Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MS is a problem. If you think your kid is going off the rails, I'd get them into private or parochial. A lot of our friends had nice kids that just fell into the abyss in MS and started behavior that really messed up their lives.

So funny that you think that private and parochial kids don't do any of this.

Of course some do, but in the middle of the pack these kids are generally more controlled by active, caring parents. That said, at the richest end, all hell breaks loose.

Oh please. There are "active and caring" parents in public schools too. Most kids with concerned parents do not get involved in stuff like this. Kids in private schools are no exception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Absolutely, none, anywhere, ever.

Why do people ask stupid questions like this? Of course there are.

Ok smart ass. I should have said how widespread in this. I was thinking it was an exception rather than the norm at this age.

It is.

Anonymous wrote:There are SOME that do that sort of thing. Always have been.

But MOST do not.

Exactly. This fear-mongering is ridiculous. Some kids will always be into this stuff. The vast majority of middle schoolers are not.

Re: where do kids find time?

I was a heavily supervised 14 yo in 9th grade but I still managed to find time to fool around. Had a bf in the orchestra. Orchestra had a weekend afternoon practice at school. For some reason, it didn't have a known end time. Mom said, call me when it's done to pick you up. OK, so it finished then bf and I found an empty classroom and fooled around for an hour before calling mom to pick me up. Not intercourse, but just fooling around. Sure, she suspected something was up when she was the only car at the pickup area but she had no evidence so I didn't get in trouble (I also didn't pull that again).

Also this was in hs but I had a friend who had intercourse in the stairwells that had next to no traffic in between classes. It was too crazy for her to have made it up. A few years later, several people finally got busted.

So my point is... when there's a will, there's a way...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do any kids have so much time on their hands to have the opportunity to engage in sexual activity at 12 or 13? I blame the parents and not the kids.

Really?

Yes!!! I have 14 year old twins (boy/girl). My DD is always at sports practice or has a game after school. If not, she is picked up and brought home. She has a snack/dinner, does homework, walks the dog, watches YouTube or Netflix, gets ready for bed. No time for sex or drugs. Same routine for DS. So, where are the parents that 12 years olds have time to date and have sex and do drugs? I'm not saying it's impossible but if parents are monitoring their kids' activities and keeping them busy, there should not be time for opportunities to engage in risky activities. I lost my birginity at 13 and looking back now it was because I had a lot of idle time, parents were always working or not paying much attention. Thank God I didn't get pregnant because I wasn't on any birth control. The guy was 19. I'm 53 now and will not let that occur with my kids if I can help it.

THIS. The parents who let their kids hang out unsupervised for hours after school are the parents of kids who are doing this.

Probably true, but I was never unsupervised after school and still managed to fool around with boys in middle school. If your kid is allowed to socialize at other people's homes, they have the opportunity. Larla's mom might allow boys over in the basement while she cooks dinner. Bethesda's mom might say no boys allowed, but Bethesda is allowed in the neighborhood unsupervised and goes to meet Chad in his backyard. These are the situations where my friends and I were hooking up 25 years ago. Honestly, I regard this type of stuff as normal - actual intercourse at that age, hell no.

My DS is in 6th grade and I can't imagine him wanting to get near a girl by next school year. He thinks they are weird and gross.

No drinking yet in my DS's 7th grade, that he's aware of. Big range in terms of physical development from prepuberty to full blown puberty. some kids with absolutely no interest in dating to the totally boy/girl crazy. My DS is interested in dating but doesn't want to be the first one in the class to ask a girl out. Also he's not exactly sure what to do on a date. The kids do seem a world away from last year. They have started co-ed group texting chats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, most are 13 at some point during the year. Only summer kids are 12.

Only summer kids are 12 for aall of seventh grade. Unless there are an unusual number of red-shirted kids, kids with birthdays rright after the cut-off, &/or kids who have been held back in a class,the majority of seventh graders are still 12 in early November.

In any case, 12/13 is very young to be drinking & having sex but it is not unheard of nor is it some new phenomenon. Statistically speaking, it's actually less common than it was when most of us were that age.

When school starts, almost all the kids are already 12. All kids, except for summer birthdays, will turn 13 while in 7th grade. So, forsake of argument, we can agree that most 7th graders (sept-June school year) are 13. The same applies to KG. Most kids in KG turn 6 while in KG. This isn't hard to follow. Basic math. Doesn't matter the month, as above poster is referencing, just 7th grade which runs sep-June in VA.

