Anonymous wrote:I actually feel bad for the truly pretty women. All the so called privileges they get are superficial, and most of the time they attract superficial men who only care about looks. They often end up unhappy and in bad circumstances since they place a lot of stock in their looks (which fade) and sometimes dont invest as much into developing in other areas such as personality or career.

My average looks made me develop a strong personality and be self reliant, and while I suffered because of it as a teen I realize I am a better person because of it now.

Nice sweeping generalization. Plenty of gorgeous, smart, talented women out there. They are not mutually exclusive, though maybe it makes you feel better to assume so?

Anonymous wrote:This is as bad as the pretty thread
For goodness sake don't call yourself ugly!

How about "not physically attractive?"

It's weird how much importance people place on beauty in women. If someone said "I'm not a good cook" you wouldn't be throwing such a fit.

I'm not pretty. I'm 46, 60 pounds over weight. I have lots of worry lines and laugh lines. I have a thin mouth, a snub nose, and my eyes are to small. My face is too round. My hair is a disaster -- thin and curly. I have the wings on the top of my arms. I have a belly from having kids. I'm apple shaped. I wear glasses because I can't wear contacts anymore.

I am ugly. I am also smart, kind, and funny. I work hard. My kids adore me. My husband loves me.

Pretty isn't everything.

I am convinced that on a scale of 1-10, the vast majority of people will fall into 3-8 (average), and where you are on that scale depends on what you are wearing, how you are feeling, and your grooming. Very few people beautiful (consistently above 8) and very few people truly ugly (consistently below 3). Just about all of us are average.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is "truly ugly"?

Someone mentioned freckles?

Mmhm,. I was cursed with freckles all over. I have always felt that it made me ugly. I still had boyfriends but I think they saw them the freckles) as something to overlook. I wear makeup now which helps.

I'm not very attractive, but not ugly, and I think my freckles are cute! I was a late bloomer in the dating area but found someone perfect for me. He happens to be gorgeous (people asked if he was a model when he was younger). I know people are surprised to see us together but we 'get' each other and he thinks I am cute, even when I gained weight.

I actually feel bad for the truly pretty women. All the so called privileges they get are superficial, and most of the time they attract superficial men who only care about looks. They often end up unhappy and in bad circumstances since they place a lot of stock in their looks (which fade) and sometimes dont invest as much into developing in other areas such as personality or career.

My average looks made me develop a strong personality and be self reliant, and while I suffered because of it as a teen I realize I am a better person because of it now.

Anonymous wrote:Aging is the great equalizer - we all become a bit "invisible" as we age in this youth-obsessed culture, no matter how beautiful we are or were.

I wonder if it's easier for someone who has never been beautiful to age because they never felt their identity and value was intertwined with their looks; to go from turning heads to gradually noticing that not even the construction workers whistle anymore when you walk by -- that's a game-changer.

From one of my favorite books, about a 50ish woman:

But just as she was resigning herself to total defeat, the odds began to alter in Vinnie's favor. Within the last couple of years she has in a sense caught up with, even passed, some of her better-equipped contemporaries. The comparison of her appearance to that of other women of her age is no longer a constant source of mortification. She is no better looking than she ever was, but they have lost more ground."

Alison Lurie
Foreign Affairs

This is as bad as the pretty thread
For goodness sake don't call yourself ugly!

Anonymous wrote:Oh please, stop making this into a Pollyana "everyone can be pretty" thread. While it's true that confidence matters, some people are ugly, or disabled, or old, or very obese. I probably have some pretty privilege but I recently suffered a disfiguring facial condition that really made me change my point of view. There are some people who get stared at, and not for a good reason. That is a completely different universe that you may not be able to understand.

Yes, but how many of complainers here are disfigured? I bet most are just blah.

Anonymous wrote:What is "truly ugly"?

Someone mentioned freckles?

Nonsense! I'd love freckles and red curly hair!

The girl without a face is unattractive. Short of this, you ladies just need a little work. Or not care about appearances this much. Your choice.

Watch Muriel's Wedding- you'll feel better if you don't think you are pretty.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is depressing as hell. I guarantee you most of the "pretty" women aren't that attractive, they're just confident. I think most of the posters on this thread are way too hard on themselves.

I agree - so much is distorted self-perception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you feel makes you ugly, pp?

Cut the crap. This isn't rocket science; we all know what is ugly and what is pretty. This thread doesn't have to turn into some condescending counseling session so the pretties can pretend to feel good about themselves.

No, we don't all know. Ugly and pretty is so relative. I bet the overwhelming majority of people can be attractive. I know I could be, I just see no point anymore. Too much work for too little reward, IMO.

Aging is the great equalizer - we all become a bit "invisible" as we age in this youth-obsessed culture, no matter how beautiful we are or were.

I wonder if it's easier for someone who has never been beautiful to age because they never felt their identity and value was intertwined with their looks; to go from turning heads to gradually noticing that not even the construction workers whistle anymore when you walk by -- that's a game-changer.

Below average looking women are the norm in this area.

I was an ugly kid/teenager. It wasn't until I was 20 that I started "growing" in to my looks. I was never bullied for being ugly, but I was definitely ignored, didn't have boyfriends, no dates....you get the picture. I did have friends, so that helped a lot.