Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 16:20     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have heard from everyone that I am being a bad mother by letting my kids go "hungry".
It is really just one child who always complains about being hungry. I told him that there is a difference between being hungry and "I could eat some more". We go out and he wants me to order two meals for him. He is always interested in events that have a lot of food. I give him fair portions at dinner, then cut him off. I don't even offer a "healthy snack" I just want him to be able to function without being stuffed.
He is in the 95th%ile for height and the 70th%ile for weight. His pediatrician is happy and says that it is not unreasonable for them to be lanky in the tween years.
I grew up in another country and no one ate the way my kids do. I remember real hunger, not because of poverty, but because of logistics. Food was not everywhere, so if we were at a place with no food, you went hungry until we got home. I remember gnawing hunger at times, where we eat anything. That was just the way it was.
My kids have never skipped a meal. At times when they say they are hungry, they get picky! No, they don't want cookies with chocolate chips, or a peach, or chicken. That is a funny kind of hungry.
Maybe we define that term differently, but for now, I am pleased that they are a little thin.


You have serious food issues, OP, and a possible eating disorder. Offer healthy foods as snacks and let it go. No child should ever go hungry - they are too young and go through very different growth cycles where their caloric needs are ever changing.


Not true. As someone who has battled food addiction my entire life (I remember this sense of urgency and shame around food as young 3 or 4), It is actually good for kids to experience hunger. The problem with american kids is the constant snacking, followed by large portions etc. So even if you only provide "healthy meals" at some point they will be out at a friends house, on their own, and they will not understand their own body signals. Most kids are overweight because they eat for dopamine like effect, boredom and honestly have no idea how to read/listen to their own body signals. OP does not have an eating disorder, kids are not gonna starve if they don't get three snacks at a 1 hour soccer game.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 15:00     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Also, an alternative to rationing food for your teenagers would be to say that there needs to be 20 minute break between courses, to give themselves time to figure out if they really are actually hungry. Have them dismissed from the table and move on to another activity. If half and hour later, they're still hungry, then they can have seconds, or make themselves a salad.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 14:58     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
It's okay to feel hungry and to be ready for the meal, rather than eat just because food's in front of you, but if your kids are still hungry after eating dinner, then I think you need to adjust your sense of what's normal and healthy for growing teenage boys.

Also, just a note for the posters above, which your ped can confirm for your OP - being 95th for weight would not be overweight if paired with 95th (or something in that ballpark) for height. Your son may indeed be healthy, but being 70th for for weight doesn't mean he's heavy - you have a tall kid, OP. He's also growing. Now is not the time to restrict healthy foods.

Please speak to a medical professional and get some well-informed advice, so that your family's food policy can be well informed and not a misfired backlash against lax parenting trends.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 14:48     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This obsession of always having a snack ready, packing snacks wherever you go, or making a special stop for a snack, is way out of control.



+1


+ ten bazillion. I think part of this trend is parents have no idea how to parent or discipline so when the kids misbehave in public they throw food at them under the guise of, "oh s/he acts up when hungry."
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 12:59     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:Ordering two meals for a kid at dinner is ridiculous. Plus if a kid is in the 95th percentile for height and the 70th for weight, that child is not being underfed.


+1
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 12:23     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:I have heard from everyone that I am being a bad mother by letting my kids go "hungry".
It is really just one child who always complains about being hungry. I told him that there is a difference between being hungry and "I could eat some more". We go out and he wants me to order two meals for him. He is always interested in events that have a lot of food. I give him fair portions at dinner, then cut him off. I don't even offer a "healthy snack" I just want him to be able to function without being stuffed.
He is in the 95th%ile for height and the 70th%ile for weight. His pediatrician is happy and says that it is not unreasonable for them to be lanky in the tween years.
I grew up in another country and no one ate the way my kids do. I remember real hunger, not because of poverty, but because of logistics. Food was not everywhere, so if we were at a place with no food, you went hungry until we got home. I remember gnawing hunger at times, where we eat anything. That was just the way it was.
My kids have never skipped a meal. At times when they say they are hungry, they get picky! No, they don't want cookies with chocolate chips, or a peach, or chicken. That is a funny kind of hungry.
Maybe we define that term differently, but for now, I am pleased that they are a little thin.


