My wife schedules sex for "tomorrow". Then, the next day rolls around and the schedule stays the same - "tomorrow". Repeat that a few times and the stars align and we finally have sex. I take 4-5 days off from asking, then the cycle starts again.

It works out to a frequency of sex every ten days, so we're probably at about 30 times this year. Sex is good when when have it.

The constant anticipation then letdown is frustrating. In the past I've dealt with this using porn, but recently it has escalated to massage parlors and escorts while I'm on business trips.

Anonymous wrote:We don't "schedule" it per say and we've never talked about it but I always make sure we do it at least once a week. Good marriage maintenance.

+1 Saturday nights work sometimes but it can be very late until everyone (the kids) are in bed and asleep. Sunday nights, we all get to bed earlier but we have to get up earlier for work. One of those nights usually works. We do it about once a week whether we want to or not because we see it like a pilot light that keeps the marriage energized.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

that makes me sad

I would LOVE to have had sex 14 times this year. Now *that* is sad....

Wife and I are barely holding on... She is nearing menopause, has lost all interest. I try not to masturbate or turn to porn, but the rare times we've tried lately have been awkward and unsuccessful, adding to the strain. I mentioned scheduling and she hates the idea of being pressures. Just as when I sent her a couple of flirty text on the way home from a business trip -- took it as a ton of pressure that sex had to happen that night.

I will hope and pray we get to 14 times in 2017... Or maybe even 4?

Hope and pray? Um, my friend... YOU are the problem!
No wonder she doesn't want sex with you: you are passive. That isn't sexy. She doesn't respect you.

Either a normal sexlife is important to you, or it is not.
And if it IS, then you don't go masturbate watching porn, you (playfully.. romantically... whatever she likes) initiate sex with your wife.
And if she isn't interested (not at any particular moment, but in general) then you explain this is a relationship dealbreaker for you.
She can either figure out her desire issues (and fast) (which may include changes that YOU need to make).
Or you will soon resume an active sexlife .... without her.
That's what a non-passive man in your situation would do. Instant fix to your sexless problem.
Possibly it requires you to go outside the marriage, but that is entirely HER choice.

But I can see it really isn't that important to you.
So have fun with your sex 3x per year, for me that is an average WEEK of sex.

75 times for the year.

Dh and I are schedulers even pre-kids. We both had jobs that required long hours so it was important for us to set aside time for each other. Later on, the big jobs became 9-5 jobs + kids so overall level of busyness remained the same. The system has worked well for us so far. We usually average 3x a week. So as of Dec, about 132x.

I'm over 100, but I'm the one who tracks spreading her legs on my "spread sheet". ( Thanks for pointing that out, pp!)

So, sounds like I should ease back to once a week to keep more in line with my peers ...

We have sex once a week, sometimes twice, but generally just once.

15 so far this year.

I did a sad sort of happy dance when it went to double digits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

that makes me sad

I would LOVE to have had sex 14 times this year. Now *that* is sad....

Wife and I are barely holding on... She is nearing menopause, has lost all interest. I try not to masturbate or turn to porn, but the rare times we've tried lately have been awkward and unsuccessful, adding to the strain. I mentioned scheduling and she hates the idea of being pressures. Just as when I sent her a couple of flirty text on the way home from a business trip -- took it as a ton of pressure that sex had to happen that night.

I will hope and pray we get to 14 times in 2017... Or maybe even 4?

OMG, are you changing your toothbrush more frequently than you are having sex? because, wow.
I want everybody to track (and share) how often they are having sex, because this is eye opening.

I am 51, husband is 53. We have had sex 45 times in 2016.

If the tracking is of some interest, I started keeping track in 2012.

2012: 37.
2013: 29.
2014: 30.
2015: 21.
2016: 14.

Prior to 2012, I think it was quite a bit lower. We had a 2 month stretch in the beginning of 2012 that freaked me out. So, I started keeping track and tried initiating more. 50 Shades of Gray came out, and that really spiked things in May and June (14x in those two months). Then in July, things faded (only once), and I got a little in my head about sex at that point. I was afraid things were going to go back to the bad old days. And I counter-productively bitched about her turning me down at one point. That's when we had a serious talk about what was bugging me.

The talk was honest, but I can't say that I feel like it did much good. After that, she seemed to feel pressured when I tried initiating frequently and the sex was up. On the flip side, when sex was infrequent, now I knew she was fully aware of how I felt and was more or less ignoring those feelings.

But, the substantial decline tells me that we probably have to have another serious talk and come up with a strategy.

FWIW, I shower, brush my teeth, and wear a suit pretty much every day; have a 21.6 BMI; and can run a half marathon in just under 2 hours. So, I'm not Brad Pitt or anything, but basic fitness and hygiene shouldn't be an issue.

I want everybody to track (and share) how often they are having sex, because this is eye opening.

No list, but I assume wife and I are about 30 to day. 2x a month, sometimes 3. Hey, I am doing better than some.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

that makes me sad

I would LOVE to have had sex 14 times this year. Now *that* is sad....

Wife and I are barely holding on... She is nearing menopause, has lost all interest. I try not to masturbate or turn to porn, but the rare times we've tried lately have been awkward and unsuccessful, adding to the strain. I mentioned scheduling and she hates the idea of being pressures. Just as when I sent her a couple of flirty text on the way home from a business trip -- took it as a ton of pressure that sex had to happen that night.

I will hope and pray we get to 14 times in 2017... Or maybe even 4?

OMG, are you changing your toothbrush more frequently than you are having sex? because, wow.
I want everybody to track (and share) how often they are having sex, because this is eye opening.

My goal was to have sex with my wife this year. I have 31 days left ...

DUDE

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

that makes me sad

I would LOVE to have had sex 14 times this year. Now *that* is sad....

Wife and I are barely holding on... She is nearing menopause, has lost all interest. I try not to masturbate or turn to porn, but the rare times we've tried lately have been awkward and unsuccessful, adding to the strain. I mentioned scheduling and she hates the idea of being pressures. Just as when I sent her a couple of flirty text on the way home from a business trip -- took it as a ton of pressure that sex had to happen that night.

I will hope and pray we get to 14 times in 2017... Or maybe even 4?

OMG, are you changing your toothbrush more frequently than you are having sex? because, wow.
I want everybody to track (and share) how often they are having sex, because this is eye opening.

My goal was to have sex with my wife this year. I have 31 days left ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another tracker here. We've had sex 14 times this year.

that makes me sad

I would LOVE to have had sex 14 times this year. Now *that* is sad....

Wife and I are barely holding on... She is nearing menopause, has lost all interest. I try not to masturbate or turn to porn, but the rare times we've tried lately have been awkward and unsuccessful, adding to the strain. I mentioned scheduling and she hates the idea of being pressures. Just as when I sent her a couple of flirty text on the way home from a business trip -- took it as a ton of pressure that sex had to happen that night.

I will hope and pray we get to 14 times in 2017... Or maybe even 4?

OMG, are you changing your toothbrush more frequently than you are having sex? because, wow.
I want everybody to track (and share) how often they are having sex, because this is eye opening.

I have told my wife how important sex is to me to feel connected to her. She said she realizes that, but yet nothing happens.