Anonymous
Post 06/11/2016 15:04     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you're going out with new people, and you haven't discussed it before, it's rude to assume they'll be willing to subsidize your meal if you didn't order the same things. It's ruder still to act like THEY are gauche for assuming there would be separate checks c


Totally agree. Some people have money but no class...and that's if these jokers are actually millionaires. If I had a dime for each time someone on DCUM says "we have a seven figure income..."


Why would anyone lie about this on DCUM?

We used to have a 500k income. Then it became 500-800k depending on bonus. Now it is around $1.1-1.4 million.

A few years ago, I wrote we had a $500k+ HHI and random people would accuse this was an exaggeration.

I'm from NYC. I don't feel like we make a ton of money relative to our NYC counterparts. I also don't feel rich because rich people have trust funds.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2016 14:59     Subject: Re:How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We typically split everything down the middle with friends. Someone always has an extra drink or a more expensive meal - if it's friends, are you really keeping track? If there are kids, if we're 4 ppl and you are 5 ppl, divide by 9 and do the math. If it's younger people (nieces/nephews) we pick up the check. Do the same for our kids friends - if they are with us, we're paying. If it's people who are really scraping by, we entertain at home and serve the food we want to and no one expects to pay for that except us.


Voice of reason.

I think it comes down to this: if you can't afford to eat out, DON'T. (And I say this as a person who passed up plenty of invitations during leaner times.)


Being able to afford YOUR MEAL is not the same as being able to afford to pay for the meal of a millionaire buying bottles of wine. Is this really hard to grasp? You are either clueless or deliberately obtuse.


C'mon, if you don't have two dimes to rub together, should you be hanging out with "millionaires" and then bitch that they spend a lot of money?


C'mon, if you're a millionaire, should you be splitting hairs about someone not wanting to pay for your food, or should you just pick up the bill like a decent person??


OP here. I don't talk about our HHI so I doubt others know our HHI. I don't pick my friends based on their incomes. My two favorite friends are a teacher and a SAHM military spouse. They are down to earth and super fun to hang out with. I always pick free or cheap places when hanging out with them because I know they don't have as much money. They are both super generous. Generosity has nothing to do with income.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 21:18     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Bring cash, tally in head + tip, place cash in receipt holder.


Sure but sometimes (often) the people who do this are stingy or can't do math or undertip and then the person figuring out the final tally gets stuck with the difference.


Don't worry about the others. If you are amongst friends, cover their share of the tip. No big deal. If it's coworkers, let that be a lesson and don't eat out with them.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 19:09     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Right, so your new friends are just supposed to go along with paying extra because that's how YOU always do it and they have had the honor of being graced by your presence? If you were so embarassed, why didn't you just pick up the whole tab since you can obviously afford it?

Oh, that's right. You expect other people to subsidize YOUR meals, not vice versa.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 18:58     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:If you're going out with new people, and you haven't discussed it before, it's rude to assume they'll be willing to subsidize your meal if you didn't order the same things. It's ruder still to act like THEY are gauche for assuming there would be separate checks c


Totally agree. Some people have money but no class...and that's if these jokers are actually millionaires. If I had a dime for each time someone on DCUM says "we have a seven figure income..."
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 18:31     Subject: Re:How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We typically split everything down the middle with friends. Someone always has an extra drink or a more expensive meal - if it's friends, are you really keeping track? If there are kids, if we're 4 ppl and you are 5 ppl, divide by 9 and do the math. If it's younger people (nieces/nephews) we pick up the check. Do the same for our kids friends - if they are with us, we're paying. If it's people who are really scraping by, we entertain at home and serve the food we want to and no one expects to pay for that except us.


Voice of reason.

I think it comes down to this: if you can't afford to eat out, DON'T. (And I say this as a person who passed up plenty of invitations during leaner times.)


Being able to afford YOUR MEAL is not the same as being able to afford to pay for the meal of a millionaire buying bottles of wine. Is this really hard to grasp? You are either clueless or deliberately obtuse.


C'mon, if you don't have two dimes to rub together, should you be hanging out with "millionaires" and then bitch that they spend a lot of money?


C'mon, if you're a millionaire, should you be splitting hairs about someone not wanting to pay for your food, or should you just pick up the bill like a decent person??
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 18:28     Subject: Re:How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We typically split everything down the middle with friends. Someone always has an extra drink or a more expensive meal - if it's friends, are you really keeping track? If there are kids, if we're 4 ppl and you are 5 ppl, divide by 9 and do the math. If it's younger people (nieces/nephews) we pick up the check. Do the same for our kids friends - if they are with us, we're paying. If it's people who are really scraping by, we entertain at home and serve the food we want to and no one expects to pay for that except us.