Love this book: http://www.amazon.com/French-Children-Dont-Throw-Food/dp/0385617615
Yes, it is an American thing to snack all the times.
I try to control my kids too.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 12:15     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This obsession of always having a snack ready, packing snacks wherever you go, or making a special stop for a snack, is way out of control.



+1. And meetings, practices or activities must have snacks. After 45 minutes everyone needs to eat??


I agree with all this, especially for little kids. But OP said her kid is a lanky tween boy. I think all bets are off. I haven't experienced a growing to teen boy in my house yet, but I remember my brothers eating. Maybe some moms who have been through teen boys can chime in. I think it's good for him to figure out when he is full, and not impose our "over 40 dieting mom appetites and portions" on a growing teen. Does everyone remember the thread about the mom of teens who never had leftovers?


The advice given to her was to feed them more. So why is it okay for this mom to leave her kid hungry?

OP, it's fine to have him wait about ten minutes before taking more food. But you dishing out what you think is a fair portion for a growing teen? No.. he's learning nothing. Being a little hungry between meals is okay. However, you shouldn't still be hungry when the meal is finished. More like comfortably full. Gnawing hunger? That isn't usually considered an okay thing.

He may end up overeating as an adult because you've controlled so much now.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 12:13     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Ordering two meals for a kid at dinner is ridiculous. Plus if a kid is in the 95th percentile for height and the 70th for weight, that child is not being underfed.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 12:10     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids eat when they want. I bring snacks everywhere. Some days my 6 yo dd will out eat me. She is tall and thin.

If your kid isn't overweight op, please please do not with hold food. Especially from a growing boy teenager. Seriously, wth is wrong with you?

Op, what is your height and weight and measurements?


They don't always stay tall and thin.


They shrink?


Try to be witty if you disagree.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 12:08     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:This obsession of always having a snack ready, packing snacks wherever you go, or making a special stop for a snack, is way out of control.



Agreed. Also, what exactly are you feeding him?

If he's complaining about being hungry, then maybe put more fat in his diet (the good kind - like avocado, nuts, olive oil, egg yolks). Fat makes people feel satisfied. Carbs make people hungry.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 12:03     Subject: Re:Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
The OP is either a weird troll or just significantly deranged. Starving a child is abuse. Kids generally don't eat unless they are hungry...and they are hungry for a reason...their bodies are going through periodic growth spurts. OP, did you withhold breast milk (or formula) when they were infants?
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 12:00     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Um, the only way to be thin is to eat small quantities of food. Also, folks have to learn to ignore the "hunger", which is all relative. Your definition of hunger is different than mine.


One way to be thin is to eat small quantities of food. Certainly it is not the only way, though. Some people eat regular amounts of food and exercise. Others limit what kinds of foods they eat, but not the overall quantity. Still others do not need to worry about any of this, being that their body type and genetics result in them being thin even if they eat tons of total crap.

I quit snacking all together, because I wanted to lose weight by reducing the amount of food I ate overall. The OP is banning snacking and restricting portions on a child who does not need to lose weight because she wants to prevent him from being fat.


Yup, this is my husband.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 11:52     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
The only way to be thin is to consume few calories relative to your exercise. If you don't exercise and want to be thin, you can, just eat smaller amounts of food.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 11:47     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids eat when they want. I bring snacks everywhere. Some days my 6 yo dd will out eat me. She is tall and thin.

If your kid isn't overweight op, please please do not with hold food. Especially from a growing boy teenager. Seriously, wth is wrong with you?

Op, what is your height and weight and measurements?


They don't always stay tall and thin.


They shrink?


They expand.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2015 11:44     Subject: Why is it not OK to feel hunger?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids eat when they want. I bring snacks everywhere. Some days my 6 yo dd will out eat me. She is tall and thin.

If your kid isn't overweight op, please please do not with hold food. Especially from a growing boy teenager. Seriously, wth is wrong with you?

Op, what is your height and weight and measurements?


They don't always stay tall and thin.


They shrink?