I have a question for this poster:
"And please don't blame his wife. Partners are NOT responsible for the behaviors of their spouse, ever. I have a husband with a mental disorder he refuses to treat, and I cannot be made responsible for his actions (don't worry, it's not sexual! He has severe ADHD and is chronically late for everything, misses important deadlines and has anger issues. I can't physically force a pill in his mouth, or drag him to a therapist, you see what I mean?)."
My mom can't pay attention to my kids when my dad visits because he is so needy and competes for her attention. Do you think it's appropriate for me to ask her to visit without him? They visit 2-3 times a year for 2-3 days.