Anonymous
Post 06/29/2016 14:46     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Geesh, what a depressing thread.

No wonder there are so many unhappy people in unhappy relationships.

You all act like finding a companion is like ordering something from a menu and like people are commodities with a shelf life.

Anonymous
Post 06/29/2016 13:25     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:
+1000

OP had her chance to find a decent guy but chose not to. As she turned down guys, they moved on to find other women and settled down. Now OP doesn't have the ability to be as picky because the potential pool of men has dwindled significantly. So she has the option of the following:
1. Try to date an already married man. Since he's already taken he's obviously a suitable mate
2. Date a man who is divorced. She will have to realize there is baggage and divorced guys are usually more selective if they weren't the cheaters.
3. Date from a pool of men that has fewer optimal guys because the rest are already taken.


She'll have the group of beta orbiters following her around. The guys that she friend-zones who hang around in the off chance she'll sleep with them. But if she hasn't already, there's a good chance she won't. Fact of the matter is, as she ages, her market value decreases. Unless she's okay with meeting a guys who doesn't want kids or a family because that's his choice or he already has one from a previous marriage.


Gets it. Once again---men age like fine wine, women age like milk.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2016 06:17     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:LOL yeah right.

Women in their 30s with their shit together get snapped up all the time by good and decent men.


There aren't too many women in their 30's with their shit together and even at least averagely attractive who haven't already been snapped up by a good and decent man. Maybe they are widows or something, or they got divorced because their husband cheated--but they'll get snapped up so quickly they'll never write on the internet about their concerns about not being datable.

That's what your comment totally misses the boat on.

The women who find themselves into their 30's, single, not knowing why, feeling undatable, and feeling scared about it--scared enough about it to seek reassurance that age doesn't matter from their internet friends--are a self-selected group. OP is one of those women. She already feels undatable, and it's not because two of her friends made a comment about her age. It's because her first hand feedback from the dating market tells her, in a very direct way, that she is simply not generating the kind of interest she did five or ten years ago.


+1000

OP had her chance to find a decent guy but chose not to. As she turned down guys, they moved on to find other women and settled down. Now OP doesn't have the ability to be as picky because the potential pool of men has dwindled significantly. So she has the option of the following:
1. Try to date an already married man. Since he's already taken he's obviously a suitable mate
2. Date a man who is divorced. She will have to realize there is baggage and divorced guys are usually more selective if they weren't the cheaters.
3. Date from a pool of men that has fewer optimal guys because the rest are already taken.


She'll have the group of beta orbiters following her around. The guys that she friend-zones who hang around in the off chance she'll sleep with them. But if she hasn't already, there's a good chance she won't. Fact of the matter is, as she ages, her market value decreases. Unless she's okay with meeting a guys who doesn't want kids or a family because that's his choice or he already has one from a previous marriage.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2016 06:08     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:LOL yeah right.

Women in their 30s with their shit together get snapped up all the time by good and decent men.


But they're still not the top of choices. A good, attractive and shows all the qualities men usually like are snatched up in the 20s. What's left are those who didn't make the cut.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2016 06:06     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:I'm a 40yr old man and these are the only women I wouldn't date:

1. 10yr or more younger
2. Without a career
3. Who wanted more children
4. Who is a big drinker or smoker of any sort
5. Who doesn't enjoy exercise and the outdoors.
6. More than 2yrs older
7. Who doesn't enjoy frequent sex

Obviously my wheelhouse is between 30-42 to meet this.


^This

Except not more than two years older. I prefer them to be 33-35 to be honest. Any older and I'll still date of course, just think women are great at the 30-35 range.
Anonymous
Post 06/29/2016 00:29     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:LOL yeah right.

Women in their 30s with their shit together get snapped up all the time by good and decent men.


There aren't too many women in their 30's with their shit together and even at least averagely attractive who haven't already been snapped up by a good and decent man. Maybe they are widows or something, or they got divorced because their husband cheated--but they'll get snapped up so quickly they'll never write on the internet about their concerns about not being datable.

That's what your comment totally misses the boat on.

The women who find themselves into their 30's, single, not knowing why, feeling undatable, and feeling scared about it--scared enough about it to seek reassurance that age doesn't matter from their internet friends--are a self-selected group. OP is one of those women. She already feels undatable, and it's not because two of her friends made a comment about her age. It's because her first hand feedback from the dating market tells her, in a very direct way, that she is simply not generating the kind of interest she did five or ten years ago.


Well, it wasn't like that for me or any of my friends who met their partners in their 30s. It gave everyone time to get through law school, finish their PhD, conquer those demons of their 20s, etc. But I will agree that women in their 30s who believe their "value" has depreciated are unlikely to find good partners.

For some excellent reading on how that type of outlook leads an otherwise wildly successful woman to consistently choose unsuitable partners and reject perfectly decent ones, google the blogspot blog The Fourth Date (Sexless in Seattle, Looking for love, will settle for a good time). If you're contending with the same personal challenges of that author, you need a therapist to help you work out what you are doing and why. I didn't settle down in my 20s on purpose - the sudden death of my long-term boyfriend at 23 meant I needed (admittedly a lot of) time before I could bring my fair share to a relationship - but if you want to and keep sabotaging yourself you'll need an outside perspective to help you work on yourself.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 23:19     Subject: Re:Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your guy friends are complete idiots. Many 30+ women are smart, independent, and oh by the way, very hot and damn good sexually because they know what they want and are comfortable finding out what their partner wants.


