Anonymous wrote:OP, this absolutely qualifies as abuse, especially with the pattern you describe.
I recommend reading "Why does he do that" which is incredibly helpful in understanding your situation.
I would also call the domestic violence hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) to get professional help in making a plan. The women's center in Virginia is another good resource.
Good luck, OP.
OP here. I am sitting in the library reading "Why does he do that" right now, and all I can say is, holy s**t. This book is describing my life. I can't thank you enough!