Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All your fancy talk comes down to 2 simple words which are 100% effective at weight loss:
Calorie deficit

Doesn't matter how much you are training.
Doesn't matter what is your metabolism.
Doesn't matter how much you are eating.

If you are achieving calorie deficit, then you are losing weight.
If you are calorie surplus, then you are gaining weight.

End of story.

Except where that line is is different for everyone. Frequently its hard to find that line. And for some people that line means eating very little food which is very difficult to accomplish over the long term.

I read a very good article by a doctor who works in the weight loss field who is very frustrated by the idea of this all being about will power. Because a fat person is expected to exercise will power 24/7 and if they fail one time they are looked at as a loser which is a test of will power we don't put on anyone else. Jesus the fat hating aholes on this forum are such POSs

1960:

Average American male: 166.3 pounds
Average American female: 140 pounds

2010:

Average American male: 199.5 pounds
Average American female: 166.3

Hard for me to buy into the (this is so hard line of thinking). Both men and women have struggled with this in our country over the past 50 years, but women get more judgment for it.

Lack of willpower must be causing people to grow taller, too! https://ourworldindata.org/human-height/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All your fancy talk comes down to 2 simple words which are 100% effective at weight loss:
Calorie deficit

Doesn't matter how much you are training.
Doesn't matter what is your metabolism.
Doesn't matter how much you are eating.

If you are achieving calorie deficit, then you are losing weight.
If you are calorie surplus, then you are gaining weight.

End of story.

Except where that line is is different for everyone. Frequently its hard to find that line. And for some people that line means eating very little food which is very difficult to accomplish over the long term.

I read a very good article by a doctor who works in the weight loss field who is very frustrated by the idea of this all being about will power. Because a fat person is expected to exercise will power 24/7 and if they fail one time they are looked at as a loser which is a test of will power we don't put on anyone else. Jesus the fat hating aholes on this forum are such POSs

1960:

Average American male: 166.3 pounds
Average American female: 140 pounds

2010:

Average American male: 199.5 pounds
Average American female: 166.3

Hard for me to buy into the (this is so hard line of thinking). Both men and women have struggled with this in our country over the past 50 years, but women get more judgment for it.

There are so many other things that change over the course of marriage that can affect the commitment. If the spouses grow apart in terms of anger management, sex drive, parenting philosophy, dealing with money, employment status, where to live, what music to listen to, need for privacy, health management, clothing preferences, etc. In my case, there were clues but in the end I could not thrive in an environment filled with anger, which infected every one of the other issues, and we divorced. Attitude toward food/weight did not play a role in our case, but it is also a factor that could affect commitment. Things do change, which is why vows are a lovely idea but not an ironclad guarantee. We are both happier out of the marriage.

Anonymous wrote:To get back on topic, I think that if your spouse's weight is so important to you that you'd cry "false advertising" if they gained, then you need to be completely upfront and give anyone you date a clear warning that you value looks above all else. You must warn them that they can't count on you to love and want them when they inevitably become less physically attractive over time, should you marry. If you don't warn them, you're the false advertiser.

+1000
One of my boyfriends actually did this, thank goodness. I was always naturally thin until my early 20s, when I started to gain wieght despite counting calories and exercising. My serious boyfriend from college started making fun of me and informed me upfront he would not marry a "fat girl." At least he wasn't "a false advertiser" lol.

I dumped him and started dating the wonderful man I married for the next 20+ years and counting. We are there for each other no matter what.

Anonymous wrote:All your fancy talk comes down to 2 simple words which are 100% effective at weight loss:
Calorie deficit

Doesn't matter how much you are training.
Doesn't matter what is your metabolism.
Doesn't matter how much you are eating.

If you are achieving calorie deficit, then you are losing weight.
If you are calorie surplus, then you are gaining weight.

End of story.

You are simplistic. According to you a person struggling with anorexia has to "only" eat more.
It isn't that easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My first wife put on 60+ lbs. I know it sounds terrible but it did have an impact on my attraction to her. I never brought it up because I wouldn't want to affect her body image. Other guys still found her attractive, she had multiple affairs before I finally divorced her.

I remarried years later to a woman who is also very fitness minded and health conscious. We've been together 15 years now and I still enjoy seeing her climb into bed with me in her underwear.

No one asked about your cross-dressing, bro.

Thanks for this!

Anonymous wrote:My cousin was always a bit chubby. She is 5 ft 8 in.
In high school she was around 160 lbs. In her mid to late 20's she got really really thin, around 120lbs. She met a guy who she ended up marrying. He only ever knew her when she was thin. She immediately gained 30 lbs after the wedding. Since then, she has gained weight ongoing and now after ten years is around 220lbs.

My brother said this was " false advertising" and he felt bad for her husband. Saying, the husband married a thin woman and now he is stuck. Yes, my brother is a jerk. But do you agree with his point?

This is pointless.

It is between your cousin and her husband. It's none of your brother's business. Tell him to go do something useful, maybe volunteer and help some people instead of wasting his time judging people.

Anonymous wrote:To get back on topic, I think that if your spouse's weight is so important to you that you'd cry "false advertising" if they gained, then you need to be completely upfront and give anyone you date a clear warning that you value looks above all else. You must warn them that they can't count on you to love and want them when they inevitably become less physically attractive over time, should you marry. If you don't warn them, you're the false advertiser.

+100

Also, consider that LTR or marriage is just not for you.

