Anonymous
Post 02/22/2016 22:47     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:

If neither parent wants to make their child the priority for a year or two, what's the point??



Go back to the nanny forum. You have nothing to offer here.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2016 08:24     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:

If neither parent wants to make their child the priority for a year or two, what's the point??



Relax - we both have careers and both our make our kids the priority for a lot longer than a year or two. What does that even mean? You ship yours off to boarding school at age 2????
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2016 06:46     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
^unfortunately this is true. It really doesn't get better, for a long time.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2016 02:00     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:

If neither parent wants to make their child the priority for a year or two, what's the point??



Year or two? We actually find schedule much harder once kids in elem b/c need to be home for homework and SACC is an exhausting environment and long hours there turn some kids into lord of the flies (much less supervision compared to daycare; staff is great but it's pretty much 2 hrs of recess).

And two kids? Already talking about 4 years+ which is basically a career roadblock.

Anonymous
Post 02/22/2016 01:57     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Just because you are not a 1% doesn't mean you don't care about your kids.

Some people have to work. Mortgages or rent needs to get paid. Food costs money. Student loans don't magically disappear when you birth a child. Health insurance isn't free.. Those people aren't not "making their children a priority" it's that people need to earn a living. Not everyone was born with a trust fund or found a rich spouse. Nor does every person aspire to be "parent tracked" and dinged constantly for having offspring.
Anonymous
Post 02/22/2016 01:42     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up


If neither parent wants to make their child the priority for a year or two, what's the point??

Anonymous
Post 02/21/2016 22:00     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you all insane? You fought for this life???


WOHM here. I can't help thinking this too.


Wait, so because a few women on a thread are struggling to figure out how not to look bad with daycare pickup you think women shouldn't aspire to earn a living or have a career?

What is interesting is that I see a lot of perceptions of women on this thread that daycare pick up will be bad for their career, but less tangible stories of women being fired. I'm the PP who was asked to stay until 6, declined so I could get to the nanny in time by continuing to leave at 5:30, found a new job and was offered 40% more to stay (and a flexible schedule to boot).

Employers will try to get away with what they can but not all of us will be fired. We are often afraid of the perception. A (male) member of the senior leadership in my current company (who has kids and a wife with a demanding job, so has a flex schedule so he can take care of things at home) made a great observation: He said women ask for flexibility, and men just take it. I think the tendency is for women to apologize or feel bad for things like leaving at 5, even though they are committed employers who are competent, diligent, and produce great results for the company. We need to get over this mindset.


Great. So we should aspire to ... be one of the ones that aren't fired (while our bosses and coworkers complain about us behind our backs)? Were you trying to depress us even more?


Not trying to depress anyone. My point was that many women are afraid to rock the boat and not all of us should be. there is no one one on my team, man or woman, who has a Sah spouse, so everyone needs flexibility. It's the norm and nothing to be afraid of are depressed about. I don't any of my colleagues or friends who are tied to their desk from 9 to 6 and aren't just starting out in their career.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2016 21:50     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you all insane? You fought for this life???


WOHM here. I can't help thinking this too.


Wait, so because a few women on a thread are struggling to figure out how not to look bad with daycare pickup you think women shouldn't aspire to earn a living or have a career?

What is interesting is that I see a lot of perceptions of women on this thread that daycare pick up will be bad for their career, but less tangible stories of women being fired. I'm the PP who was asked to stay until 6, declined so I could get to the nanny in time by continuing to leave at 5:30, found a new job and was offered 40% more to stay (and a flexible schedule to boot).

Employers will try to get away with what they can but not all of us will be fired. We are often afraid of the perception. A (male) member of the senior leadership in my current company (who has kids and a wife with a demanding job, so has a flex schedule so he can take care of things at home) made a great observation: He said women ask for flexibility, and men just take it. I think the tendency is for women to apologize or feel bad for things like leaving at 5, even though they are committed employers who are competent, diligent, and produce great results for the company. We need to get over this mindset.

Both parents can aspire to whatever career they want, but then who will make the toddler a priority? No one.


Two words: quiet desperation.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2016 21:24     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you all insane? You fought for this life???


WOHM here. I can't help thinking this too.


Wait, so because a few women on a thread are struggling to figure out how not to look bad with daycare pickup you think women shouldn't aspire to earn a living or have a career?

What is interesting is that I see a lot of perceptions of women on this thread that daycare pick up will be bad for their career, but less tangible stories of women being fired. I'm the PP who was asked to stay until 6, declined so I could get to the nanny in time by continuing to leave at 5:30, found a new job and was offered 40% more to stay (and a flexible schedule to boot).

Employers will try to get away with what they can but not all of us will be fired. We are often afraid of the perception. A (male) member of the senior leadership in my current company (who has kids and a wife with a demanding job, so has a flex schedule so he can take care of things at home) made a great observation: He said women ask for flexibility, and men just take it. I think the tendency is for women to apologize or feel bad for things like leaving at 5, even though they are committed employers who are competent, diligent, and produce great results for the company. We need to get over this mindset.

