Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD and DS. The girl bears some responsibility here. Yes, she is only 14. But at that age she knows right from wrong. She's 14, not 7. She lied about her age, and went on an app that is not meant for underage kids. I think girls who do this type of thing should also be punished some how, like doing community service. Poor guy's life is now ruined.

The courts are not there to determine right from wrong. They are there to determine legal from illegal. It is not illegal for a 14-year-old to misrepresent her age on a dating app or (as far as I know) to use a dating app. It is illegal for a 19-year-old to have sexual contact with a 14-year-old.

Now, if you want to change the laws to make it illegal for a 14-year-old to misrepresent her age on a dating app...

Or at least some consequence for misrepresenting their age.

The point of statutory rape laws is that minors may lie about their age or seemingly give consent, but they cannot because they are not of legal age.

Why try to blame a minor child for the actions of an adult?

Anonymous wrote:

The punishment doesn't fit the crime here. 61 outrageous conditions for his parole. There's a huge backlash against the law and this judge. In fact, he may withdraw his guilty plea and the trial will start again because the prosecutor lied about the treatment the boy would get.

This kid got a living death penalty for consensual sex. It's totally over the top.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the 14 should be forbidden from all electronics until she is 18, and presumably able to use them responsibly. No computer access, no cell phone, etc.

Right now, she's proven that she is too immature and irresponsible to handle online access. It's too bad there's no court order to "keep her safe" from herself. One that puts it on HER, not someone else.

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get all the mental gymnastics trying to make this not the young man's fault. It is statutory rape. Trying to make it sound as though it is impossible to ever know how old someone is is just silly. Meeting up with someone you've exchanged messages with online, driving across state lines to meet her and then having sex with her is a bad idea all around. A 19 year old should know better. This situation turned out to not only be a bad idea, but also illegal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not an Indiana resident, but I think what I would like changed is the part where the law apparently requires people to refrain from doing things they not only didn't realize they were doing but thought they had taken steps to actively not be doing, and yet holds them responsible for someone else deceiving them into doing a thing without their knowledge.

Anyone who deliberately has sex with someone they know to be underage, or who should likely have suspected was underage, yeah, absolutely, that's morally and legally wrong and they should be held accountable. But if this girl was representing her age as above the legal age of consent on an app where the presumption is that those who are present are in fact of age, I'm not sure what else the boy was supposed to do here or how it's appropriate, logical, or reasonable for the law to have somehow expected him to know what this girl was lying about or not.

There is a very simple way to avoid having sex with people who are underage, namely: only have sex with people of whom you are absolutely, positively certain that they are of age.

Given previous discussion in this thread, my simple question to you is: how do you know?

Relying on whether someone looks old enough is obviously no help.

Looking for partners in supposed "adults only" venues isn't enough... see this situation and similar.

Checking ID isn't enough, apparently... if the person's ID is fake, you're still responsible.

How can you be "absolutely, positively" certain the person from class, the dating website, the bar, or really anywhere other than work is exactly who they and their ID say they are?

I'm lucky to have known my SO since high school, and since we were in the same grade I did not ever have this problem, but given this and similar incidents it certainly seems to me to be a potential problem. Our laws should have a bit of common sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The girl and her mother testified that he shouldn't be placed on a sex offender list.

Doesn't matter. Legally, a 14 year old is incapable of giving consent. A 14 year old is a child.

Legally, so is a 17 year old. He exorcised incredibly poor judgement, meeting a stranger online for sex? He's lucky she wasn't a 30 year old man who killed him

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD and DS. The girl bears some responsibility here. Yes, she is only 14. But at that age she knows right from wrong. She's 14, not 7. She lied about her age, and went on an app that is not meant for underage kids. I think girls who do this type of thing should also be punished some how, like doing community service. Poor guy's life is now ruined.

The courts are not there to determine right from wrong. They are there to determine legal from illegal. It is not illegal for a 14-year-old to misrepresent her age on a dating app or (as far as I know) to use a dating app. It is illegal for a 19-year-old to have sexual contact with a 14-year-old.

Now, if you want to change the laws to make it illegal for a 14-year-old to misrepresent her age on a dating app...

Or at least some consequence for misrepresenting their age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The girl and her mother testified that he shouldn't be placed on a sex offender list.

Doesn't matter. Legally, a 14 year old is incapable of giving consent. A 14 year old is a child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD and DS. The girl bears some responsibility here. Yes, she is only 14. But at that age she knows right from wrong. She's 14, not 7. She lied about her age, and went on an app that is not meant for underage kids. I think girls who do this type of thing should also be punished some how, like doing community service. Poor guy's life is now ruined.

The courts are not there to determine right from wrong. They are there to determine legal from illegal. It is not illegal for a 14-year-old to misrepresent her age on a dating app or (as far as I know) to use a dating app. It is illegal for a 19-year-old to have sexual contact with a 14-year-old.

Now, if you want to change the laws to make it illegal for a 14-year-old to misrepresent her age on a dating app...

Anonymous wrote:He didn't just think she was of age - she openly, in writing, misrepresented her age on purpose. Even if we now make all people carry copies of birth certificates to double check age, it wouldn't work with girls like this who deliberately lie.

I guess all people now need to be tattooed at birth to avoid this.

Or preach celibacy. No need to worry if you just keep your pants on!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Laws should have some common sense, too.

Let's make the parents of the 14 yr old responsible for the 14 yr old's actions. They should be held accountable for not supervising her enough. Some states hold parents accountable for kids skipping school. I say we should do the same since 14 yr olds are not capable of knowing right from wrong, apparently, or being held accountable for their actions, which caused a man's life to be ruined.

I'm a woman btw.

That's just not the way this type of law works. It is a "statutory offense," which means that the very fact of having sex with a minor makes it rape.

It is not the 14 year old child that ruined this man's life. No one forced him to drive across state lines and meet this child and have sex with her. Those were all voluntary actions on his part and it appears he is being held accountable under the law as it stands.

FFS he thought she was older. I'm not saying he should go scott free, but in these cases, some common sense should apply.

I have a DS and DD. If this situation happened to either of them, I'd be pissed at both of them. If I knew that my dd lied about her age and went on a dating app for adults, I'd hold her responsible for her role, too, and that man for his (or my DS).

I have a son and a daughter, too, but this has nothing to do with how I would feel about either of their actions in a situation like this. The law is not about feelings or how we think things should be. The facts of this case are that this young man broke the law of the state in which he had sex with an underage minor and was found guilty of statutory rape. It doesn't matter what he thought or what she said.

If you don't like Indiana's laws and you are a resident of Indiana, write to your legislators and let them know what you would like changed.

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get all the mental gymnastics trying to make this not the young man's fault. It is statutory rape. Trying to make it sound as though it is impossible to ever know how old someone is is just silly. Meeting up with someone you've exchanged messages with online, driving across state lines to meet her and then having sex with her is a bad idea all around. A 19 year old should know better. This situation turned out to not only be a bad idea, but also illegal.