Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like working, and I feel like I'm adding value to my family on several levels. I've done both (SAH and work) and to tell you the truth, I think I'd be ashamed to stay home at this point. It's certainly a luxury for your family, but at what cost to you, as an individual? It's not the life I want for ME. Each person has to figure out what makes them tick, and I have many many friends who happily stay home and contribute in that way and are pleased to do so.

I completely agree with this. I also agree with the poster who said that there is no point in raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids whose entire purpose is raising kids. Our lives as individuals end when we have children? No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:I like working, and I feel like I'm adding value to my family on several levels. I've done both (SAH and work) and to tell you the truth, I think I'd be ashamed to stay home at this point. It's certainly a luxury for your family, but at what cost to you, as an individual? It's not the life I want for ME. Each person has to figure out what makes them tick, and I have many many friends who happily stay home and contribute in that way and are pleased to do so.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

I'm not smug, bitter or have a superiority complex simply because I think differently than you do. Your insults do not make you right, they just make you kind of ugly. So you think choosing to stay at home is a worthwhile goal. Good for you. I think it is a risky choice and basically irresponsible. Husbands can become disabled, die (which is objectively a horrible thing no one would want to wish on anyone), or leave. Objectively speaking, this would have devastating consequences on a SAHM's quality of life (except, perhaps for the very, very rich) and therefore, is a risky choice for any able bodied adult who can support themselves and their families.

You give a passionate defense of SAHM for a time. I'm glad it worked for you. I didn't comment on women like you. I don't respect women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM. You do. Fine, we feel differently. I do not feel the need to insult them as you felt the need to insult me. This is why I say their decisions are meaningless to me. We do agree in that my choices are equally meaningless to them. They don't need my respect. They're calculating their risk, maybe, and living their lives. Go them. But I still think it's an irresponsible choice and living off another person is risky and irresponsible. Big deal. They don't care. However, I know more than one SAHM whose choice ended up making their life difficult and think they should have counted on self sufficiency because it's hard to see people put all their eggs in one basket and see that basket break.

What I'm tired of reading on this board is that there is something about SAH that makes a person a better parent than one that WOH. IRL, I know SAHMs and WOHMs and SAHDs and WOHDs, and guess what, they're all great parents.

Boy, are you a hypocrite. You accuse me of insulting you after you throw out insults of your own in your first post. Implying that SAHMs "rely on a man to support them" and that you "don't have much respect" for women who choose to be SAHMs (for however long - really, none of your business). Women who SAH are not "living off another person." They are an invaluable part of the parenting team. It's incredible to me that people pay such lip service to the childcare providers who take care of your children, but see no hypocrisy in snottily dismissing women who choose to care for their own children. Imagine that - what a novel idea.

So, to be clear, you absolutely did feel the need to insult women who SAH indefinitely, as if somehow you know better than they what works best for their families. I suggest you stick to running your own life and refrain from judging people you've never met, who make choices that are different from your own.

Wow spare us the histrionics. If your life is financed by someone else, you are not supporting yourself or your family. The breadwinner is.

Suppose you are a single parent and your parents are paying your rent and food. Yes you are choosing to not work to raise your
Own children but you are absolutely living off someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I only asked because I seem to come across women who work and bemoan their jobs and wish their DH made more so they could just be a SAHM.

I also know women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM.

I love my job and I'm proud of the fact that I can support myself, use my brain on a daily basis, and am a responsible adult (not relying on a man to support me).

I don't know a single woman who works and bemoans her job and wishes to stay at home. I do know a few women whose entire goal is to be a SAHM. I don't have much respect for them, but their life choices are meaningless to me but can well be unfortunate choices for them in the future.

Wow, are you smug. I'm a WOHM but used to be a SAHM. While I enjoy my current career, I can honestly say that the most meaningful time of my life were the eight years I stayed home with my kids. My experience is completely different than yours in that all of the women I work with would trade their careers for being at home with their kids any day. We've had many conversations about this very subject, and those who never stayed home with their kids deeply regret it now.

Guess what: choosing to be a SAHM, either temporarily or permanently, is a worthwhile goal. When I was at home, our family ran smoothly and everyone was happy and calm. The kids were never hustled out of the house at the crack of dawn and left in daycare or with a nanny for all hours. I will be forever grateful that their childhood was marked not by a blur of frantic childcare juggling, but steady, consistent care from a parent - and I will be forever grateful that I got to be that parent.