To get back on topic, I think that if your spouse's weight is so important to you that you'd cry "false advertising" if they gained, then you need to be completely upfront and give anyone you date a clear warning that you value looks above all else. You must warn them that they can't count on you to love and want them when they inevitably become less physically attractive over time, should you marry. If you don't warn them, you're the false advertiser.

Anonymous wrote:All your fancy talk comes down to 2 simple words which are 100% effective at weight loss:
Calorie deficit

Doesn't matter how much you are training.
Doesn't matter what is your metabolism.
Doesn't matter how much you are eating.

If you are achieving calorie deficit, then you are losing weight.
If you are calorie surplus, then you are gaining weight.

End of story.

Except where that line is is different for everyone. Frequently its hard to find that line. And for some people that line means eating very little food which is very difficult to accomplish over the long term.

I read a very good article by a doctor who works in the weight loss field who is very frustrated by the idea of this all being about will power. Because a fat person is expected to exercise will power 24/7 and if they fail one time they are looked at as a loser which is a test of will power we don't put on anyone else. Jesus the fat hating aholes on this forum are such POSs

All your fancy talk comes down to 2 simple words which are 100% effective at weight loss:
Calorie deficit

Doesn't matter how much you are training.
Doesn't matter what is your metabolism.
Doesn't matter how much you are eating.

If you are achieving calorie deficit, then you are losing weight.
If you are calorie surplus, then you are gaining weight.

End of story.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the 100% effective way to lose weight? Every single weight loss study I have ever read has a weight loss of something like 15 lbs over the course of several months and most participants gain it all back. In fact, most of these studies are worthless because those 15lbs are actually the last observation carried forward from people who dropped out of the study.

If people can't actually do whatever you are spouting as 100% effective, then it isn't really effective at all, and it is certainly not a "free choice."

Calorie deficit is 100% effective for weight loss.
Overweight people are generally undisciplined and not honest with themselves about how many calories they eat.
This is however their free choice.

You are a very ignorant and not well educated person when it comes to the complexity of metabolism.

I said calorie deficit... do you really not know what that means?
I will give you a hint: metabolism most definitely a part of the equation.
Educate yourself, then come back and post.

Idiot. Calorie deficit is only 100% effective in the short term. In the long term you will destroy your metabolism and spent the rest of your life being one of those women who can only eat 1000 calories / day without turning into a whale.

NP here and you are so clueless. So, what is effective in the long term, if not a calorie deficit?

Increasing your metabolism, duh. Lift weights and build muscle. Instead of focusing on cutting calories, eat the right type of calories, in smaller amounts every 3-4 hours. Once you tank your metabolism by dieting or fasting, you're committing yourself to a lifetime of dieting and fasting.

This is still about calorie deficit. You can increase your metabolism all you want but if you eat more calories than what your increased metabolism requires, you'll still gain weight. DUH

Don't be so simplistic. The point is to train your metabolism to process the right calories, and if you're focused on cutting calories from the start you'll miss out on how to do this. Training your metabolism can actually involve a calorie surplus at first, which is uncomfortable when people's goals are losing weight instead of tweaking metabolism for the long term.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general men should investigate the size of the mom and also look for signs the women may be fat and temporarily fighting on keeping the weight of to trap a man. Look for signs of stretch marks, breasts too large for the frame, curvy etc... It's always easier for a naturally skinny person to stay an acceptable size.

You're awful! You sound like you're buying a car -- kick the tires, look under the hood -- not searching for your soulmate. Maybe you should check consumer reports too!

Advertising is a term that relates to product marketing. She is a person, not a product.

Exactly. What a disgusting way to talk about another person. There is always a possibility that your partner will gain weight. If the woman was usually 160, and now she's 220, that suggests some underlying problem (going from 120 back to 160 strikes me as totally normal--it's hard to maintain a weight that's not your body's normal set point). A loving spouse will try to understand why, and help solve the underlying problem. Is she depressed or anxious? Does she have a health condition? Does she lack time for exercise? Is she on a medication that causes weight gain? Do they keep too much junk in the house? Are they eating takeout and restaurant food too much? And try to figure out how he can be supportive so that she can be healthier. Not bitch about how he got a defective product.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married my husband when he had a full head of lustrous hair. Now he's bald. It was "false advertising." I want a divorce!

his hair loss is beyond human control, but you at fat by choice.
Completely different.

Disagree on both counts.

Husband could have surgery, wear a toupee, use Rogaine.
Unless wife sat down and deliberately force fed herself, she did not become fat "by choice." No one plans to gain 30 pounds unless they are an actor in a movie.

Let me explain this to you
There is no action that he has taken to cause his hair loss.
There is no action he could take to prevent his hair loss (rogaine is not always effective).
Now if the wife is unhappy about it, she could go to him and request that he get surgery/wear a toupee/try rogaine.
If he values her attraction to his "full head of lustrous hair" then he would be wise to consider these ideas.

Entirely different from weight gain.
Fatness is 100% directly caused by the actions of the fat person.
And weight loss is 100% directly caused by their actions too.
There is a 100% effective way to loose weight.
The choice to be fat may not be intentional but it absolutely is a free choice.

What is the 100% effective way to lose weight? Every single weight loss study I have ever read has a weight loss of something like 15 lbs over the course of several months and most participants gain it all back. In fact, most of these studies are worthless because those 15lbs are actually the last observation carried forward from people who dropped out of the study.

If people can't actually do whatever you are spouting as 100% effective, then it isn't really effective at all, and it is certainly not a "free choice."

A lifestyle change - eat better (no processed crap, minimal sugar and alcohol), get good sleep, exercise, etc.

Yes, being fat is entirely a choice for most people