Anonymous
Post 06/15/2015 12:37     Subject: Re:Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:Sorry.. I meant to say that about 12:14's comment!


Do you think OP should lie to her daughter -- not tell her that she doesn't believe the "fairy tale" herself, but supports DD's belief?
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2015 12:37     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, while I don't align with a formal faith, I don't mind if my children find peace in one. If my little girl needs the "fairy tale", so be it. Whatever tools she needs, I'm up for it.
If she asks me what *I* believe about any formal religion, my answer would be a non-hypocritical, "I don't know". Which is the essence of agnosticism, yes?




If she goes that route, I hope you let her know that you think it's a fairy tale -- all the while being supportive of her choice.


This is the route of adult kids spending hours on the couch in a professional's office, trying to understand their weird mother...


And the route of adult kids trying to figure out why adults told them things as children that they must believe in order to be moral that simply are not true.


But they are true. DD may discover that long before her mother does.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2015 12:34     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, while I don't align with a formal faith, I don't mind if my children find peace in one. If my little girl needs the "fairy tale", so be it. Whatever tools she needs, I'm up for it.
If she asks me what *I* believe about any formal religion, my answer would be a non-hypocritical, "I don't know". Which is the essence of agnosticism, yes?




If she goes that route, I hope you let her know that you think it's a fairy tale -- all the while being supportive of her choice.


This is the route of adult kids spending hours on the couch in a professional's office, trying to understand their weird mother...


And the route of adult kids trying to figure out why adults told them things as children that they must believe in order to be moral that simply are not true.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2015 12:24     Subject: Re:Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Sorry.. I meant to say that about 12:14's comment!
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2015 12:23     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, while I don't align with a formal faith, I don't mind if my children find peace in one. If my little girl needs the "fairy tale", so be it. Whatever tools she needs, I'm up for it.
If she asks me what *I* believe about any formal religion, my answer would be a non-hypocritical, "I don't know". Which is the essence of agnosticism, yes?




If she goes that route, I hope you let her know that you think it's a fairy tale -- all the while being supportive of her choice.


This is the route of adult kids spending hours on the couch in a professional's office, trying to understand their weird mother...
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2015 12:14     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:OP here, while I don't align with a formal faith, I don't mind if my children find peace in one. If my little girl needs the "fairy tale", so be it. Whatever tools she needs, I'm up for it.
If she asks me what *I* believe about any formal religion, my answer would be a non-hypocritical, "I don't know". Which is the essence of agnosticism, yes?




If she goes that route, I hope you let her know that you think it's a fairy tale -- all the while being supportive of her choice.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2015 11:43     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
OP here, while I don't align with a formal faith, I don't mind if my children find peace in one. If my little girl needs the "fairy tale", so be it. Whatever tools she needs, I'm up for it.
If she asks me what *I* believe about any formal religion, my answer would be a non-hypocritical, "I don't know". Which is the essence of agnosticism, yes?

Anonymous wrote:1. You are an ex-Catholic, mostly agnostic.
2. Your daughter is having an identity crisis.

Therapy is your route and not religion. Why would you confuse her with religious beliefs if you can't anchor yourself to a belief system?

Steer her toward the sciences. Teach her what we DO know. Throwing her into a man[u]-made belief system - where there's the possibility of a hell for people who are "bad" or a stereotypical roles for women or rules that teach you to live your life in fear - won't end her crisis.

You'd simply be modeling hypocrisy for her.



Anonymous wrote:So I know that title is absurd. What little girl (age 7) has an existential crisis? But, mine is asking questions about not understanding why she was born, why she is who she is, what is a soul, how the universe was made, where the first beings came from, etc. etc. She's sad and cries about it. Sometimes she tells me she can't explain, can't find the words to express what's bothering her. (Yes we are looking at therapy as well).

I'm an ex Catholic, now mostly agnostic. But when she was feeling lost, I told her about God, ("Some people believe..." God having a plan for her, God sending Jesus... and it seemed to give her some peace.

If religion is what she needs, that's fine with me. I always have felt I'd let my kids find their own way to religion if they want it. But if this child needs it sooner than later.... what church/faith do you think is best for little girls? Not to offend Catholics who share the religion of my birth; the messages I personally internalized, esp. about women, from 13 years in Catholic school were mostly negative. I would not want Hell, the Devil, damnation to be important, but a message of love and that she has a purpose here/reason for having been born.

Any ideas? Thank you.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2015 11:40     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you guys - are we talking about the same Catholic church here? THE Catholic Church - the one with the Vatican and the Pope and all that jazz? The one that ONLY YESTERDAY agreed to a tribunal to to judge bishops of covering up DECADES of Pedophile actions. Wow, he said "let's go ahead an look at it"!

