Well, I'm not sure what the right thing is to do. My oldest is 8. But I remember well my older cousins getting into pot and basically becoming major losers through college, and I also remember some kids in my (competetive, fancy shmancy) college who were potheads (meaning every day) and by the end of 4 years they seemed... slow.

Then again, there's also the local mom I know and love who uses pot regularly to manage her chronic pain.

At any rate, for a kid who seems to be using pot a helluva lot, I might put it like I would an adult:

I don't like it. I don't like you when you're on it, and I can tell. It strains our relationship, because even though I love you as my kid, I'm don't really LIKE THE POT YOU.

So, let's break up. I'll be your mom. I'll help you go to school. But if you drop out, that's your problem. If you want to go to rehab or counseling, I'll pay for that, too. Definitely consider whether you're using drugs to get rid of bad feelings because fad feelings--unless they're depression or debilitating anxiety or chronic pain--are GOOD FOR YOU. I'll also cover you on my health insurance until you're 25. But I won't pay for a drop out, drugged out kid's apartment, clothes, food, or travel. That's on you.

I think that's what I'd say.

I agree on launching off to college. But I wouldn't wait on providing the preamble above, so he knows what's what come late August.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use to know a pot head named Steve Jobs who did quite well for himself.

He's died at age 56 from pancreatic cancer. Smoking cigarettes doubles your risk for pancreatic cancer. As more people smoke pot, there is more research being done on whether smoking pot, which has many of the same carcinogens in it, may have a causal effect on cancer as well.

Please, provide the correlation between pancreatic cancer and marijuana smoking. We're all ears.

Read what I wrote again. I said it's possible and people are doing research. We freak the hell out about chemical sunscreens, but pot is OK to smoke.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You can refuse to pay for any drug-related products/consequences/etc. (Don't pay legal citations, bail, lawyers, car damages, etc.)
You can insist on no illegal stuff or actions going on in your house.

If you don't push him out into the street, you won't have to worry about paying for lawyers and bail. Plus you'll be doing the rest of society a favor so he's not driving around and consuming since you're hysterical about him doing it at home.

Maybe the REAL smart thing would be to talk to him and her about SAFE, SMART and RESPONSIBLE consumption instead of prohibitional hysterics? I.E. don't carry it on you, be super responsible with it while driving (i.e. only keep it in the trunk).

Not true. The 17 year old on my street just had a drug bust in the house. Was arrested. His parents didn't put him out on the street.

Anonymous wrote:
You can refuse to pay for any drug-related products/consequences/etc. (Don't pay legal citations, bail, lawyers, car damages, etc.)
You can insist on no illegal stuff or actions going on in your house.

If you don't push him out into the street, you won't have to worry about paying for lawyers and bail. Plus you'll be doing the rest of society a favor so he's not driving around and consuming since you're hysterical about him doing it at home.

Maybe the REAL smart thing would be to talk to him and her about SAFE, SMART and RESPONSIBLE consumption instead of prohibitional hysterics? I.E. don't carry it on you, be super responsible with it while driving (i.e. only keep it in the trunk).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use to know a pot head named Steve Jobs who did quite well for himself.

He's died at age 56 from pancreatic cancer. Smoking cigarettes doubles your risk for pancreatic cancer. As more people smoke pot, there is more research being done on whether smoking pot, which has many of the same carcinogens in it, may have a causal effect on cancer as well.

Please, provide the correlation between pancreatic cancer and marijuana smoking. We're all ears.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:there isn't as big a difference between pot and heroin as the potivists want you to believe.

I'm simply stunned you actually believe this. But then again, this is DCUM, hope of the pearl-clutching harpies.

And ignorant simpletons.

Anonymous wrote:I use to know a pot head named Steve Jobs who did quite well for himself.

He's died at age 56 from pancreatic cancer. Smoking cigarettes doubles your risk for pancreatic cancer. As more people smoke pot, there is more research being done on whether smoking pot, which has many of the same carcinogens in it, may have a causal effect on cancer as well.

Pot is bad news for teens. But you can't really control what he does at this point.

You can insist on his being courteous to family members.
You can refuse to pay for any drug-related products/consequences/etc. (Don't pay legal citations, bail, lawyers, car damages, etc.)
You can insist on no illegal stuff or actions going on in your house.
You can refuse to let him have access to a car or any other activity that may be dangerous while high/intoxicated.

Same here, I am just tired of the fight

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid smokes pot all the time. She's a college senior and has been smoking since she was a high school sophomore. I hate it, but ignore it. It's just a plant, and she's a responsible kid. In the big scheme of things, marijuana is not the hill I'm going to die on.

Wow. Frankly, mom, I would consider myself a major failure as a parent if this turns out to be my kids' story.

Too bad you can't control your children like slaves, right?

Anonymous wrote:there isn't as big a difference between pot and heroin as the potivists want you to believe.

I'm simply stunned you actually believe this. But then again, this is DCUM, hope of the pearl-clutching harpies.

Anonymous wrote:I've never met a pothead who was not severely depressed.

The two are not mutually inclusive, idiot.

Anonymous wrote:Yup. I'd tell him to smoke all the pot he wants, but he won't be living with us or getting any money for college.

Why the attitude?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would try to maintain some level of respect and open communication with your son this summer. I've launched two sons and both went off the rails a bit the spring and summer before college.

Try finding a time to talk calmly and nonjudgmentally with your son about his MJ use. I'd come at it from a wellness perspective -- too much smoking, drinking or other drugging just isn't good for a person's physical or emotional health, and you want him to be successful as he starts this new chapter in his life. Also, there can be legal implications and it doesn't hurt to remind him that getting a criminal record, even a misdemeanor, will complicate his life no end. Maybe talk to his therapist and see if she has any suggestions about how you should approach this with him? If she doesn't have any helpful advice then I'd think about whether she is helping.

Thanks PP. Nice to know you've been there and survived it.

You're welcome. Still surviving, my friend, still surviving. But we are seeeing improvements as they both mature.

I was going to say, he'll probably grow out if it, op.

I was a lot like your son. I got into a good school early decision, and was very lazy and stoned senior spring. It got boring. I was not a frequent user forever.

+1 very common

Me too. My grades went back up in college

Me three. I got it together by sophomore year.

He sounds like every 18 year old I know. Stop the therapy and get him off to school. This is not a big deal.

Also, I wouldn't encourage your daughter to narc on him. This is not her problem, and it sends the wrong signal to her.