My 10 year old was certainly happy that a bra was waiting for her in her drawer when she needed it.

DD, 11, is completely flat and shows no signs of puberty. She came to me recently and said her nipples were tender and asked if she could wear a bra. I very seriously doubt she needs one, but all of her friends are developing breasts and wearing bras, and she feels awkward about being small and underdeveloped for her age. So, I took her question seriously, talked to her about options, "until you develop a little more fully" (tank top, camisole, bra let, jog bra) and spent an afternoon shopping with her to find a couple different styles of bralets. Maybe she doesn't "need" one, but wearing a little sports bra/camisole makes her feel better about her body. More importantly, she came to me with her concerns, and I don't want to do anything to discourage that. As she goes through puberty, I want her to feel like she can come to me with questions and concerns, and that I will listen and take her seriously, rather than being dismissive or embarrassing her.

I always hated and still hate bras. I didn't wear one until I gained weight a few years back and actually needed one. Before I always just skipped the bra. Now your daughter WANTS to wear a bra and there is no reason to not let her. She's twelve not nine. That's a perfectly fine age to start wanting to be a woman.

Developing late is not embarrassing though. Not having breasts at twelve is not late development by the way. Either way the most important thing is for your daughter to do what she wants...not what others make her feel like she has to do. That's what I would talk to her about. Not the question whether or whether not a bra will be bought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will buy sports bras for use during sports, running/horsing around after school and gym class. Normal bras are for all other times.

However, bras are for girls who are developing, they are not a requirement for a girl who isn't developing yet, and I refuse to allow any child of mine to buy into society's dictates for clothing.

You are completely contradicting yourself. What if your daughter wants to wear her sports bras all day? You are the one buying into "dictates for clothing".

No, I buy bras based on the support, construction and the way the clothes feel over the bra, and that is exactly the way the girls have been taught. One is only a B, she chooses to not wear a bra unless she's running around in gym class (sports bra), and that's fine with me. The other chooses solid colors (normal bras) so that they won't be seen through her clothes, and has fun patterned sports bras for wearing by themselves when running, but again, she chooses to wear them, although she doesn't technically need the support when she's not running. Personally, I didn't wear a bra until I was a C, it wasn't necessary for support. That's my point. I don't see a reason for a girl who isn't developing yet to need a bra.

The point is you are awfully rigid about who chooses to wear a bra, and what kind of bra, for what kind of activity, over what size boobage. For someone who claims not to be interested into "society's dictates".

Oh God, this thread just triggered a flashback of me in 7th grade in the cafeteria while the boys went around to every girl and flicked their bra straps to see who was wearing a bra and who wasn't. I wasn't (still don't really need one) and was DREADING them doing this to me. I went home that afternoon and asked my mom to buy me one.

According to this thread I am a 37 year old woman who shouldn't wear a bra (AAA)
I don't think so
No one wants to see my nipples under a silk top at work or thin sweater (well maybe someone does but that's another topic)
And no, camisoles don't work when it's cold enough for nipple popping.