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Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

Well, he's wasted his time and money on a bunch of nonsense private schools. He probably has wealthy parents and doesn't know the meaning of working hard and getting ahead. That's what happens when life is handed to you.

what a turn off.

To clarify then, you are defining success completely in monetary terms. And he graduated with honors, yet doesn't know the meaning of hard work?

Honestly, you sound petty and jealous.

We are talking about monetary success and not bloviating on the transcendental.

Jealous? Of what exactly? The 70K salary? Or the distinguished degrees from Bucknell and Tulane?

Jealous of the fact that it's possible to have wealthy parents, work hard, and land in a job that's comfortable and family-friendly. Then again, if you have a wife like OP, there's probably not much to hurry home to.

Guess what else is possiblr? work hard and land a job that pays 3xs what the OP makes and is family friendly. I'm not jealous of the OP'S DH. I'd be depressed if I had two expensive degrees and still hadn't managed to man up and bring home a good DC paycheck.

serious question: what family friendly job earns $210k with just a little hard work?

Being a trust fund baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

You know what I see missing in the bolded list? The fact that you loved and liked him. Sure, you have to make sure to marry someone of an acceptable level of compatibility with you (whatever that may mean in each case), but marriage is not a business transaction. You are not picking out a car - you are picking someone to spend your life with. If you do not have that love and friendship but merely a list of acceptable traits to checkmark, you are not ever going to be happy. Because what you are doing is not marrying a person, but negotiating a merger for certain tangible assets and any time your merger partner deviates from your list of what you think is cool or status-worthy (and he will, because he is human), you will feel cheated because you have no feelings for him to make that deviation not matter.

Also, your DH is not freeloading from you - sitting home and eating Doritos while you earn the family money. He is clearly earning enough to live on, even if it's not in the style you want to live in. He does not owe you a particular lifestyle. Nobody does except for you yourself. If you want to be rich, go and earn it. If you can't or won't, that's on you, not on him.

I am not even going to get into the whole 'you knew what you were getting, he did not get a personality transplant after marriage' thing.

I'm always amazed at how people exaggerate about their income on a public forum. Who knows what to really believe?

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

Well, he's wasted his time and money on a bunch of nonsense private schools. He probably has wealthy parents and doesn't know the meaning of working hard and getting ahead. That's what happens when life is handed to you.

what a turn off.

To clarify then, you are defining success completely in monetary terms. And he graduated with honors, yet doesn't know the meaning of hard work?

Honestly, you sound petty and jealous.

We are talking about monetary success and not bloviating on the transcendental.

Jealous? Of what exactly? The 70K salary? Or the distinguished degrees from Bucknell and Tulane?

Jealous of the fact that it's possible to have wealthy parents, work hard, and land in a job that's comfortable and family-friendly. Then again, if you have a wife like OP, there's probably not much to hurry home to.

Guess what else is possiblr? work hard and land a job that pays 3xs what the OP makes and is family friendly. I'm not jealous of the OP'S DH. I'd be depressed if I had two expensive degrees and still hadn't managed to man up and bring home a good DC paycheck.

serious question: what family friendly job earns $210k with just a little hard work?

Since when did family friendly =easy?

I make 220k/yr and rarely work over 40 hrs a week. I'm in sales.

My DH has a similar income and he's a sales engineer. the entire family finished dinner together by 630 tonight. That's normal.

There's a whole wide world outside of law and DC based non profits.

i'm aware of sales, but i think it takes a lot of work and time to break into it, right? and you have to have that sales charisma?

PP said that OPs DH just needed a little hard work to triple paycheck, but jumping into sales takes time right?

hmmm, he sounds like a catch to me.

maybe you could move the family to another city with a lower cost of living.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

Well, he's wasted his time and money on a bunch of nonsense private schools. He probably has wealthy parents and doesn't know the meaning of working hard and getting ahead. That's what happens when life is handed to you.

what a turn off.

To clarify then, you are defining success completely in monetary terms. And he graduated with honors, yet doesn't know the meaning of hard work?

Honestly, you sound petty and jealous.

We are talking about monetary success and not bloviating on the transcendental.

Jealous? Of what exactly? The 70K salary? Or the distinguished degrees from Bucknell and Tulane?

