Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh first, you need to realize that this is your child's grandmother and your DH's mother. That is an important relationship for both of them to have regardless of how you feel about her. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with her but it means that you need to leave them to have their own.

Honestly, as a dog lover, I would have probably pushed the dog off also. We don't allow our dogs on the furniture (and never understand why others do) so my instinct would have been to correct the dog while not even thinking about what I was doing.

I am also positive after having dogs with torn ACLs and hip dysplasia that your dog should be trained gently to not jump up onto any furniture. Do this now so that no further damage is done (which can be done simply getting on and off furniture) but also for post op when your dog should not be doing this at all.

If MIL is abusive and crazy (and she is!), then it is an important relationship for the grandchildren to avoid. We don't spend much time with my abusive, mentally ill MIL for exactly that reason. She wrecked my DH's childhood and young adulthood. He has nothing good to say about her as a parent. Why on earth would we allow her to have a major role in our children's lives?

All we know is she pushed a dog off the couch. If a dog can't take the two foot drop from the couch to the floor, the dog should not be on the couch. Forcefully pushing due to anger is wrong, and kind of violent, but a nudge is not and OP seems a little hysterical so I'm not sure which occurred. We do not know the MIL is crazy. I have a hunch that these two women always hated each other and this has nothing to do with the dog.

MIL was told not to push the dog and she did it anyway, hurting the dog. MIL is crazy or evil. Take your pick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh first, you need to realize that this is your child's grandmother and your DH's mother. That is an important relationship for both of them to have regardless of how you feel about her. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with her but it means that you need to leave them to have their own.

Honestly, as a dog lover, I would have probably pushed the dog off also. We don't allow our dogs on the furniture (and never understand why others do) so my instinct would have been to correct the dog while not even thinking about what I was doing.

I am also positive after having dogs with torn ACLs and hip dysplasia that your dog should be trained gently to not jump up onto any furniture. Do this now so that no further damage is done (which can be done simply getting on and off furniture) but also for post op when your dog should not be doing this at all.

If MIL is abusive and crazy (and she is!), then it is an important relationship for the grandchildren to avoid. We don't spend much time with my abusive, mentally ill MIL for exactly that reason. She wrecked my DH's childhood and young adulthood. He has nothing good to say about her as a parent. Why on earth would we allow her to have a major role in our children's lives?

All we know is she pushed a dog off the couch. If a dog can't take the two foot drop from the couch to the floor, the dog should not be on the couch. Forcefully pushing due to anger is wrong, and kind of violent, but a nudge is not and OP seems a little hysterical so I'm not sure which occurred. We do not know the MIL is crazy. I have a hunch that these two women always hated each other and this has nothing to do with the dog.

I push dogs off of me all the time. I don't like them jumping on me or touching me or licking me (sick). It's why I don't own a dog. If your dog sat on the couch next to me, I might give it a push away, but not hard enough to hurt it. HOWEVER, if you made it clear I'd hurt the dog, I'd apologize because that was not my intention. And then I'd probably avoid your house since I have to treat your dog like a gentle ice crystal and I can't deal with that. I think it's respectful to keep animals away from visitors. I still think your MIL should have apologized for hurting the dog, because hurting an animal isn't ok, eve if it wasn't intentional.

If your dog is in such a delicate condition, I'd keep her away from visitors. If I knew your dog liked the couch, I'd avoid sitting on the couch and sit somewhere else.

It sounds like there are deeper issues here, however. I'd definitely keep the dog away from your MIL in the future.

Anonymous wrote:I shove dogs like that all the time. She probably just forgot about its issues, it's an instinct to push the dog away. I could see myself doing this very easily . Not out of malice . I just don't like dogs and I don't want them near me.

OP said at that moment "Don't push the dog" and she did it anyway. She didn't forget. She decided that OP wasn't going to tell her what to do and pushed the dog. In order to prove a point to her DIL, she injured an animal.

Anonymous wrote:Oh first, you need to realize that this is your child's grandmother and your DH's mother. That is an important relationship for both of them to have regardless of how you feel about her. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with her but it means that you need to leave them to have their own.

Honestly, as a dog lover, I would have probably pushed the dog off also. We don't allow our dogs on the furniture (and never understand why others do) so my instinct would have been to correct the dog while not even thinking about what I was doing.

I am also positive after having dogs with torn ACLs and hip dysplasia that your dog should be trained gently to not jump up onto any furniture. Do this now so that no further damage is done (which can be done simply getting on and off furniture) but also for post op when your dog should not be doing this at all.

If MIL is abusive and crazy (and she is!), then it is an important relationship for the grandchildren to avoid. We don't spend much time with my abusive, mentally ill MIL for exactly that reason. She wrecked my DH's childhood and young adulthood. He has nothing good to say about her as a parent. Why on earth would we allow her to have a major role in our children's lives?

