Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

So how much of this have you discussed with your DH and how does he feel about it? It sounds like you haven't actually acts on your feelings yet. How do you both plan to go forward?

We've discussed it generally. He knows I'm attracted to women and (in the abstract) would like to act on that. In theory, he is not necessarily opposed to the idea of exploring physical relationships with others, for me or for himself.

No specific plans to go forward. Frankly, with a small kid, the logistics seem daunting - there are only so many hours in the day. And I think even if we are both comfortable with it in theory, it's still a big leap of faith to make the theoretical real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

So how much of this have you discussed with your DH and how does he feel about it? It sounds like you haven't actually acts on your feelings yet. How do you both plan to go forward?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I equate polyamory with silly twenty somethings who think they are too cool for school. these are the same types who gets tattoos and smoke lots of weed and don't have college degrees.

Grow up! Polyamory is a disgusting way to live. It is skeezy. It is gross. It is not natural.

Deep down, you know it is strange and wrong.

Just get a divorce already. Your poor kids.

I guarantee you that there are lots of polyamorous folks who do not satisfy this description. With advanced degrees, good jobs, and nice houses in the suburbs. They just don't talk about it because of people like you.

At least I know my DH and I can have an open and honest conversation about these things and that we never have to worry about cheating.

She lives in a bubble of ignorance.

late 30s
no drugs/tattoos, but we do have security clearances
two advanced degrees
Minivan driver
Happily married and have sex much more than the average couple at our stage in life
Everyone who does not know would be floored if they knew what goes on behind closed doors. Sometimes I wish I could just tell people in order to watch their reactions. However we have kids and people are awful, so we keep it under tight wraps. But what we have discovered is that they are A LOT of people like us.

I will agree that MANY younger people embrace this lifestyle than our age and older. There are many groups popping up catering to an under 35 set. I wish we were born 15 years later, I think the future is a better one. It is unfortunate to be on the tail end of a society that watched way too many Disney movies. Monogamy most often leads to sexless marriages and to me THAT is what is strange and wrong and unnatural. Who the hell thinks monogamy is natural? What a joke! Get real. We are not bird brained penguins.

I think this is sort of how I feel. I love DH. I know I will always want to be with him, share my home with him, have a physical relationship with him, have him as my best and most trusted friend.

I just also have a hard time thinking about him being the only person I ever have a physical relationship with for the rest of my life. And, to me, the desire to be with someone else does not diminish my desire to be with DH.

Still, I am nervous about potentially screwing up a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:How hard is it usually to find a partner?

Anonymous wrote:How hard is it usually to find a partner?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you marrieds "out" as poly? Do your kids know? Or do people think your BF/GF is just a friend?

We are out-ish. We are completely out in our circle of friends, and to 2 sets of parents (Husband's and Boyfriend's). Telling my parents will likely mean the end of our relationship, and I haven't been able to pull the trigger just yet. Our one child is still a baby, but we don't want her to have to keep our "secret". I will probably come out to my parents in the next year or two. I have never been comfortable with the idea of pretending my boyfriend is just a friend. I feel like it'd be completely disrespectful to our relationship, and his status as a member of our family.

So who's the baby daddy?

I'm going to assume your question is well intentioned. They are both her father. They were both with me through the pregnancy, they were both present at her birth, they have been there during the sleepless nights, and so on. We all know who contributed their genes, but it really doesn't matter. She has three parents and she is loved enormously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are any of you marrieds "out" as poly? Do your kids know? Or do people think your BF/GF is just a friend?

We are out-ish. We are completely out in our circle of friends, and to 2 sets of parents (Husband's and Boyfriend's). Telling my parents will likely mean the end of our relationship, and I haven't been able to pull the trigger just yet. Our one child is still a baby, but we don't want her to have to keep our "secret". I will probably come out to my parents in the next year or two. I have never been comfortable with the idea of pretending my boyfriend is just a friend. I feel like it'd be completely disrespectful to our relationship, and his status as a member of our family.

So who's the baby daddy?

I'm going to assume your question is well intentioned. They are both her father. They were both with me through the pregnancy, they were both present at her birth, they have been there during the sleepless nights, and so on. We all know who contributed their genes, but it really doesn't matter. She has three parents and she is loved enormously.

No, she doesn't. No matter what you say. She has biological parents who have a screw loose, and a boarder who is along for the ride.[/quote]


This pp is green with envy as am I. I am poly and I do have a lover but my husband would not go for a live in. Sigh.