Maybe you should check your superiority complex and realize that your life choices are meaningless to others as well. Good thing we can all do what's right for our own families rather than trying to impress bitter people like yourself.

I'm not smug, bitter or have a superiority complex simply because I think differently than you do. Your insults do not make you right, they just make you kind of ugly. So you think choosing to stay at home is a worthwhile goal. Good for you. I think it is a risky choice and basically irresponsible. Husbands can become disabled, die (which is objectively a horrible thing no one would want to wish on anyone), or leave. Objectively speaking, this would have devastating consequences on a SAHM's quality of life (except, perhaps for the very, very rich) and therefore, is a risky choice for any able bodied adult who can support themselves and their families.

You give a passionate defense of SAHM for a time. I'm glad it worked for you. I didn't comment on women like you. I don't respect women whose entire goal in life is to be a SAHM. You do. Fine, we feel differently. I do not feel the need to insult them as you felt the need to insult me. This is why I say their decisions are meaningless to me. We do agree in that my choices are equally meaningless to them. They don't need my respect. They're calculating their risk, maybe, and living their lives. Go them. But I still think it's an irresponsible choice and living off another person is risky and irresponsible. Big deal. They don't care. However, I know more than one SAHM whose choice ended up making their life difficult and think they should have counted on self sufficiency because it's hard to see people put all their eggs in one basket and see that basket break.

What I'm tired of reading on this board is that there is something about SAH that makes a person a better parent than one that WOH. IRL, I know SAHMs and WOHMs and SAHDs and WOHDs, and guess what, they're all great parents.

Boy, are you a hypocrite. You accuse me of insulting you after you throw out insults of your own in your first post. Implying that SAHMs "rely on a man to support them" and that you "don't have much respect" for women who choose to be SAHMs (for however long - really, none of your business). Women who SAH are not "living off another person." They are an invaluable part of the parenting team. It's incredible to me that people pay such lip service to the childcare providers who take care of your children, but see no hypocrisy in snottily dismissing women who choose to care for their own children. Imagine that - what a novel idea.

So, to be clear, you absolutely did feel the need to insult women who SAH indefinitely, as if somehow you know better than they what works best for their families. I suggest you stick to running your own life and refrain from judging people you've never met, who make choices that are different from your own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And why wouldn't a woman enjoy working/ I really don't understand the premise of this question. No one ever asks men if they actually like working because it's something they DO. This kind of attitude makes it difficult for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. Seriously, like it's a hobby.

Are you new here? This place is full of threads and posts by women who whine to the heavens about how they can't stay at home and have to work.

The reason why men aren't asked this question is because NOBODY CARES. They are expected to work and provide for their money grubbing wives and families. No one asks if they like working, they're EXPECTED to work.

Anonymous wrote:I hate working because I'm lazy, and would generally rather read, eat or sleep that work.

But I hate not working because my work is actually meaningful and interesting, and I'd feel like shit if I didn't do it. When I've done good work I feel happy and proud. My work brings me respect, recognition and satisfaction.

I think we're here on earth to do something to make the world a little better and more just, not just to raise kids who will grow up to raise kids who will grow up to raise kids. Also, I was brought up by a single mother and can't imagine ever being financially dependent on a man for my livelihood and that of my children. I love my husband and he does fine but earning a good income is part of my sense of self-worth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And why wouldn't a woman enjoy working/ I really don't understand the premise of this question. No one ever asks men if they actually like working because it's something they DO. This kind of attitude makes it difficult for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. Seriously, like it's a hobby.

Are you new here? This place is full of threads and posts by women who whine to the heavens about how they can't stay at home and have to work.

The reason why men aren't asked this question is because NOBODY CARES. They are expected to work and provide for their money grubbing wives and families. No one asks if they like working, they're EXPECTED to work.

Anonymous wrote:And why wouldn't a woman enjoy working/ I really don't understand the premise of this question. No one ever asks men if they actually like working because it's something they DO. This kind of attitude makes it difficult for women to be taken seriously in the workplace. Seriously, like it's a hobby.