Anonymous wrote:What I don't understand is, why in the hell would you haul the birthday cake out to the pizza place or wherever in the first place if you weren't going to have cake there? It makes no sense.

You wouldn't. I call BS.

What I don't understand is, why in the hell would you haul the birthday cake out to the pizza place or wherever in the first place if you weren't going to have cake there? It makes no sense.

Not serving cake or opening presents at the big part is rude, but having a small sleepover afterwards is not rude.

Where is OP? Oh, I know...she is laughing. A successful troll.

It was handled horribly. Absolutely horribly.

I'm another one from the 80's who remembers some kids being invited to the party, and some stayed afterwards. And.. horrors.. not everyone was invited to the party.

You answered your own question when you asked the question. because they are idiots.

Op here- first, I don't blame anyone for not wanting certain amount of kids to spend the night. But then don't have s big party! Just invite those "selected few"- or have the "A team" of closest friends spend the night the next weekend. It is absolutely rude and insensitive to only have some of the kids at the party go on to sleepover.
As for the cake, it was at the pizza place on a table with the gifts. One kid asked if they were going to cut the cake and the birthday boy said "not here, we are going to take that home for the sleepover". My son was more disappointed that the boy wasn't going to open the gifts. Honrstly, he spent some of his money for the gift. He wanted to buy a football that was regulation size or something- I don't know- but I told him how much I would spend and he wanted the expensive ball so he paid the difference.
But when he told me story, I could not believe it. The fact is, kids will talk! All the kids knew that some were spending the night. Rude rude rude!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Just because you too decide to be rude doesn't make it not rude. it's not very nice.

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

Bullshit. This was not universal back in the day.

Absolutely was not the standard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Just because you too decide to be rude doesn't make it not rude. it's not very nice.

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

Bullshit. This was not universal back in the day.

Anonymous wrote:

I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party

Call Total BS on this. It's not going to happen this way.
And NO is didn't "happen in the 70's"
rude rude rude

Totally agree. I'm another child of the 70s and no way did that happen with any regularity in my social circles. My parents and my friends' parents wouldn't have tolerated it. Totally rude.

Another 70s kid who remembers parties where half of the class or more met up at the roller rink or movies and then a few best friends slept over. That was the norm at my school.

I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party

Call Total BS on this. It's not going to happen this way.
And NO is didn't "happen in the 70's"
rude rude rude

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Just because you too decide to be rude doesn't make it not rude. it's not very nice.

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching papa their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

Another seventies kid who never experienced it. Damaging the lengths folks will go to to justify bad behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Just because you too decide to be rude doesn't make it not rude. it's not very nice.

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

I went to a couple of these sorts of parties in the 70s, but they were nothing like what the OP is describing. You'd have the big party at the roller rink (or wherever) and everyone there would have food and cake. Later, your close friends would come over for a sleepover. There was no hoarding of cake or other special things for the A team.

Yeah, I grew up here in the 80s. This was normal for me and my other classmates, especially for middle grades 5th-8th. It wasn't about hoarding gifts, it was about hanging out with your classmates. A big group at laser tag or bowling and then a smaller (and less annoying to the parents) group for the sleepover.
Sure, it "hurt" that you were not on the "A" list, but only because it meant you weren't super "popular". And the "hurt" was momentary, I mean why would you want be on the "A" list if the person wasn't a really good friend of yours? And why would you want to sleepover at their house?

What is rude is saving the cake, ect for the sleepover. And, actually, it's more weird than rude. Popcorn, slice and bake cookies, s'mores, ect are for the sleepover.

Anonymous wrote:My DD went to a party a few weeks ago where the mom was inviting a few kids to spend the night at the end of the party, when everyone was there for pickup. Dang! Have enough class to at least text those parents instead of doing it out in the open in front of your guests and their parents.

That is terrible. I can only imagine how my son would feel if he wasn't invited. I certainly would not include that mother as a friend; her behavior shows her character.