It's just sad to think that an innocent child could up in foster care, grow to be a full adult and have someone question if they're marriage material. Smh.

it's a choice to be with anyone.
But those who come from foster care is a responsibility and you'll have to manage it. Just like managing any relationship.
Foster care comes with a lot of stories, some are ok and some are horrid...
it's not easy to communicate with someone who faced trauma, you'll need patience and a listening ear....
Dating someone comes with a lot of surprises on any level...
it takes time to work anything out...
Don't expect your date to be like a pizza order..

Anonymous wrote:I am. And he is the most amazing man I have ever met. He has his issues but we all do. Just because someone grew up in a rough situation does not mean they are broken or troubled as most others in this comment section seem to think they are. My boyfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to me and has shown me what it is like to care about someone and to live unconditionally. If you are not willing to date someone or even just give them a single chance because of things they cannot control, you do not deserve to have anyone in your life. To anyone who has said anything along the lines of "they are too broken" SCREWYOU! They are too amazing for a closed minded person such as yourself.

This was originally posted in July of 2016. Why on earth would you bump this? People can choose who they want to date and they can use whatever reasons they wish not to date someone.

My best friend in high school was one of six siblings who had grown up in foster care, starting when their ages ranged from 10 to 2.

I met their current and 2 former foster parents. All seemed like wonderful people, and cared very much for the kids - just weren’t in a position to adopt 6 kids permanently, and nobody wanted to split up the family of kids.

4 of the 6 ended up with serious issues - drugs, prison, or in one case fetal alcohol syndrome. 1 ended up your normal, middle class, state university graduate with loans, happy enough. 1 did really well, med school, a very kind and empathetic person, happily married.

The odds are good that there will be emotional attachment issues, and potentially fetal or early-childhood issues from whatever led to the person being in foster care in the first place. But there are also plenty of cases of healthy, well-adjusted adults who happened to go through a crappy system. You’ll never know unless you stick around to find out.

No MIL? Score.

I am. And he is the most amazing man I have ever met. He has his issues but we all do. Just because someone grew up in a rough situation does not mean they are broken or troubled as most others in this comment section seem to think they are. My boyfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to me and has shown me what it is like to care about someone and to live unconditionally. If you are not willing to date someone or even just give them a single chance because of things they cannot control, you do not deserve to have anyone in your life. To anyone who has said anything along the lines of "they are too broken" SCREWYOU! They are too amazing for a closed minded person such as yourself.

My mother was a foster kid from the age of 7. She was married to my dad for 48 years b/f my dad died. Give him a chance.

Please don’t. He clearly deserves better.

I would give him a chance.

Bonus that there are no inlaws.

This thread is depressing. It's heartbreaking that people would immediately write someone off because they were orphaned.

My dad grew up in foster care. He is the most thoughtful, kind, compassionate person I know. His dad was killed (war), and his mom had to work. We grew up UMC, and kids (me and 1 brother) are probably in the 1%. True rags to riches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I wouldn't if I could do better than that.

You are a disgusting excuse for a human being.

NP. Why is PP disgusting? Rather, why am I disgusting since I share her opinion?

OP, you should proceed carefully. I'd say if I were looking for casual dating, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Provided it didn't manifest in clearly undesirable behavior.

If I were looking to marry and start a family, I would most likely avoid. With sketchy family background, you don't know what you're walking into in terms of both nature and nurture. You don't know what the person inherited genetically, was exposed to during his mother's pregnancy and early years. You don't know how many homes the person lived in, what happened to him there, and what impact it had on his present self. It can literally go any way, and it's up to you to decide if the risk is worth taking.

It is disgusting that you & the first PPseem to think that growing up in foster care makes so.some inately inferior & thatthese people should only be entered into relationships with if so.eone "better" can't be found.

I'm guessing many people would rather be single than resort to dating someone as nasty as you & the PP if they couldn't find anyone better!

Considering the OP originally posted this in July of 2016 I'm sure she's figured out what to do at this point in time.

My neighbor grew up in foster care. She went to an ivy league, has an incredibly successful career, is very involved in our community and is an amazing mom. She is one of the kindest people I have ever met. Give him a chance provided there are no red flags that he isn’t a good guy.