Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that the vast majority of affluent Caucasian couples in the DC area are not interested in having children. I don't buy this paradigm.

Maybe not the "vast majority" but certainly a larger percentage than ever before. And those who have kids have less than the replacement. Believe what you want but the numbers don't lie.

I am a white married couple who's relatively affluent. We aren't having kids now. We'd like them, but we worry too much that the costs will send us overboard.

I think a lot of people my age are also concerned that people expect children to be stuck to you for 26 years. Kids are more attached to their parents than any other generation ever. Less independence. I loved playing in the cul de sac or out with friends. But now people expect the parent to be supervising 24/7.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ill bite - I am 32 and my DH is 30. Our HHI is 175k and two big reasons we aren't having kids yet - in the immediate we can't afford it (day care is upwards of $1600-1800 a month in DC) and in the long term we can't afford it (our under grad institutions are pushing 60k+ per year NOW) and the other reason is most of our friends aren't even married at this point and the ones that are have not had kids. If we had a kid we would only be breaking even for the next few years and would be in debt if we had 2 and were paying for daycare. Husband is a JD working government and I work in the non profit world and have only a BA.

PP, basically, you and your husband don't want to children right now. And that is fine! If you never want children, that is fine too!

But to say that you can't afford to have a child because your household income is $175,000...

We make 200k a year and can't afford children. After saving for retirement and paying bills, there's hardly enough leftover for daycare plus all the other crap. Life here is expensive.

Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that the vast majority of affluent Caucasian couples in the DC area are not interested in having children. I don't buy this paradigm.

Maybe not the "vast majority" but certainly a larger percentage than ever before. And those who have kids have less than the replacement. Believe what you want but the numbers don't lie.

Stop explaining the 5 yo comment to that poster, they are stupid. It is obvious what that comment meant.

Elderly have 50 years to save for retirement, but most couples only have about 5 years to save for a child. Why does all of our tax dollars go to the elderly and not families starting out? My generation is already overwhelmed with student loans. Public preschool would be a boon. Or even maternity leave. I feel squeezed from every direction. If you took away the student loans, high housing costs and high daycare costs, I could see children as something we could do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll play. We both enjoy working, have no maternity leave, daycare is outrageous and we can't afford for one of us to stay home.

And multiply that scenario times every middle class family in America. If I could pop out a 5 year old I would happily do so.

Pop out a five year old? Huh?

Duh, she does stated the cost of daycare. 5 yr olds aren't in daycare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll play. We both enjoy working, have no maternity leave, daycare is outrageous and we can't afford for one of us to stay home.

And multiply that scenario times every middle class family in America. If I could pop out a 5 year old I would happily do so.

Pop out a five year old? Huh?

So I don't have to take maternity leave or string together daycare.

We all had a meeting and decided to give everyone else the chance to rule the world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll play. We both enjoy working, have no maternity leave, daycare is outrageous and we can't afford for one of us to stay home.

And multiply that scenario times every middle class family in America. If I could pop out a 5 year old I would happily do so.

Pop out a five year old? Huh?

I believe this poster is saying that they do not like the very early years in childhood. They would rather "give birth" to a 5 year old because at that point it's easier.

Or a 5-year old is easier because s/he can go to public school so no childcare costs (or lower childcare costs).

This is an interesting discussion. I don't know very many married white affluent women with no kids. And I knew a few white affluent never married women who decided to parent on their own. I know lots and lots and lots of black educated and professional women with no kids, mostly because they aren't partnered. I am black, educated and professional but divorced and when I was married we had to go the IVF/ICSI route for kids because of my husband's health issues. Didn't work. The idea that I might be stereotyped as the single black welfare mom has been hard for me to shake so I haven't opted to go it alone. Plus -- and more importantly -- my parents were married when they had me and my parents' parents were married when they had children and my great grandparents were married when they had children and I think children need two parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll play. We both enjoy working, have no maternity leave, daycare is outrageous and we can't afford for one of us to stay home.

And multiply that scenario times every middle class family in America. If I could pop out a 5 year old I would happily do so.

Pop out a five year old? Huh?

I believe this poster is saying that they do not like the very early years in childhood. They would rather "give birth" to a 5 year old because at that point it's easier.

Anonymous wrote:Ill bite - I am 32 and my DH is 30. Our HHI is 175k and two big reasons we aren't having kids yet - in the immediate we can't afford it (day care is upwards of $1600-1800 a month in DC) and in the long term we can't afford it (our under grad institutions are pushing 60k+ per year NOW) and the other reason is most of our friends aren't even married at this point and the ones that are have not had kids. If we had a kid we would only be breaking even for the next few years and would be in debt if we had 2 and were paying for daycare. Husband is a JD working government and I work in the non profit world and have only a BA.

PP, basically, you and your husband don't want to children right now. And that is fine! If you never want children, that is fine too!

But to say that you can't afford to have a child because your household income is $175,000...

Why are all of you putting so much pressure on yourselves re: college? I mean, yes it's expensive, yes I'd love to be able to pay my kid's tuition, but it's not the end of the world to me if I can't. I sure as hell wouldn't let future college tuition limit family size. That's just nuts.

Anonymous wrote:Ill bite - I am 32 and my DH is 30. Our HHI is 175k and two big reasons we aren't having kids yet - in the immediate we can't afford it (day care is upwards of $1600-1800 a month in DC) and in the long term we can't afford it (our under grad institutions are pushing 60k+ per year NOW) and the other reason is most of our friends aren't even married at this point and the ones that are have not had kids. If we had a kid we would only be breaking even for the next few years and would be in debt if we had 2 and were paying for daycare. Husband is a JD working government and I work in the non profit world and have only a BA.

Um, $175k and you think you can't afford that daycare payment? Just no.

Plus, while college costs are daunting to look at, there are plenty of ways to pay for it.

You really need to learn how to budget better.