Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

This post is exactly why I have always feared leaving the work force as a woman.

Then you missed the point entirely. I view my working while she stays home (by her choice) as a gift to her which allows her the freedom to spend her time the way she wants. All my post above means is that all I want from her is just to show me some consideration and be nice to me. I don't need her spending money on gifts.

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on how your DH is with extravagant purchases. Personally, I can't enjoy myself if I think too much money has been spent on an outing.

Anonymous wrote:It could easily cost a thousand to have an amazing milestone party. I've never done it, but I am extrapolating on how expensive even a kids party can be. Get the best tickets available for the game, which I assume would cost that much. Or take him to New York for the weekend to see something like the color purple, which is supposed to be great. Again, best seats and great hotel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

Gentle suggestion: price out how much a FT nanny costs, then add what a cook and housekeeper cost. I'll give you a hint: it's more than you earn and certainly isn't something you could afford. If you paid your wife for her services, then you would realize this.

Sadly (for your wife), you have a rather 1950s philosophy about marriage, work and finances. You also sound like someone who is incapable of being pleased or happy. I'm wondering if you are the DH from the thread about men who are selfish in bed?

Your wife probably gave up on buying you gifts specifically because of your obvious attitude problem.

I'm curious what kinds of gifts you buy for the woman you seemingly keep as your unpaid domestic servant?

You are making a lot of assumptions here. My wife sets her own schedule. She enjoys arty type things and during the week (while I'm at work) she does to organ lessons on Tuesdays, Wednesdays are painting lessons, Thursdays she teaches piano to her sisters children (for free it more of a social thing between her and her sister). I carry my own cloths to the dry cleaners and do the majority of the cooking in our house and we have a house cleaning service.

I really don't understand why people find it so difficult to accept the fact that a husband works to support his family (including his wife). Why do you have to make it some sort of score card where the wife has been disenfranchised and is working at a disadvantage?

Anonymous wrote:My husband's 50th is approaching soon. He is anti-social, and has always made clear he wants nothing to do with a party. I'm the opposite, but I'm restraining myself. He did say last year all he wants is an amazing seat to see a team he loves. So I'm scoping tickets whose prices range from offensive to insane.

Obviously I realize that DCUMs can't tell me what I personally can afford to spend, but I'm just trying to get a sense of what other people spend around these kinds of milestones. I've never bought a truly expensive gift, and we live significantly below our means, so I just don't know what normal people might consider reasonable for this kind of thing. If you've had a spouse hit a big birthday and done something special, can you share what you spent (generally speaking)? Thanks!

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion It really depends on where the money is coming from. My wife doesn't work so if she ever did purchase a gift for me it would be from money that I myself earned and therefore I don't really see the item itself as a gift. Rather, on the few time in our marriage that she has actually purchased a gift for me, the more important aspect of the "gift" was the though or rather lack of thought she put into the "gift." The reason for this is that the because the money is from my earnings the only part of herself she put into the gift was her consideration for what I might need or want. In our case only once did she put any effort into the gift. It was the effort that made the gift special. Not the cost. And frankly the more expensive the gift when spending someone else's earning shows a profound lack of consideration for that other person.

Anonymous wrote:Funny this should pop up. My wife turns 50 in June. Because the last year has been such a sh*t show all her friend's 50ths got canceled.

Now they are being scheduled as small weekends away at fancy hotels on the Eastern Shore like gangbusters since most are or will be vaccinated. I think she has 4 on the calendar between May 1 and August 1.

I would never voice it but that means hers will basically be a nice dinner and a card.

You don't get to have four $600 girl's weekends and then expect me to host some big party.

Anonymous wrote:My DH rented a 58' yacht and an America's Cup Captain to sail us and some friends around the Caribbean for two weeks. Hopping from island to island.

Even flew in a Michelin rated Chef to cook us sumptuous meals each day.

It was lovely!