Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many reasons not to have playdates, seriously...

+1! My DC is just 6 months and I am simultaneously entertained and horrified by these stories! It's making me nervous for down the road!

Anonymous wrote:This was actually when I was a kid. The younger sibling of my friend spilled most of my sea monkey tank. I remember being so annoyed that the younger sib had to tag along and wreak havoc on my prehistoric underwater kingdom.
We've also had the entirety of a bottle of shamp

Anonymous wrote:So many reasons not to have playdates, seriously...

Anonymous wrote:Had the neighborhood boy (6 then) over to play with DD (4.5). THey were best friends and played often together along with my older DD and boy's older sister.
Mom came to pick him up. Several hours later I noticed younger DD"s fish tank was empty. Call boy and mother over. We searched the house. Boy kept quiet and played dump when asked where the fish was.

Finally found the fish in a Dixie cup behind bedroom door.

It was dead.

Needless to say, he didn't come over and play unsupervised after that.

Anonymous wrote:So many reasons not to have playdates, seriously...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:**Let me preface this by saying I nursed both my boys until they were 1, and they didn't love covers and I did nurse in public but tries to walk a line between comfort and being disscreet.

I went to a new friends home for a play date with our 3 year olds and her 2 year old. I knew she was a little hippie crunchy and really liked her from our interactions at preschool.
She answered the door with a men's shirt on, unbuttoned to her navel, and as soon as I was in there she undid the whole thing so it was casually open in front, with full view of both large boobs, so her 2 year old could walk up whenever he wanted and have a drink.
So we sat at her kitchen table drinking coffee while she had both boobs out and would occasionally have to lean over when she felt her son tug and want a drink.
I fought a furious battle in my head trying to be open and nonjudgmental that I ultimately lost after futily trying to look anywhere, anywhere else but at her chest. It was like Jesus himself was beckoning me to look, I literally could not *not* see them, like they were following me or a weird Mona Lisa type thing.
I was so exhausted from the effort to not think it was weird and be normal that I had to take a Tylenol and go to bed.

I just laughed so hard at this that I got a "wtf" look from my puppy. I nursed mine until 2 1/2 and I can't imagine doing that, in front of a new friend at that. Thanks for the laugh, PP!

That IS funny. I also nursed both my kids past age 2, but most of the nursing past age 18 months happened at home w/o visitors!
It reminds me of my own odd playdate with a new friend....we had grabbed cold coffees and were at a nearby park, and she kept alternating between nursing her two year old (not discreetly) and giving the toddler her own iced hemp milk mocha cappuchino. I kept wondering *what* are you doing? Are you seriously giving a toddler breast milk, hemp milk, and caffeine all the same time ? She was actually a neurologist turned sahm so it wasn't lack of smarts....it was just odd!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.

Yes. As per bolded I always explain if it's during the workday I can't be around. They have insisted that's no big deal, a couple have even bonded with our nanny (who's young and awesome and fun to be around) but a couple have only requested to come over during the week once and then switched to weekends/evenings. My take was that they didn't think I was serious that I have to work during the day.

I have three kids so you don't need to instruct me on what playdates are about A good playdate is of course as much about the caregivers/parents getting along as the kids (and the best have booze, but hey...) -- no reason caregivers and parents can't become friends unless you're classist.

No, that is not an explanation. That is a statement about the total number of hours you work per week. I work full time, but that does not mean that I work from 8-5; I don't. Clearly you aren't explaining it as they "like, NEVER" understand. Why don't you just say, I will have to be upstairs working during that whole time. THAT would explain it. Instead you have repeatedly put people in awkward positions without ever acknowledging that your lack of communication could have caused the problem.

Not to pile on, but I'm mystified why, if you say "we would love to see Clara at 10 am to play with Stella, but just so you know I will be working in my office and our nanny Susan will be there to supervise the children and looks forward to getting to know you if you are going to stay while the girls stay."

Why is that not said, and how is that unclear

Yeah I think you're doing it wrong. For example, if you say something like: "A playdate? Well, I work full time but you are welcome to bring little Jimmy over on Thursday" I would find that ambiguous -- you work full time but you're inviting us over with no other qualifiers so maybe you're taking the morning off to make special time for us? Or maybe you'd have a caretaker there to watch the kids, but since you didn't mention them, I wouldn't be sure.

If you said instead, "A playdate? I work full time so I can say hi when you arrive but then my nanny will be there to take over" I would understand exactly. I mean, I'm a SAHM but I'm also a lawyer with an ivy league degree -- I'm not stupid. If I tried this once at your house and then didn't reschedule to do it again, it's not because I'm too dumb to understand you. It's because I'm game to try new things, but I'm not so desperate for activities that I'll agree to repeat a dull one over and over. Maybe your nanny and I didn't click, or maybe now that I've seen the kids play together one on one or talked to your nanny for a while there are some things I wanted to talk to you directly about.

Pro tip: SAHMs can actually understand you when you use your words to speak to us, EVEN THOUGH YOU WORK FULL TIME.

Anonymous wrote:After a (new) playmate left our house, our 2nd grade son came to us and said, "I don't think I'm suppose to have these" They were firecrackers. Given to him, in our house, by the "new" friend. I couldn't believe that under my watch something terrible could have happened, right inside our house. I had answered the door, greeted the son and father - probably taken the boy's coat - and yet he had brought firecrackers into our house. BUT it gets more bizarre - - I'm thinking OMG these parents have no idea their son came with these firecrackers so I call the parents. The mother was apologetic but said, "I'm so sorry, when my husband dropped off our son, he was suppose to ask you if your son could have the firecrackers" WHAT??! On what planet do new friends come bearing gifts of firecrackers? I was angry/upset, so the mother got off the phone quickly saying she wanted her husband to talk to me. Later that evening the husband called. Said he knew I was upset and knew why. He had made a mistake. He said, "because, as it turned out, the firecrackers we brought were MUCH more dangerous than the firecrackers we meant to give you."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:**Let me preface this by saying I nursed both my boys until they were 1, and they didn't love covers and I did nurse in public but tries to walk a line between comfort and being disscreet.

I went to a new friends home for a play date with our 3 year olds and her 2 year old. I knew she was a little hippie crunchy and really liked her from our interactions at preschool.
She answered the door with a men's shirt on, unbuttoned to her navel, and as soon as I was in there she undid the whole thing so it was casually open in front, with full view of both large boobs, so her 2 year old could walk up whenever he wanted and have a drink.
So we sat at her kitchen table drinking coffee while she had both boobs out and would occasionally have to lean over when she felt her son tug and want a drink.
I fought a furious battle in my head trying to be open and nonjudgmental that I ultimately lost after futily trying to look anywhere, anywhere else but at her chest. It was like Jesus himself was beckoning me to look, I literally could not *not* see them, like they were following me or a weird Mona Lisa type thing.
I was so exhausted from the effort to not think it was weird and be normal that I had to take a Tylenol and go to bed.

I just laughed so hard at this that I got a "wtf" look from my puppy. I nursed mine until 2 1/2 and I can't imagine doing that, in front of a new friend at that. Thanks for the laugh, PP!