Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 20:34     Subject: Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can never go wrong teaching your kids to err on the side of being more polite and formal than less so.


Agree. Please teach them SOMETHING, whether it's sir/ ma'am, or Mr/ Mrs... I don't tolerate children calling me by my first name, or Miss _____. My name to children is Mrs Lastname, and if they say sir and ma'am as well, I know the parents have invested in their child's future by teaching them respect.


Respect is earned, dummy.


And you did not earn mine. (NP, BTW)
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 20:29     Subject: Re:Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:

All the parent has to say is 'Oh Larla, you don't have to say that here!' and it's done. It is much better to err on the side of more respect than less.


It's not "more respect". It's "more polite" (assuming that it is more polite, which it isn't necessarily).
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 20:28     Subject: Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Husband grew up very old fashioned. He is African American. I grew up in a very laid back household. I am white. Husband wants children to say, "yes sir" and "yes mam." I find it very odd and weird because it's very slave like lingo to me. As if you are saying "yes sir, master." Your take?


Geeze, if teaching children to be polite and respectful is 'slave like lingo, we're really hitting bottom.


As the white member of a biracial couple, I suspect the OP is much more empathetic than others.


White people who marry black people have more empathy than white people who marry white people? Is that what you are saying?
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:56     Subject: Re:Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:OP I am from the south and am raising my kids here in DC. They are 12 and 10 and ALWAYS say ma'am, sir, etc., along with the standard please and thank you.

I cannot tell you how many times over the course of their conversationally speaking lives (going on 10 years now) DH and I have been complimented on this. It happens so frequently ("your children have SUCH beautiful manners...") that it's becoming a running joke in our family. There is nothing else that they are doing (like holding doors or chairs for adults, for example) that people could be referring to -- it's all strictly based on that simple "sir/ ma'am" that they always now (by habit) use.

It has made them stand out in so many ways. If you want your kids to be noticed in a positive way, do it.


Exactly the same thing with us. We are southerners temporarily in DC. My kids' teachers gush over their manners. Everywhere we go we hear about how great our kids are and how good manners seem to be a thing of the past. My kids are actually just typical teenagers. The yes ma'am, yes sir... stuff makes them appear much better than they actually are.

In the south, no one even notices. In DC, people compliment them on their manners constantly.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:42     Subject: Re:Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Having children say 'yes, sir or yes, mam' makes me feel really uncomfortable. ('icky' as PP said) Grew up in the DC/VA area and it was basically unheard of.
Kids can be taught to be extremely polite and respectful, not necessary to make them sound like they are little soldiers in the military.


Except that there are clearly many other settings than the military where it is acceptable. Your negative association doesn't make it the wrong thing to do.


It does make it the not-appropriate-everywhere thing to do, though. Or at least it contributes to it. I'm not the PP you're responding to.


All the parent has to say is 'Oh Larla, you don't have to say that here!' and it's done. It is much better to err on the side of more respect than less.

+1
This. I don't see why anyone would argue against this.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:37     Subject: Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
I'm from ny. My kid can find other ways to show her respect to me. I wouldn't allow it.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:32     Subject: Re:Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Having children say 'yes, sir or yes, mam' makes me feel really uncomfortable. ('icky' as PP said) Grew up in the DC/VA area and it was basically unheard of.
Kids can be taught to be extremely polite and respectful, not necessary to make them sound like they are little soldiers in the military.


Except that there are clearly many other settings than the military where it is acceptable. Your negative association doesn't make it the wrong thing to do.


It does make it the not-appropriate-everywhere thing to do, though. Or at least it contributes to it. I'm not the PP you're responding to.


All the parent has to say is 'Oh Larla, you don't have to say that here!' and it's done. It is much better to err on the side of more respect than less.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:17     Subject: Re:Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
OP I am from the south and am raising my kids here in DC. They are 12 and 10 and ALWAYS say ma'am, sir, etc., along with the standard please and thank you.

I cannot tell you how many times over the course of their conversationally speaking lives (going on 10 years now) DH and I have been complimented on this. It happens so frequently ("your children have SUCH beautiful manners...") that it's becoming a running joke in our family. There is nothing else that they are doing (like holding doors or chairs for adults, for example) that people could be referring to -- it's all strictly based on that simple "sir/ ma'am" that they always now (by habit) use.

It has made them stand out in so many ways. If you want your kids to be noticed in a positive way, do it.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:13     Subject: Re:Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Having children say 'yes, sir or yes, mam' makes me feel really uncomfortable. ('icky' as PP said) Grew up in the DC/VA area and it was basically unheard of.
Kids can be taught to be extremely polite and respectful, not necessary to make them sound like they are little soldiers in the military.


Except that there are clearly many other settings than the military where it is acceptable. Your negative association doesn't make it the wrong thing to do.


It does make it the not-appropriate-everywhere thing to do, though. Or at least it contributes to it. I'm not the PP you're responding to.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:10     Subject: Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can never go wrong teaching your kids to err on the side of being more polite and formal than less so.


Agree. Please teach them SOMETHING, whether it's sir/ ma'am, or Mr/ Mrs... I don't tolerate children calling me by my first name, or Miss _____. My name to children is Mrs Lastname, and if they say sir and ma'am as well, I know the parents have invested in their child's future by teaching them respect.


No, you don't. All you know is that the parents have taught their children to address adults by Mr./Mrs. Lastname and sir/ma'am.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:03     Subject: Re:Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Having children say 'yes, sir or yes, mam' makes me feel really uncomfortable. ('icky' as PP said) Grew up in the DC/VA area and it was basically unheard of.
Kids can be taught to be extremely polite and respectful, not necessary to make them sound like they are little soldiers in the military.


Except that there are clearly many other settings than the military where it is acceptable. Your negative association doesn't make it the wrong thing to do.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 19:01     Subject: Re:Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"

Having children say 'yes, sir or yes, mam' makes me feel really uncomfortable. ('icky' as PP said) Grew up in the DC/VA area and it was basically unheard of.
Kids can be taught to be extremely polite and respectful, not necessary to make them sound like they are little soldiers in the military.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 18:56     Subject: Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can never go wrong teaching your kids to err on the side of being more polite and formal than less so.


Agree. Please teach them SOMETHING, whether it's sir/ ma'am, or Mr/ Mrs... I don't tolerate children calling me by my first name, or Miss _____. My name to children is Mrs Lastname, and if they say sir and ma'am as well, I know the parents have invested in their child's future by teaching them respect.


Respect is earned, dummy.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 18:49     Subject: Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can never go wrong teaching your kids to err on the side of being more polite and formal than less so.


Agree. Please teach them SOMETHING, whether it's sir/ ma'am, or Mr/ Mrs... I don't tolerate children calling me by my first name, or Miss _____. My name to children is Mrs Lastname, and if they say sir and ma'am as well, I know the parents have invested in their child's future by teaching them respect.

+1
Agree 100%
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2016 18:37     Subject: Having children say "yes sir" or "yes mam"
Anonymous wrote:You can never go wrong teaching your kids to err on the side of being more polite and formal than less so.


Agree. Please teach them SOMETHING, whether it's sir/ ma'am, or Mr/ Mrs... I don't tolerate children calling me by my first name, or Miss _____. My name to children is Mrs Lastname, and if they say sir and ma'am as well, I know the parents have invested in their child's future by teaching them respect.