So currently right now in November, maybe 1/10 of 7th grades are actually 13. Most are 12, and some are still 11.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, most are 13 at some point during the year. Only summer kids are 12.

Only summer kids are 12 for aall of seventh grade. Unless there are an unusual number of red-shirted kids, kids with birthdays rright after the cut-off, &/or kids who have been held back in a class,the majority of seventh graders are still 12 in early November.

In any case, 12/13 is very young to be drinking & having sex but it is not unheard of nor is it some new phenomenon. Statistically speaking, it's actually less common than it was when most of us were that age.

When school starts, almost all the kids are already 12. All kids, except for summer birthdays, will turn 13 while in 7th grade. So, forsake of argument, we can agree that most 7th graders (sept-June school year) are 13. The same applies to KG. Most kids in KG turn 6 while in KG. This isn't hard to follow. Basic math. Doesn't matter the month, as above poster is referencing, just 7th grade which runs sep-June in VA.

Yes, most 7th graders are 13 by the end of the school year. At this point in the school year, however, some are 13 but most are still 12. It is really not that hard to follow

Of course, as others have pointed out, it doesn't really matter. Both 12 or 13-year-olds are too young to be doing the things OP mentions in her post.

Exactly, most kids are not 13 in 7th grade. Most are eventually turning 13. Some are even still 11 for a few months in 7th grade.

And there are still kids that are mostly 13 in 8th grade and some that are even 13 when they start off as freshman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do any kids have so much time on their hands to have the opportunity to engage in sexual activity at 12 or 13? I blame the parents and not the kids.

Really?

Yes!!! I have 14 year old twins (boy/girl). My DD is always at sports practice or has a game after school. If not, she is picked up and brought home. She has a snack/dinner, does homework, walks the dog, watches YouTube or Netflix, gets ready for bed. No time for sex or drugs. Same routine for DS. So, where are the parents that 12 years olds have time to date and have sex and do drugs? I'm not saying it's impossible but if parents are monitoring their kids' activities and keeping them busy, there should not be time for opportunities to engage in risky activities. I lost my birginity at 13 and looking back now it was because I had a lot of idle time, parents were always working or not paying much attention. Thank God I didn't get pregnant because I wasn't on any birth control. The guy was 19. I'm 53 now and will not let that occur with my kids if I can help it.

THIS. The parents who let their kids hang out unsupervised for hours after school are the parents of kids who are doing this.

Anonymous wrote:12 or 13 - what difference does it really make??? 12 or 13 is too damn young to be drinking, drugging and sexing! Can we all agree on that?

Yes, agree. I don' know why people keep trying to distinguish between age and grade. It is irrelevant to the topic. All I know is I don't want any damn babies having babies in my house or drinking or drugging in or outside of my house. My kids are not that great at keeping secrets and kids talk.

12 or 13 - what difference does it really make??? 12 or 13 is too damn young to be drinking, drugging and sexing! Can we all agree on that?

It was starting then when I was in 7th Grade. It was primarily the kids who had home issues. (I am 44 yo)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, most are 13 at some point during the year. Only summer kids are 12.

Only summer kids are 12 for aall of seventh grade. Unless there are an unusual number of red-shirted kids, kids with birthdays rright after the cut-off, &/or kids who have been held back in a class,the majority of seventh graders are still 12 in early November.

In any case, 12/13 is very young to be drinking & having sex but it is not unheard of nor is it some new phenomenon. Statistically speaking, it's actually less common than it was when most of us were that age.

When school starts, almost all the kids are already 12. All kids, except for summer birthdays, will turn 13 while in 7th grade. So, forsake of argument, we can agree that most 7th graders (sept-June school year) are 13. The same applies to KG. Most kids in KG turn 6 while in KG. This isn't hard to follow. Basic math. Doesn't matter the month, as above poster is referencing, just 7th grade which runs sep-June in VA.

Yes, most 7th graders are 13 by the end of the school year. At this point in the school year, however, some are 13 but most are still 12. It is really not that hard to follow

Of course, as others have pointed out, it doesn't really matter. Both 12 or 13-year-olds are too young to be doing the things OP mentions in her post.

The 12 v. 13 discussion is missing the bigger picture.

Either is too young.