Hurting a pet is never okay. For PPs who are saying the guest's comfort comes first, that is true, but it does not justify putting an animal in pain. OP would've moved the dog if MIL had asked.

MIL is not invited back while the dog is there. Period.

Anonymous wrote:I like dogs, but not when they jump on me or the furniture I'm using, and I can see how someone would push a dog back down to the floor. If your dog is that fragile, you should put it in another room away from visitors. (And seriously, think about having it put down rather than let it suffer like this. I think people lose sight of what truly humane behavior is these days.)

And if you let the dog lick your baby, but then treat your husband's own mother as if she's dirtier than a dog, well, I can see why she's insulted.

+1 I would be skeeved if someone's dog jumped up on the furniture I was on. I wouldn't "push" the dog but I'd definitely nudge it. I think someone who lets their dog on the couch stepped over the threshold of "I have a dog I love" to "my dog is my best friend and we have matching sweaters!". I LOVE my dog btw, but he knows the couch is off limits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP, I'm totally on your side and would be very sad and hurt if anyone did that to my dog.
It's your house and your rules- if the dog is allwed on your couch, nobody has the right to push the dog off. I have a dog and when guests come over the dog gets up by them and I move the dog but never ever ever would I be okay with a guest or family member pushing my dog.
One time a neice said, "OFF" and I got mad at my neice for telling my dog off. My house my rules! I know I"m in the minority, but I don't think you're crazy at all. I wouldn't disown the ML forever, but I would want an apology for sure. It doesn't sound like a sustainable relationship.

That is really disrespectful to your niece who didn't want the dog on her. She has every right to get the dog off her.

Absolutely. To put aside your guests' comfort level with your dog is very rude.

I'm sure there are plenty of hotels in the area. Just sayin'.

I don't understand why you're ganging up on OP. Her house, her rules. I'd never think of providing this level of care to a dog, but WTF. It's her dog, her money, her family.

OP, I'm with DH on this one. It will blow over, so just forget it. Maybe weasel out of the MIL visit next time. You two clearly have no lost love for each other. DH can see her by himself, if he wants to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP, I'm totally on your side and would be very sad and hurt if anyone did that to my dog.
It's your house and your rules- if the dog is allwed on your couch, nobody has the right to push the dog off. I have a dog and when guests come over the dog gets up by them and I move the dog but never ever ever would I be okay with a guest or family member pushing my dog.
One time a neice said, "OFF" and I got mad at my neice for telling my dog off. My house my rules! I know I"m in the minority, but I don't think you're crazy at all. I wouldn't disown the ML forever, but I would want an apology for sure. It doesn't sound like a sustainable relationship.

That is really disrespectful to your niece who didn't want the dog on her. She has every right to get the dog off her.

And she's such a dumbo, she can't even spell "niece."

I do NOT think it's ok for her to shove your dog like that. But can't you see how nuts it is if you let the dog lick the baby yet you ask her to wash her hands??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anyone hurt my dog I would be completely done with them. What a horrible thing to do.

I agree. Peopke who are cruel to animals have mental problems. I would limit contract with grandma and not let her visit you.

Ops perpective is clearly tainted when you read all tyat she is doing to that poor dog to prolongue its misery.

I would not be surprised if MILs "push" was not a push at all but rather a typical nudge one might give any animal that jumped up on furniture to "cuddle" with someone who did not want the thing crawling on them.

So if I do it to a kid, that would be okay? I don't want that on me. Humans are animals, especially untrained children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If anyone hurt my dog I would be completely done with them. What a horrible thing to do.

I agree. Peopke who are cruel to animals have mental problems. I would limit contract with grandma and not let her visit you.

Ops perpective is clearly tainted when you read all tyat she is doing to that poor dog to prolongue its misery.

I would not be surprised if MILs "push" was not a push at all but rather a typical nudge one might give any animal that jumped up on furniture to "cuddle" with someone who did not want the thing crawling on them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I got up as quickly as I could and very firmly stated "do not push her!"

OP lots going on with this situation. Out of curiosity, what was your tone here?

+1 "firmly stated". Pretty sure that means yell or shriek

Anonymous wrote:Oh first, you need to realize that this is your child's grandmother and your DH's mother. That is an important relationship for both of them to have regardless of how you feel about her. It doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with her but it means that you need to leave them to have their own.

Honestly, as a dog lover, I would have probably pushed the dog off also. We don't allow our dogs on the furniture (and never understand why others do) so my instinct would have been to correct the dog while not even thinking about what I was doing.

I am also positive after having dogs with torn ACLs and hip dysplasia that your dog should be trained gently to not jump up onto any furniture. Do this now so that no further damage is done (which can be done simply getting on and off furniture) but also for post op when your dog should not be doing this at all.

Agree.
.i don't believe the problem is MIL.