Jealous of the fact that it's possible to have wealthy parents, work hard, and land in a job that's comfortable and family-friendly. Then again, if you have a wife like OP, there's probably not much to hurry home to.

Guess what else is possiblr? work hard and land a job that pays 3xs what the OP makes and is family friendly. I'm not jealous of the OP'S DH. I'd be depressed if I had two expensive degrees and still hadn't managed to man up and bring home a good DC paycheck.

serious question: what family friendly job earns $210k with just a little hard work?

Since when did family friendly =easy?

I make 220k/yr and rarely work over 40 hrs a week. I'm in sales.

My DH has a similar income and he's a sales engineer. the entire family finished dinner together by 630 tonight. That's normal.

There's a whole wide world outside of law and DC based non profits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

Well, he's wasted his time and money on a bunch of nonsense private schools. He probably has wealthy parents and doesn't know the meaning of working hard and getting ahead. That's what happens when life is handed to you.

what a turn off.

To clarify then, you are defining success completely in monetary terms. And he graduated with honors, yet doesn't know the meaning of hard work?

Honestly, you sound petty and jealous.

We are talking about monetary success and not bloviating on the transcendental.

Jealous? Of what exactly? The 70K salary? Or the distinguished degrees from Bucknell and Tulane?

Jealous of the fact that it's possible to have wealthy parents, work hard, and land in a job that's comfortable and family-friendly. Then again, if you have a wife like OP, there's probably not much to hurry home to.

Guess what else is possiblr? work hard and land a job that pays 3xs what the OP makes and is family friendly. I'm not jealous of the OP'S DH. I'd be depressed if I had two expensive degrees and still hadn't managed to man up and bring home a good DC paycheck.

serious question: what family friendly job earns $210k with just a little hard work?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

It's unreal that you don't seem to realize that luck played a huge role in your husband panning out to be who you thought he'd be. If you want to think your 20 year old self was just that astute (and psychic) fine, but no one believes you.

Some of us find drive and ambition attractive. Even at 20, I dated confident men who knew what they wanted.

Yes. They wanted to sleep with a 20 year old. There's a yin to every yang and "confident" men may not be all they're cracked up to be, either.

Yup. When we were 20 we had a lot of sex. At 40 we still have a lot of sex.

People who talk about how much sex they have always have great relationships.

Or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find OP's post funny since 70K is coincidentally the threshold above which additional money does not seem to correlate with happiness. It seems like her husband is actually working quite smart.

Please. you have to be a real fool to have collected 2 degrees with honors and still manage to only make as much as an executive secretary.

That's what I mean. He's graduated from really well respected private schools. He was groomed to do so much more.

But based on your own description of him, he's never been the grab life by the balls type, and this was evident in his courtship of you. So why are you surprised now? What did you think would happen?

Well I was young and naive. He talked the talk. Everything I was looking for:

A.good character
B.desire to get married and loved children
C.good relations with his family
D. Very erudite and well educated.
E. Talked of wanting to take care of his family


Etc.
Those talks I found out, aren't bs led up by action. He said he wanted to get married but waiting a long time to propose, etc.

So he has good intentions, he is just so slow and unmotivated to go get what he wants and muses about.

This is one reason it's wise to get married a little later rather than doing everything you can to 'land' a husband in your mid 20's- you'll have time to see more of how they turn out, if they do what they say they will do, if they realize some of that potential you're banking on.
I realize it's too late for you in this regard OP, but something other women should consider.

Please.

I met my DH in college at age 20. BS greduate from a Public school. He was focused and determinded. we purchased our first home at age 23. Being a provider has always been in his DNA. You absolutely can tell when a man is ambitious and acts on his goals. He has even had 3 total career changes in order to grow and learn more and become more valuable in the workforce.

It's hot. Those guys are hot. They can be spotted a mile away.

Good thing he's ambitious, because you can't spell to save your life. Greduate? Determinded?

I make as much as him, but alas, whrn typing on my phone I'm not so talented.

Next.

Sure you do.

is that all you've got?

Next.

You two need to verbs room! Meow!

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute.....Did OP say she makes $40k...come again now?

Really? You are a piece of work OP. You basically make half of your DH and are complaning? Bahahaha!

That's my favorite part too.