But for some guys their "dick count" it too high. I was married and find a lot of single women who are my age have had a lot of partners. That's a turn off.


Why? Because she was supposed to save herself for you? What bullshit. I hope you're saving yourself for some unicorn woman that gives a shit about who you used to bang. Normal guys will just enjoy the benefit of her experience.

OP - I separated when I was 35, met a great guy at 38 and am in a wonderful LTR that suits us both. I dated several nice men prior to meeting BF, some of whom are still friends. Find men of substance, don't go into a first date with an agenda other than to meet someone new, and just enjoy the process of getting to know someone.



No, I expect them to have previous partners. I was married for a while, and most of my activity was after the divorce. But it's still low comparatively speaking as my ex-wife and I dated through college. It's still less than most women I've met.


Is it that you think you'll seem inexperienced in bed with them? If I were you I'd work on raising your own number to ease this insecurity. Besides, number of partners does not necessarily make someone experienced in bed.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 21:52     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
LOL yeah right.

Women in their 30s with their shit together get snapped up all the time by good and decent men.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 20:47     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
I'm a 40yr old man and these are the only women I wouldn't date:

1. 10yr or more younger
2. Without a career
3. Who wanted more children
4. Who is a big drinker or smoker of any sort
5. Who doesn't enjoy exercise and the outdoors.
6. More than 2yrs older
7. Who doesn't enjoy frequent sex

Obviously my wheelhouse is between 30-42 to meet this.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 18:49     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
If this were true, you'd see a ton of couples where the man was with a much younger women. But that is really a rare occurrence. The fact is, most couples - many of which became couples after the age of 30 - are within the same age range. So yeah, not really true.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 18:46     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:Haha lots of women denialists on this thread. It is just true that women's mate value goes down in the 30s beacuse the reproductive window is narrower. Cite: All of human history and common knowledge. Guys go down too with time because they get older and saggier, but not the same way.


I agree with you except that part. I don't think women's value goes down b/c of "reproductive window." They are just not as attractive to guys. And you think 30's bad, wait until women hit 40s...
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 18:40     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Haha lots of women denialists on this thread. It is just true that women's mate value goes down in the 30s beacuse the reproductive window is narrower. Cite: All of human history and common knowledge. Guys go down too with time because they get older and saggier, but not the same way.
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 16:27     Subject: Re:Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:From Glamour, that noted journal that caters to misogynistic male subscribers....

http://www.glamour.com/story/best-age-for-online-dating-for

Here's the Prime Age for Women for Online Dating—and Why I'm Not That Sad to Be Past It

My first serious foray into online dating came when I was 26 and in the middle of the first of what would be two breakups with the same guy. Round two came when I was 30, and it's still going strong as my 32nd birthday creeps up on me later this month. (Send cards and wrinkle cream, please.) I noticed a marked difference in the amount of attention I got the second time around, but when I insisted it was because I was over 30, people told me I was imagining it.

I'm not. According to a new study of more than 81,000 single people between the ages of 25 and 35, there are women who receive significantly more attention online. Those women are 25 and 26. There are also women who receive the least amount of attention. They are 33. You can see which end of the attention spectrum I'm closest to. Eep!


And any woman that has a tinder or other online dating account can assure you that the minimum for women still means you will receive a truly extraordinary and overwhelming number of messages each day. TO the point where it's debilitating
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 16:26     Subject: Re:Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
From Glamour, that noted journal that caters to misogynistic male subscribers....

http://www.glamour.com/story/best-age-for-online-dating-for

Here's the Prime Age for Women for Online Dating—and Why I'm Not That Sad to Be Past It

My first serious foray into online dating came when I was 26 and in the middle of the first of what would be two breakups with the same guy. Round two came when I was 30, and it's still going strong as my 32nd birthday creeps up on me later this month. (Send cards and wrinkle cream, please.) I noticed a marked difference in the amount of attention I got the second time around, but when I insisted it was because I was over 30, people told me I was imagining it.

I'm not. According to a new study of more than 81,000 single people between the ages of 25 and 35, there are women who receive significantly more attention online. Those women are 25 and 26. There are also women who receive the least amount of attention. They are 33. You can see which end of the attention spectrum I'm closest to. Eep!
Anonymous
Post 06/28/2016 16:16     Subject: Drastic Reduction in Female Dating Market Value after 30
Anonymous wrote:I'm a man who got married just before I turned 30. If I started dating at 15 or 16 and met my wife at 27, that's almost 12 years of dating. Who in their right mind would want to date for more years and play those dumb assed games?


Well, a lot of people quit playing "dumb assed games" by the time they are 30.

For me, I dated until I was with someone whom I wanted to marry. When I was 30, I was dating someone who later decided to play intramurals, if you know what I mean. So glad I waited until 35 when I was with the right person for me.