Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 19:49     Subject: Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Ok, it's action time and we're getting nowhere but increasing OP's resentment toward her DH.

OP: Time is of the essence. Get with your DH alone and flip a coin. First, agree to respect the results of the coin toss; no bitterness either way. Then call your friend.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 19:32     Subject: Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Why is Cuba so expensive? I thought it would be dirt cheap to travel there.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 19:32     Subject: Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
So your DH is off work in the summer while you continue to work full-time, you keep the part-time nanny all summer, and your children are elementary school-aged? And he doesn't want you to go on the trip b/c it would be too much work for him?

You both sound kind of selfish, to me. What does he do all summer? I bet the kids are in camp, too.

And if my DH was hiding bills from me, there would be a knock-down drag-out.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 19:25     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
MikeL wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.


It's highly inappropriate for married women to be going to Vegas or Jamaica without husbands.

lol! This is funny!
Are there any other places that are highly inappropriate for married women to go without their husbands?
How about the places that are highly appropriate for them to go without husbands? What are those places?


Driving cars.highly inappropriate.
MikeL
Post 05/18/2015 19:14     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.


It's highly inappropriate for married women to be going to Vegas or Jamaica without husbands.

lol! This is funny!
Are there any other places that are highly inappropriate for married women to go without their husbands?
How about the places that are highly appropriate for them to go without husbands? What are those places?
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 18:27     Subject: Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
It sounds like it's to the point where you will be irreparably irritated with him if you DON'T go and he'll feel the same way if you do. It isn't even about the trip anymore. A healthy marriage doesn't keep score- if your husband won't let you go you'll do the same to him in the future. Marriage is compromise. There is too much resentment in yours for this to work out well whatever choice you make.

In my opinion, if it were a weekend girls trip that didn't cost $3k (regardless of who is paying for it), I'd vote that you go. But not on this trip...
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 17:43     Subject: Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Sometimes when we have to "push" too hard to do something, it really wasn't meant to be. There will be other opportunities, that you don't have to worry about cash flow, and disappointing your family. Maybe you can do something next summer and save up for it? Sorry for the disappointment. It is a great lesson for the kids to see you experience disappointment and handle it with grace.
#notautomatic-
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 15:46     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.


I do girl trips every 12-18 months with a group of friends. Our DH's aren't douchebags and have no problem handling the homefronts while we're away. I work OT and squirrel away money to make it happen, no hit is landed on family finances for this.
I think you're hoping that complete strangers on the internet to validate this trip and give you permission to go. Personally, it sounds like those 8 days would better be spent staying home and working on your marriage.
And I'm dying to know how the second poster picked up that it was Cuba you were wanting to go to?!


Be honest, how many married or attached women cheated on these trips?


I so an annual girls trip. Nobody cheats.

The only confirmed female cheater I know of is SAHM who met a fuck buddy at the gym.

You must not know anything about female social structure. It would be completely unacceptable for a woman to cheat on one of these trips. In general women want to crucify any other woman who cheats. Women do it in secret, and certainly under the radar of their peers.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 15:44     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.


I do girl trips every 12-18 months with a group of friends. Our DH's aren't douchebags and have no problem handling the homefronts while we're away. I work OT and squirrel away money to make it happen, no hit is landed on family finances for this.
I think you're hoping that complete strangers on the internet to validate this trip and give you permission to go. Personally, it sounds like those 8 days would better be spent staying home and working on your marriage.
And I'm dying to know how the second poster picked up that it was Cuba you were wanting to go to?!


Be honest, how many married or attached women cheated on these trips?


I didn't. Neither did any of the women I was with. We were in Miami. We also went to Mardi Gras when we were much younger, in relationships but not married. No one cheated then either.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 15:43     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.


It's highly inappropriate for married women to be going to Vegas or Jamaica without husbands.


Go back to your cave in.Afghanistan.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 15:42     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.


I do girl trips every 12-18 months with a group of friends. Our DH's aren't douchebags and have no problem handling the homefronts while we're away. I work OT and squirrel away money to make it happen, no hit is landed on family finances for this.
I think you're hoping that complete strangers on the internet to validate this trip and give you permission to go. Personally, it sounds like those 8 days would better be spent staying home and working on your marriage.
And I'm dying to know how the second poster picked up that it was Cuba you were wanting to go to?!


Be honest, how many married or attached women cheated on these trips?
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 15:42     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.


It's highly inappropriate for married women to be going to Vegas or Jamaica without husbands.


Lol...seriously? Just got back from a final bachelorette party in Vegas (last in our group of friends to get married). Nothing even remotely inappropriate happened. Thankfully dh tRusts me and loves that I'm able to have a life outside of being a mom/wife.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 15:39     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:OP here again. How is that other moms seem to take girls trips? I know is not quite my situation, but I see other moms all the time heading to Jamaica or Vegas or some other such place and it appears to never be an issue with their spouse? How does one make this work in a marriage?

Financial issues aside, because quite frankly, with my mom giving me the money, it is no longer a financial decision. As for my mom being against it, she is anti-Castro, pro-embargo.


It's highly inappropriate for married women to be going to Vegas or Jamaica without husbands.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 15:36     Subject: Re:Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:


Look, OP, I say this nicely but you clearly don't like your husband right now. And I'm sure if we got his side of things, it would be clear he doesn't like you very much either. The more you post about him,t he more it becomes clear you guys need some sort of therapy to work out your issues.


This, OP. Sweet Jesus, this. This is so not about the trip. This is about a bucket of resentments swishing back and forth in a pot called "marriage falling apart."


Actually, it highlights the key problem with our marriage. But, trust me, staying around for those 8 days is not going to solve what 3 years of marriage counseling didn't. I do love my husband, but he also knows he pushes my buttons when he drags his feet, which he does when he knows the decision is time limited and waiting means he gets his way. Again, this is a one sided problem, in that if he were asking me, I would tell him to go. But, if I don't go because of he says no, I will unlikely ever be inclined to say yes if he were ever to ask something similar. That is a fundamental problem.

I wouldn't let him get his way this time OP. You can work on your issues when you get back, but they werent created by this trip so why should you miss out?
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2015 15:35     Subject: Chance to take trip with BFF, DH against it
Anonymous wrote:You can say Cuba. We know it's Cuba.

When someone asked earlier if it was Cuba she said yes.