Anonymous wrote:OP, wow. I am really sorry. Halfway through your story, I thought it sounded like he was baiting you into an argument, and by the end of your story it sounded even more like that. Sometimes people need to pick fights in order to get amped enough to deliver the REALLY bad news. I hate to say, it but that is what this sounds like to me. So he wants to separate? Maybe he needed the self-fulfilling prophecy of an argument between you, so he provoked a fight.

I guess all you can do right now is wait until he's calm, ask him again what his intentions are, and request counseling to talk through the issues. I wish you the best. That must have been a hell of a blindsiding.

And no, there is no conceivable good reason for flirting with the smoothie clerk and then telling you about it. WTF.

Exactly this.

I'll take reality and dysfunction any day than trade places with any of the judgmental, miserable posters on here.

You both sound highly dysfunctional. Please, please end it before you guys have kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are both big fat drama queens. Your husband mentions that some other lady he'll never see again in his life is beautiful, and you go on a bender on how uncomfortable it makes you, and how he must have had a diabolical plan to make you feel awful by bringing this up...dear, most men can't think that far ahead, most likely he has no filter in his head so he just said it to make conversation. Unclench a bit. There are other beautiful women in the world (assuming you are beautiful), your husband will notice them, you can't make him live his life fearing for every word he says to his wife. I wouldn't bat an eye if my husband told me someone has nice jugs. It's just talk.

Your husband is a drama queen for storming out of the car with the engine running during a storm.

PP, your post above has so much inflammatory, insulting language in it that I think YOU'RE the big fat drama queen. Also, read more carefully - this isn't some barista "he'll never see again in his life" - OP specifically mentioned that this is their "go-to place" for smoothies. Stop being such a rude little bully.

This person was left by her husband for a younger, prettier woman. She's a notorious troll and woman hater. Ignore her.

Anonymous wrote:My assumption is that you have crushed your DHs soul. Most DW are soul crushers. He saw a smiling,happy, attractive juice barista that was nice to him (her job, yes) and he felt alive for a fleeting moment. When he got back in the car, he was back in your soul crushing vise grip, his polarizing emotions caused a flight response for a different life.

+1

You are both big immature brats.

Please don't breed.

He left you in the middle of the road, not like in a parking spot? People say crazy things and don't really mean it. Get counseling first individually and then together. That's like obvious to women that you don't tell your wife you told someone else she was beautiful even if she wasn't. Maybe she was and he was backtracking, or else he tells people lies. Apparently he felt more threatened being in the car with you than being out in the storm.

OP, my DH and I have been married 16 years, but the first 6 months we were married were awful. I had never lived with a man, we both worked long hours at high stress jobs, moving into someone else's home was harder than I expected and, yikes, I was now a Wife. We had one fight (and I can't remember what stupid thing it was about) where my DH left the house in a snow storm and walked to a bar. That was the wake up call that we needed to figure out how to argue.

Don't miss the point here -- the point is not that he flirted with this girl and told you (that is just the spark that caused this fight), the point is that you two are somehow not communicating well and he has resorted to making unproductive comments like ..things have not been going well in a while.. in order to get some discussion. Figure out a way to fight fairly, know when to back off, deal with the long hours and the stress of being married by focusing on the good things. I found that reminding myself that we were married and therefore had made the commitment to work things out, made it easier to address and find a way to disagree.

I just wanted to share so that you would understand that sometimes the newlywed stage is not all that great. We had a lot of great make up sex and finally, figured out how to live together.

I think he went back to get the smoothie girls number.

Anonymous wrote:You have been only married a month and are fighting when you should still be looking goo goo eyed and having awesome sex. Does not look good for the future of your marriage.

Maybe, maybe not. People who communicate badly/are new at communicating with each other don't do well under stress. Doesn't matter if they've been married a month or a decade.

You have been only married a month and are fighting when you should still be looking goo goo eyed and having awesome sex. Does not look good for the future of your marriage.

Annulment!

I would've wanted to see the beauty with my own eyes.
Wouldn't have picked a fight over what he said. Not a big deal.
I think your DH is tired of drama. Does every small thing make you say: "why would you say/do that"?.

Your husband was disrespectful to you when he spoke out of lusting for another woman. And that's what he did. I can't give you any advice on that because it's personal between you and your husband but I will say it would hurt me deeply if my husband said anything like that. Yours could have kept it to himself yet he felt the need to stick that blade in you. It was mean.

As for leaving you in the car ? He will do it again. And again. And again. Men, once they pitch a fit and do something so childish, usually repeat the behavior until there are consequences to that action.

You should have driven home without him. Next time, and there will be a next time, leave his ass where he requests space. Maybe you two need some time apart. You should still be honeymooning not fighting. Red Flag already.

Sounds like the two of you have been overwhelmed by life circumstances so early in your new life together. Sorry to hear about your MVA leaving you injured & out of work. Also tough on newlyweds when a husband has to work such long hours. I'm glad to hear the two of you are talking & neither of you are calling it quits. Marriage takes work but when you love each other it's worth it. The two of you are still learning about each other & are experiencing so many situations for the first time as husband & wife. Give yourselves time & keep talking to each other. In 30 years, you will see how much you have each grown; how much more you know each other; and how much deeper you care for each other. Don't quit before you even had a chance to get started. Praying for you both. The best is yet to come...
memom421