Voice of reason.

I think it comes down to this: if you can't afford to eat out, DON'T. (And I say this as a person who passed up plenty of invitations during leaner times.)


Being able to afford YOUR MEAL is not the same as being able to afford to pay for the meal of a millionaire buying bottles of wine. Is this really hard to grasp? You are either clueless or deliberately obtuse.


C'mon, if you don't have two dimes to rub together, should you be hanging out with "millionaires" and then bitch that they spend a lot of money?
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 17:54     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:Situations differ, but in general if you split bill evenly chances are you'd be paying few dollars over or under what you'd pay if itemized. There's something to be said for keeping it pleasant and tipping generously, so I consider it well worth the money to have a pleasant meal with friends even if I end up paying little more then Suzie.


If it is a few dollars, sure. If you had 4 margaritas and I had a glass of water, no.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 17:53     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
If you're going out with new people, and you haven't discussed it before, it's rude to assume they'll be willing to subsidize your meal if you didn't order the same things. It's ruder still to act like THEY are gauche for assuming there would be separate checks c
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 17:52     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Situations differ, but in general if you split bill evenly chances are you'd be paying few dollars over or under what you'd pay if itemized. There's something to be said for keeping it pleasant and tipping generously, so I consider it well worth the money to have a pleasant meal with friends even if I end up paying little more then Suzie.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 17:46     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As a former server, just split it evenly. Separate checks are a nightmare.


One check itemized by person isn't complicated at all, particularly if everyone pays by CC.


Another former server here, and I agree with PP. Unless you have an operating system that allows you to itemize by customer by default - adding items to Seat 1/Seat 2 etc - it IS a nightmare. Giving the table the check to make notes on, creating new checks for each customer and then splitting off each dish from the original check, in addition to splitting wine/Pellegrino/appetizers/desserts four (or more!) ways equally. It takes forever (as OP noted).


Never worked at a restaurant that didn't have that option. Even so, that's part of the job. People shouldn't have to subsidize someone's meal to make the server happy.


Well, there's a reason why lots of restaurants don't do separate checks, or only allow splitting the bill by X amount of ways. It's a time suck for the server, which leads to lower profits. It forces the server to spend 5+ minutes, which is a LONG TIME when you're waiting tables, standing in front of the computer, splitting everything up, printing everything out, running credit cards, bringing everything back.
"It's part of the job" is a ridiculous thing to say. Why not just bring cash if you know you're going to need to be splitting?


I'm from the Midwest originally and have noticed a huge difference in server attitudes about splitting checks here in DC vs. where I am from. Servers in the city often show annoyance about a request for separate checks. I just don't get this attitude or the arguments defending it that appear in this conversation chain. An 18-20% tip has become a very standard expectation for acceptable service. What are we paying a tip for, if not a few minutes of a server's time to prepare the check in the way that is most convenient for our party!?!?
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 17:12     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:Bring cash, tally in head + tip, place cash in receipt holder.


Sure but sometimes (often) the people who do this are stingy or can't do math or undertip and then the person figuring out the final tally gets stuck with the difference.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 17:06     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seriously. I went to a bday party dinner and ordered a salad and one glass of wine because I'm broke. Everyone else had steaks and millions of glasses of wine. My share of the bill was $225. I was so mad.


I don't believe this.


I don't either.

I am glad places like Chili's and Red Robin have a machine right at the table that allow people to split the bill.

No one that has a seven figure income would be posting something like this, so I don't buy that either.


I think this just proves the point that itemizing is for cheap/poor people.


That is downright not accurate. I have friends that make six figures and they will request a separate check.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 17:03     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seriously. I went to a bday party dinner and ordered a salad and one glass of wine because I'm broke. Everyone else had steaks and millions of glasses of wine. My share of the bill was $225. I was so mad.


I don't believe this.


I don't either.

I am glad places like Chili's and Red Robin have a machine right at the table that allow people to split the bill.

No one that has a seven figure income would be posting something like this, so I don't buy that either.


I think this just proves the poin that itemizing is for cheap/poor people.
Anonymous
Post 06/10/2016 16:34     Subject: How do you split the bill when going out with friends?
Happens at work lunch too. Inevitably friends will get and entree and I will get a salad or burger. So my bill is $20 and theirs is $30. I make sure I have $20s and $10s and settle up w them in cash while they split w credit card.