Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the women that don't wear a ring at all, aren't you worried about being hit on? Most men look at the ring finger first. I get not wearing a diamond in some circumstances, but give the men an idea by looking if you are potentially available or not.

LOL. No. This is not even in my list of top 1000 concerns in life.

According to DCUM men don't hit on women over the age of 30 unless they have a really tight ass so, no, I'm not worried about it. Also, even if someone were (gasp) to hit on me, I know how to say "no" or "sorry, I'm married."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - talk to her. Find out what she'd like. I'm in my mid 30s, dating a guy who is late 30s, and the conversation came up pretty quickly when some of our friends got engaged - it didn't make me scared thinking he was going to propose immediately, and it didn't make him scared thinking that's what I was gunning for.

If you don't know anyone getting engaged/married - make it up! Say someone at your office (who she doesn't know) just got engaged and women were talking about rings, and how someone said she wanted a Tiffany ring, or something specific, and see what she says. If you really don't want to talk to her, and you are absolutely set on proposing, try one of her best friends. I've helped 2 guys pick rings that weren't for me. Her friends will know what price range is normal for your circle, and also, her tastes.

THis. When DH wanted to propose, he went to my BFF and his sister. His sister is a pretentious little twit who always talked about she needed an engagement ring of at least x carats. I didn't want one at all. Sister said of course I do, I was just trying to be nice. BFF told him if he didn't know me well enough to know that I say what I mean, he should rethink proposing at all.

Go with the BFF, they'll know.

Man! Your future SIL was trying to do you a solid. Tough crowd.

OP I wanted an asscher cut also. Then I looked at them and was surprised at the fact that they weren't as brilliant (sparkly) as a brilliant cut stone.

I liked square but didn't want princess cut.

There are several lines of diamonds out there that have "fancy cut square" diamonds that are very brilliant - look at the "Hearts on Fire" line, or Galia by Derco - both offer more unique square cuts (and there are others).

I have a 1.5 carat center stone of very high quality/cut/color, fancy cut square, with another half carat of diamonds inset in the band of a platinum ring. It cost about 12k 7 years ago.

Shop around some, and given the money you're investing, I would talk this over with your girlfriend. Propose w/ a big fancy moissanite or something (always good to have as a dummy when you travel and don't want to have tens of thousands of dollars on your finger) and then let her look at some options you've chosen.

Anonymous wrote:You'd be a fool to spend a lot and not have her input. Why not get a simple gold band to do the proposing, and the two of you go ring shopping afterwards.

I totally agree with this.

Holy mother of ... 20 g's? You people are crazy. My engagement ring cost under $1000 and I LOVE it. In fact, I picked it out and get tons of compliments. I bang this thing on everything and it's been caught in baby blankets and puked and pooped on and dunked in lord-knows-what. I would keep a $20,000 ring in a safe, not on my finger.

OP, talk to your girlfriend. See what she wants. I don't believe in surprise proposals anyway, so she should be on board regardless.

To answer your question, just way too fucking much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the women that don't wear a ring at all, aren't you worried about being hit on? Most men look at the ring finger first. I get not wearing a diamond in some circumstances, but give the men an idea by looking if you are potentially available or not.

LOL. No. This is not even in my list of top 1000 concerns in life.

+1

I didn't know it was any person's duty (man or woman) to signify relationship status on a finger for the convenience of potential suitors lurking in airport bars.

You'd be a fool to spend a lot and not have her input. Why not get a simple gold band to do the proposing, and the two of you go ring shopping afterwards.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm about to propose to my girlfriend of two years. The general rule of thumb is 2-3 months salary but I've seen stories of men paying $ 75 - 100k for a ring. My girl deserves the best but has unique tastes. She prefers cushion or Asscher cut instead of princess or round. I can't afford to spend 75+ on a ring. I'm more in the $20 - 50k range.

OP, how much do you make per year?

In the low 700's. Why?

Anonymous wrote:I'm about to propose to my girlfriend of two years. The general rule of thumb is 2-3 months salary but I've seen stories of men paying $ 75 - 100k for a ring. My girl deserves the best but has unique tastes. She prefers cushion or Asscher cut instead of princess or round. I can't afford to spend 75+ on a ring. I'm more in the $20 - 50k range.

OP, how much do you make per year?

Anonymous wrote:OP - talk to her. Find out what she'd like. I'm in my mid 30s, dating a guy who is late 30s, and the conversation came up pretty quickly when some of our friends got engaged - it didn't make me scared thinking he was going to propose immediately, and it didn't make him scared thinking that's what I was gunning for.

If you don't know anyone getting engaged/married - make it up! Say someone at your office (who she doesn't know) just got engaged and women were talking about rings, and how someone said she wanted a Tiffany ring, or something specific, and see what she says. If you really don't want to talk to her, and you are absolutely set on proposing, try one of her best friends. I've helped 2 guys pick rings that weren't for me. Her friends will know what price range is normal for your circle, and also, her tastes.

THis. When DH wanted to propose, he went to my BFF and his sister. His sister is a pretentious little twit who always talked about she needed an engagement ring of at least x carats. I didn't want one at all. Sister said of course I do, I was just trying to be nice. BFF told him if he didn't know me well enough to know that I say what I mean, he should rethink proposing at all.

Go with the BFF, they'll know.

Anonymous wrote:Have you looked into vintage rings at Tiny Jewel Box? They tend to be more interesting, and you can get a very nice ring for less than $20K.

That's wear I got my ring. Far more interesting than the usual rings out there.

Anonymous wrote:Good grief, what a waste of money. My ring was like $3k twenty years ago. I haven't even bothered to wear it in years. Even that $3k seems foolish now.

Twenty years ago? My ring was 3k 5 years ago. Even then I thought it was too much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the women that don't wear a ring at all, aren't you worried about being hit on? Most men look at the ring finger first. I get not wearing a diamond in some circumstances, but give the men an idea by looking if you are potentially available or not.

LOL. No. This is not even in my list of top 1000 concerns in life.

Explain how that is a funny statement to make. Everyone has different tastes.

I don't pay much attention, but seems like I've seen more than a few wedding bands/engagement rings soldered together and worn jointly.