Anonymous
Post 09/08/2016 02:05     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
It didn't bother me when a grad school friend did this. She was new to the area. Her family lived abroad. The groom was local and his family of origin was large. Their compromise was 30 guests total. The only way she could have any guest was to invite her classmates and if she had invited our spouses, she would have had to cherry-pick among us. It was actually great bonding for our cohort.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2016 00:53     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Why hasn't your DH met his best friend's fiancee? Why haven't you (OP) meet your DH's best friend more than a few times? These are the strange missing pieces to me.


I don't understand this point, either. OP said the wedding is local, but maybe the friend and fiancée live far away?

I agree with the PP who said this is ironic. Please come support my union while I undermine yours. OP, I would be concerned about my marriage if your husband truly doesn't care.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2016 00:27     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Anonymous wrote:How do we know it's not the best friend's wife that is controlling this situation? Let's be honest, bitches be crazy about wedding planning. Maybe she's been crazy the whole time and friend is just not going to fight her anymore. Maybe her parents are footing the bill. There are just too many questions to crucify OP's husband outright.


I would not necessarily blame the groom. I have known two weddings with bridezillas whose family was paying for the wedding and they each gave their groom's side a quota of how many could be invited. In both cases, the groom had to invite a few single-only friends because certain family had to be included. One bridezilla even made the point that the groom was marrying up because her family had money and his didn't. Not suprisingly, neither marriage lasted very long.

This is unlikely to be the case here, as the groom did suggest that OP's husband could bring their son, but just tossing out that it isn't always the groom's fault in a situation like this.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2016 00:18     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Hubby knew it was going to happen and didn't intervene before it was done? Then I personally think close friend is inviting hubbys old girlfriend hoping to get them together. And hubby was ok with that. It is a plausible explanation for a very obviou social faux pas.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 23:55     Subject: Re:Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Anonymous wrote:

Why doesn't the husband know the best friends fiance? Maybe because as you get older distance and time constraints mean you see friends less often. Not inviting his wife is essentially saying you have no interest in being in the friend's life long term imo



The OP didn't say any of that. The OP didn't say enough to make folks jump all over her husband. I'd there some bad blood? Did the wife disrespect the engaged couple in some way? There are always two sides to every story.


The op did say that at 21:18. Her dh hasn't even met the fiance
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 23:35     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
First, two PPs above, take it to another post and let's work on figuring this OP's issue out.

Another vote for totally inappropriate here.

So, OP, please answer this:
1) have you offended your DH's friend, or his mother?
2) Do you get drunk or get in arguments at public appearances?
3) Have you done something like cheat on your DH, or be abusive to DH--something that would make his friend not like you?
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 23:17     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
NP. I've had similar stuff happen with DH family and friends excluding me. It got to the point when DH friend invited him only to a surprise party. DH said no-it was many states away. Friend offered to fly him. I said do what you want but I will leave permanently. You cannot allow your side to continually treat me with disrespect.

Fwiw I'm lily white American. DH is from a different country. Insecure females and weak husbands suck. It was the last time it happened. And really, I would have walked had he gone. I was so tired of his family and friends shit!
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 23:07     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Why hasn't your DH met his best friend's fiancee? Why haven't you (OP) meet your DH's best friend more than a few times? These are the strange missing pieces to me.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 22:40     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Anonymous wrote:How do we know it's not the best friend's wife that is controlling this situation? Let's be honest, bitches be crazy about wedding planning. Maybe she's been crazy the whole time and friend is just not going to fight her anymore. Maybe her parents are footing the bill. There are just too many questions to crucify OP's husband outright.


Nope. Not in this case. Not in any culture or country.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 22:37     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Unless they're only inviting 15 people to the wedding and truly can't afford or fit one more, it's wrong. Your husband should decline.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 22:36     Subject: Re:Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it possible they don't know that only putting his name on the invite is meant to exclude you?


I had DH confirm and the invite was only for him. They only invited close family and friends, however he was told he could bring our son.


I have no words for the amount of disrespect here. Not only by the friend, but also by your husband. Please tell me he told his friend he's not attending. Please!


DH buddy must be living this standoff he's causing, deliberately.

You need to go, in lieu of your son. Or no one goes.

And since best buddy is making you DH choose, he had better hold his head up high when you both walk into the wedding. Nothing more needs to be said
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 22:33     Subject: Re:Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is it possible they don't know that only putting his name on the invite is meant to exclude you?


I had DH confirm and the invite was only for him. They only invited close family and friends, however he was told he could bring our son.


Omg. What a mean asshole. Why does he hate you so much? He's forcing your husband to give anther big F U to you too. what an evil manipulative asshole.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 22:30     Subject: Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Anonymous wrote:One of my husband's best friends is getting married and he sent out an invitation only inviting DH. DH told me about it and I said why would he only invite you. He said well he doesn't really know you like that and told me not to get upset. However, I feel some kind of way about that. What do you guys think?


What a jackass. Weddings are for your "best friends" to celebrate and support their marriage and future together. Your best friends' spouses are absolutely included in that.

dH better get on the horn and call his best friend. Maybe it's a financial thing? And you could offer to cover your plates.

Is this groom like 23 yo or something?
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 22:00     Subject: Re:Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Anonymous wrote:Weddings are about couples supporting other couples. Your friends are totally uncouth. How embarrasing.


She doesn't really know the guy getting married. Doesn't sound like there was much "support" before the wedding invites went out.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2016 21:57     Subject: Re:Do you think it's appropriate to invite a married person to a wedding without their spouse?
Weddings are about couples supporting other couples. Your friends are totally uncouth. How embarrasing.