fine --which may be exactly what your own husband thinks of himself):

Please, first and foremost for your own sake and your kids' sakes -- get yourself tested for every possible STD. Today. Do not wait. If you are clear, breathe a sigh of relief but don't think that your being clean means he is not having sex outside your marriage. If you do have an STD, of course, that is the end of the whole conversation: You tell him and you take the kids and go, and he either gets treatment for his own STD and sex addiction and maybe you stay with him, or you're entirely done.

Be sure you have immediate access to money that is entirely yours and not in his name or accessible to him. Enough that if you end up leaving quickly, you can access it right away for a hotel or travel to relatives, or other necessities if things blow up.

He very likely has well hidden any porn or e-mails/texts arranging hookups or inquiring about sex while overseas but you could search whatever is available to you. Yes, DCUM, come on here and blast me for "snooping" -- OP has every right because her DH's trips are beyond suspicious and she knows that.

Line up babysitting for the kids for tonight or the soonest time you can get your husband to sit down with you--if not tonight, ASAP. Make it a time when he can't say, "I've got to work from home for a while" or "I told so-and-so I'd meet him for a beer" or whatever. Ensure your kids are not in the house if at all possible.

Tell him that because he has been so very interested in Thailand, Vietnam, etc., you looked up those countries and now you realize they are all places well known for the sex trade. OP, do you think he'll get angry and storm out? Or instead, say he's hurt and upset and stay put but cry to you that he's so sad you don't trust him? Anticipate all the possible reactions. Tell him you're not accusing him, but you're asking him to talk to you about why he goes alone to these specific countries. If he spins out a story about loving the architecture and history -- call him on it. If he has actually shown a real interest in, say, the food and architecture and history of these places, and he pursues those aspects when he is here at home, that is a totally different story, and there is actually some hope his trips are about those interests and not for sex. But if you have never seen or heard from him any interest in these places or their cultures beyond these trips, that would be a huge red flag that these trips are sex tourism. I would tell him it's better if he tells you the truth now than if he is doing this and covers it up further. If he takes this proposed trip to Thailand, I would tell him the locks will be changed and his belongings on the street when he returns. The money for the Thailand trip could go toward STD testing first and serious therapy second.

OP, you need to have this talk but you also need to prepare yourself in advance for its not going well and for asking him to leave the home.