Anonymous wrote:Honestly, the biggest fear of a boy sleeping over would probably be that my daughter would get pregnant. With another girl, that fear is removed. So I wouldn't be too bothered by a girl sleeping over, even if they were in a "romantic" relationship. I know people will squawk about STIs, but I really don't think 14 year old girls, particularly of a lesbian bent, are cesspools of infection. The risk just seems vanishingly small to me. The only real drawback I can see is that a sexual component to a relationship ups the intensity, and can cause heartbreak when the relationship ends. But that's life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened. "

My 16 y.o. daughter came out last year. My initial thoughts were the same... "You haven't even had a real kiss yet. You have no idea what you want." Then I put myself in her shoes. As a young boy, even pre- Junior High, I LOVED girls. There was never a time when that was even a question! So, yeah, I think at 14 or 16 you have a pretty good idea of who you are attracted to and who you are not.

So nothing has changed in your world view or thinking since you were 16? Interesting.

You didn't know what gender you preferred at 16? I think most people have some idea of it.

I must have been precocious....at 13, I was 100% certain I was straight. No doubts. Why, if the child has a different answer than straight, do we assume they will grow out of it, but if the answer is straight, we assume they know? I will tell you why: homophobia

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

Word ^^. It really is a trend these days. Dont pay too much attention to this nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened. "

My 16 y.o. daughter came out last year. My initial thoughts were the same... "You haven't even had a real kiss yet. You have no idea what you want." Then I put myself in her shoes. As a young boy, even pre- Junior High, I LOVED girls. There was never a time when that was even a question! So, yeah, I think at 14 or 16 you have a pretty good idea of who you are attracted to and who you are not.

So nothing has changed in your world view or thinking since you were 16? Interesting.

You didn't know what gender you preferred at 16? I think most people have some idea of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened. "

My 16 y.o. daughter came out last year. My initial thoughts were the same... "You haven't even had a real kiss yet. You have no idea what you want." Then I put myself in her shoes. As a young boy, even pre- Junior High, I LOVED girls. There was never a time when that was even a question! So, yeah, I think at 14 or 16 you have a pretty good idea of who you are attracted to and who you are not.

So nothing has changed in your world view or thinking since you were 16? Interesting.

Anonymous wrote:"No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened. "

My 16 y.o. daughter came out last year. My initial thoughts were the same... "You haven't even had a real kiss yet. You have no idea what you want." Then I put myself in her shoes. As a young boy, even pre- Junior High, I LOVED girls. There was never a time when that was even a question! So, yeah, I think at 14 or 16 you have a pretty good idea of who you are attracted to and who you are not.

Anonymous wrote:Nope. No sleepovers. Same rules you would have if she were a he.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't pay any attention to this bisexual nonsense from a high school girl. It's the latest cool phase to go through these days.

People have been saying this for decades. Saying it over and over does not make it true.

Absolutely false. What is new now -- and I mean within the last 5 - 10 years, most likely since you were in high school -- is the fadness and trendiness of being bi, gay, transexual, transgendered and anything else you can think of. The in-your-faceness of it is completely new. The stand up and announce! Proclaim! is new. THAT is what is making so many of these kids experiment, to their own eventual detriment. Which of course is the intent.