Both parents can aspire to whatever career they want, but then who will make the toddler a priority? No one.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2016 21:17     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you all insane? You fought for this life???


WOHM here. I can't help thinking this too.


Wait, so because a few women on a thread are struggling to figure out how not to look bad with daycare pickup you think women shouldn't aspire to earn a living or have a career?

What is interesting is that I see a lot of perceptions of women on this thread that daycare pick up will be bad for their career, but less tangible stories of women being fired. I'm the PP who was asked to stay until 6, declined so I could get to the nanny in time by continuing to leave at 5:30, found a new job and was offered 40% more to stay (and a flexible schedule to boot).

Employers will try to get away with what they can but not all of us will be fired. We are often afraid of the perception. A (male) member of the senior leadership in my current company (who has kids and a wife with a demanding job, so has a flex schedule so he can take care of things at home) made a great observation: He said women ask for flexibility, and men just take it. I think the tendency is for women to apologize or feel bad for things like leaving at 5, even though they are committed employers who are competent, diligent, and produce great results for the company. We need to get over this mindset.


Great. So we should aspire to ... be one of the ones that aren't fired (while our bosses and coworkers complain about us behind our backs)? Were you trying to depress us even more?
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2016 13:11     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Geez people. OP is trying to leave at 5. 5!!! Working 8/8:30-5 is a typical schedule and a full day. She's not trying to leave at 2:30 every day. Even if many of her CW's stay until 6, she's still with them the vast majority of the day so there's plenty of time to get stuff done collaboratively.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2016 11:37     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you all insane? You fought for this life???


WOHM here. I can't help thinking this too.


Wait, so because a few women on a thread are struggling to figure out how not to look bad with daycare pickup you think women shouldn't aspire to earn a living or have a career?

What is interesting is that I see a lot of perceptions of women on this thread that daycare pick up will be bad for their career, but less tangible stories of women being fired. I'm the PP who was asked to stay until 6, declined so I could get to the nanny in time by continuing to leave at 5:30, found a new job and was offered 40% more to stay (and a flexible schedule to boot).

Employers will try to get away with what they can but not all of us will be fired. We are often afraid of the perception. A (male) member of the senior leadership in my current company (who has kids and a wife with a demanding job, so has a flex schedule so he can take care of things at home) made a great observation: He said women ask for flexibility, and men just take it. I think the tendency is for women to apologize or feel bad for things like leaving at 5, even though they are committed employers who are competent, diligent, and produce great results for the company. We need to get over this mindset.


great post! Ever since I had kids I take the attitude that sick leave and flex time are there for a reason, and that as long as I am getting my work done (which includes overtime and late nights as needed) then I am doing ok. I firmly believe that it would be impossible for an employer to never hire people of childbearing age, so I take it as a given that I can work my family responsibilities into my schedule without compromising my job in any way. At the same time, I have made flexibility and the presence of other mothers in the office one of the things I look for at the outset when applying for new jobs so I don't end up in some sexist hellhole. And even without kids I would never want a 60 hr/week job so that has never been an issue for me. I'd say the only thing I have had to compromise on was not applying for jobs that might require a lot of travel, since I don't like to be away from my kid for long stretches.
Anonymous
Post 02/21/2016 10:04     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you all insane? You fought for this life???


WOHM here. I can't help thinking this too.


Wait, so because a few women on a thread are struggling to figure out how not to look bad with daycare pickup you think women shouldn't aspire to earn a living or have a career?

What is interesting is that I see a lot of perceptions of women on this thread that daycare pick up will be bad for their career, but less tangible stories of women being fired. I'm the PP who was asked to stay until 6, declined so I could get to the nanny in time by continuing to leave at 5:30, found a new job and was offered 40% more to stay (and a flexible schedule to boot).

Employers will try to get away with what they can but not all of us will be fired. We are often afraid of the perception. A (male) member of the senior leadership in my current company (who has kids and a wife with a demanding job, so has a flex schedule so he can take care of things at home) made a great observation: He said women ask for flexibility, and men just take it. I think the tendency is for women to apologize or feel bad for things like leaving at 5, even though they are committed employers who are competent, diligent, and produce great results for the company. We need to get over this mindset.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2016 20:27     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:Are you all insane? You fought for this life???


WOHM here. I can't help thinking this too.
Anonymous
Post 02/20/2016 14:34     Subject: Career vs daycare pick up
Anonymous wrote:I haven't read everything yet, but these are expectations you need to set BEFORE you start the job. I've made it clear that I need to leave at 4:30 every day and they deal with it.


+1 I work 7:45-4:45 because that's when I need to leave for kid pick-up. DH does the morning routine/drop off. I requested those hours when I accepted the job and it's never been a problem. But my department is very accommodating to flexible hours -- a few of us come in early to leave between 4:30-5. A couple others come in really late (11am) and then work late either because of horrible commutes or because they work a lot with West coast clients.