Op, try getting off the internet

PLEASE ask her to go to marriage counseling before you do something you might regret (affair). If she doesn't want to try to work on your marriage, then you should consider a divorce. Good luck.

Yuck (escort/porn).

First, tell her that you LOVE how she looks (fib a little, it's ok), tell her she still turns you on. Don't make it a weight issue (that will kill it). Be honest how sex is really important to you. I think it's awkward for couples to have sex after going long periods without it, but once you start it's FINE. Get her drunk. Do something really fun (go to a bar, get a babysitter). Have caffeine, so she doesn't crash. Make her feel GREAT. Give her cash to buy new weekend clothes. Make it about treating HER. Not so you can have better eye candy.

Exercise together. Don't make it about her being fat or losing weight! Lay off the porn and stop goggling women on the subway. Everyone looks different. Your expectations may be unrealistic?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazingly, women never have any libido problems during the courtship phase. It's shocking I tell you! No headaches, tiredness, chores, feeling non-sexy, etc. etc. before the ring goes on the finger.

Because their men were not treating them like a piece of furniture during that time.

It's not uncommon for good men who treat their wives well to have bad sex lives. It's also not uncommon for women to have sex with assholes who treat them poorly. So, the evidence for your assertion about causation is pretty thin.

The evidence that this is ALWAYS the case is thin. But this is human psychology, not physics. Of course there are exceptions. There are 3 billion people, and each of them is a unique individual. Just because there are exceptions doesn't mean it is not true for MANY or the MAJORITY of couples.

You make it sound like a rounding error or something. I don't think it is. My guess is that, in general, assholes early in relationships get laid more often than good husbands several years into a relationship. Novelty has a lot more to do with libido than "men treating women like a piece of furniture."

Have you asked her what she finds enjoyable and done that? When my husband was just focused on satisfying himself, making myself available for his use wasn't exactly an enticing concept - even though overall, I hadn't lost my drive.

When he became a less selfish lover, we started doing it almost every day. That kept up for about a year, then he started getting lazy again and now we're back to once a month. I miss it, but I don't miss being used, so if the choice is going without or being used, I prefer to abstain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amazingly, women never have any libido problems during the courtship phase. It's shocking I tell you! No headaches, tiredness, chores, feeling non-sexy, etc. etc. before the ring goes on the finger.

Because their men were not treating them like a piece of furniture during that time.

It's not uncommon for good men who treat their wives well to have bad sex lives. It's also not uncommon for women to have sex with assholes who treat them poorly. So, the evidence for your assertion about causation is pretty thin.

The evidence that this is ALWAYS the case is thin. But this is human psychology, not physics. Of course there are exceptions. There are 3 billion people, and each of them is a unique individual. Just because there are exceptions doesn't mean it is not true for MANY or the MAJORITY of couples.

Your argument is valid but your count is off by about 4 billion.