The same church that would tell OP's DD she shouldn't use birth control - even if she were married and already had 6 kids? I mean, I'm happy they've toned down the "sin" component as far as you're all concerned, and the new Pope they've got seems like a real nice guy and all -- but I haven't heard him say, go ahead and take a pill Latin America!

THIS is how you all recommend her dealing with her 7 year olds existential crisis?

Those faithful reading this are thinking what? "oh, but that's just a small part of it - This shrew doesn't get what is so great about the love of Jesus." You'll probably have some back-pocket quote about how men are fallible but God teaches through them blah blah blah. It's bullshit.

OP - don't do this to your daughter. Teach her she can love herself and love her fellow man, and live each day in service to others because that will make her feel purpose and see the best in humanity and existence. That's all she needs.


OP here, don't worry, I think I already indicated in my early posts that as a former Catholic, we won't be going that route.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 23:53     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:I like you PP. you seem like an incredibly fair person. On one hand I want to ask what you, yourself, believe but on the other i don't want to know because I hope you agree with me.


Well, it's complicated - my mother was raised Catholic, my father is Bouddhist, they are from different non-English-speaking countries, I lived in Anglo-Saxon countries and went to private Protestant schools. At 7, I decided to hold Bible classes during playdates and used to believe very fervently that Jesus came to my room at night to listen to me.

I would love to believe in a higher power. I hope there is one. My favorite short story is one by Isaac Asimov called The Last Question - it blends Christian influences with sci fi.
Now my scientific training does not allow me to follow a specific religion, since I see that religions are man-made and based on rituals and storytelling - very psychologically effective ones, created at a time when illiterate peoples sought political leadership and unity, not just the meaning of life. My husband is atheist but what he really believes in is Science (he's a scientist too). To him, it is a religion - but of course he denies it when I point it out to him!

This is why I want my kids to know as much as possible - to form their own opinions.


Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 23:28     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
I like you PP. you seem like an incredibly fair person. On one hand I want to ask what you, yourself, believe but on the other i don't want to know because I hope you agree with me.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 23:18     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis

OP,

If you are still reading this, it's the age for questions.

I'm afraid your child may have an anxiety disorder if she becomes so emotional over these things. She must be very bright and inquisitive, however you are right to seek medical help for her, as well as spiritual help. The sooner the better.

Since I'm a scientist, I first answered my kids' questions with good, evidence-based, scientific facts. I then explained major religions too. My children were fascinated by everything I could tell them.



Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 23:12     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again, how about a liberal Christian faith that ordains women? My kids are both female; I want them to see women in leadership roles. Google's not helping much...


United Church of Christ


UCC is one of many liberal Christian Denominations that ordain women. But OP's daughter is not looking for female role models in Christianity -- she is seeking the meaning of life.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 23:11     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are no contemporary accounts of Jesus, just as there are no contemporary accounts of most illiterate, working class Jews (which is what Jesus was as a carpenter's son) in the Roman Empire at that time.

There are accounts of the Roman rulers and Jews in the upper classes. And you'd think there'd be accounts of the miracles Jesus performed, but there are not.

People hoped when the dead see scrolls were discovered in the 20th century that there would be something about Jesus there, because they date from the time of Jesus, but there was nothing.

But if you're a believing Christian, faith is what matters -- not fact. Just have faith and Jesus is real to you, despite the lack of evidence.


The Jewish historian Jospehus wrote about Jesus in the first century AD.


Josephus wrote t the end of the first century -- and he didn't have much to say, when you exclude the part that was added centuries later.

Really, religion is about faith, not facts. why bother trying to make a case for the facts. They are unimportant. Jesus was not a scientist or an historian. He is the Messiah - the son of God.

Religion is full of miracles, which historians ignore completely -- supernatural events are outside the purview of history. History can only study what happens in the natural world -- things for which evidence can be gathered.

People believed in Christianity for centuries before historians tried to validate the stories in the bible. When they couldn't, it didn't affect the faith of true believers.
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 22:46     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:OP again, how about a liberal Christian faith that ordains women? My kids are both female; I want them to see women in leadership roles. Google's not helping much...


United Church of Christ
Anonymous
Post 06/14/2015 22:44     Subject: Religion that will help little girl feell good about herself, make peace with existential crisis
Anonymous wrote:There are no contemporary accounts of Jesus, just as there are no contemporary accounts of most illiterate, working class Jews (which is what Jesus was as a carpenter's son) in the Roman Empire at that time.

There are accounts of the Roman rulers and Jews in the upper classes. And you'd think there'd be accounts of the miracles Jesus performed, but there are not.

People hoped when the dead see scrolls were discovered in the 20th century that there would be something about Jesus there, because they date from the time of Jesus, but there was nothing.

But if you're a believing Christian, faith is what matters -- not fact. Just have faith and Jesus is real to you, despite the lack of evidence.


The Jewish historian Jospehus wrote about Jesus in the first century AD.