Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you not know early on? After seeing his home or family home, after hearing about travels or seeing a car, or going to fancy restaurants... even if he doesn't live in an over the top way, you certainly know he's not living with roommates on the wrong side of town and shows some signs of being comfortable.

You're assuming wealthy people always live lavishly, quite the opposite if you're smart. Its a misconception that the rich always have fancy cars, eat at fancy restaurants, ect. It's more prevalent mentality here in DC.

IMO this is very true. It wasn't until I visited my boyfriend's family in their home country (my husband is an immigrant) that I realized he might have some serious old money from the old country. He's had the same friends since he was in grade school, all of them are worth more than I can imagine. I think my DH was very hesitant to ever expose his wealth early in our relationship because I imagine it is hard to trust people's intensions when you are wealthy.

I have a good friend who is worth over $20 billion, but you would never, ever know based on what car they drive, or their house, or their clothes. They aren't wearing Old Navy, but they aren't flashing labels either, they aren't showy at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I first realized that my SO was wealthy when I interviewed him for my college newspaper as a favor to a friend who was too sick to conduct the interview herself. It didn't really sink in until he bought me a laptop and a bunch of other expensive technology, as well as the publishing company I'd recently begun working for.

Our relationship is pretty dysfunctional, though.

Well-played! Lol!

I don't get it. Is this a plot to something?

There was this trilogy of POORLY written Mommy Porn books you may have heard of. 50 shades of Gray? Trust me, what the PP wrote tops the entire triology!!

Anonymous wrote:DH sat me down and explained the importance of the Bush tax cuts to our family's situation. He convinced me to become a Republican that night!

Yep, he certainly comes from money then. How nice his pretty little brainless wife drank the kool aid

Anonymous wrote:How do you not know early on? After seeing his home or family home, after hearing about travels or seeing a car, or going to fancy restaurants... even if he doesn't live in an over the top way, you certainly know he's not living with roommates on the wrong side of town and shows some signs of being comfortable.

You're assuming wealthy people always live lavishly, quite the opposite if you're smart. Its a misconception that the rich always have fancy cars, eat at fancy restaurants, ect. It's more prevalent mentality here in DC.

Hmm. DH and I have been together for 20 years and I can't really remember when it dawned on me that there were multiple houses and multiple businesses that represented significant wealth. I come from a comfortably upper-middle class background so when DH first mentioned his family Thanksgivings yearly in west coast resort community #1 or FIL would come into town for different business meetings, it didn't seem different from what I new. It took a while, ILs kept accumulating houses in other locations, and sold a few businesses, after which it seemed that there was a largish sum. DH has always been bent out of shape that his parents subsidized his brothers and sisters lifestyles, but that has to do with how little he values their chosen professions and doesn't respect their need for support rather than the amounts that were given. I didn't realize it was in the mid-8 figures until both ILs had passed and DH became the trustee of the estates.

How do you not know early on? After seeing his home or family home, after hearing about travels or seeing a car, or going to fancy restaurants... even if he doesn't live in an over the top way, you certainly know he's not living with roommates on the wrong side of town and shows some signs of being comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:When he took me to Chipotle and didn't bat at eye as I ordered the extra guac.

On an early date I took my now-wife to a relatively nice restaurant but used a two-for-one coupon. Years later I read something about a woman complaining about a date using a coupon.

It hadn't occurred to me that using a coupon could be offensive, so I asked my wife if she had been bothered by it. She 1) didn't remember, and 2) couldn't understand how anyone could possibly be offended - after all, it didn't affect the food, and the woman paid nothing regardless of whether a coupon was used. Yet another reason we belong together.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I first realized that my SO was wealthy when I interviewed him for my college newspaper as a favor to a friend who was too sick to conduct the interview herself. It didn't really sink in until he bought me a laptop and a bunch of other expensive technology, as well as the publishing company I'd recently begun working for.

Our relationship is pretty dysfunctional, though.

Well-played! Lol!

I don't get it. Is this a plot to something?

Anonymous wrote:
I didn't realize until quite a few years after our marriage, when he walked me through his investment strategy.
Thought I'd married a guy poor as a church mouse, and that I had been the one to bring money into our marriage. Oh well.

Why did you think he was poor, pp? Did he make you split the check, drive an old car?

Anonymous wrote:At my DH's father's funeral, we stayed in his step monster's house and I saw the bank statements just lying out on the table. Cheapskate was worth millions!

Being a "cheapskate", making a good income, and investing wisely used to be how someone accumulated millions.

Anonymous wrote:Right after we married, I had the sudden realization that my wife was half as wealthy as I was right before I got married

-- posting anonymously today

You are a funny guy!

Anonymous wrote:When he took me on a date, keeping the location secret. He met me at my modest house, and brought me a formal little black dress in a pink box with a bow on it. He asked if I would put it on, he had somewhere special to take me. After driving twenty minutes or so, he pulled over and asked me to wear his tie around my eyes and no peeking!! He stopped shortly after and lead me to a place that seemed dark and first then bright. Then, I heard waves crashing.

He pulled off the tie and I was aboard his yacht that was docked awaiting me. He asked me if I was hungry and lead me to the bright lights of his cabin he had decorated and had dinner awaiting us with wine chilled by the table. He asked me to marry him. 15 years later with two kids I am one lucky woman!

I think it's romantic and a lovely story to tell your children and grandchildren, pp. I also dated my DH for several years due to educational and career issues. He knew I would probably say yes but it didn't stop him from making the evening romantic and memorable. I wish you both many more years of happiness.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty good at picking up on subtle wealth/status/class markers, so I'm rarely surprised when someone turns out to be wealthy or turns out to have grown up dirt-poor. I feel like you can tell a lot from speech patterns, where someone grew up or went to college, how they dress, the state of their teeth (bad teeth often mean someone grew up poor or in a country with limited availability to dentists), their attitudes about money, how they decorate their houses, etc. I can usually tell whether it's newer or older money, inherited wealth or earned.

I figured out pretty quickly that my ex came from some money - his clothes, his teeth, his hobbies/sports, where he went to college, how his apartment looked, etc. We have similar attitudes about money.

You sound like someone I would not want to be friends with. Do you ever wonder if you fall under such judgment? Maybe that's why he's an ex.

I'm pretty good at picking up on subtle wealth/status/class markers, so I'm rarely surprised when someone turns out to be wealthy or turns out to have grown up dirt-poor. I feel like you can tell a lot from speech patterns, where someone grew up or went to college, how they dress, the state of their teeth (bad teeth often mean someone grew up poor or in a country with limited availability to dentists), their attitudes about money, how they decorate their houses, etc. I can usually tell whether it's newer or older money, inherited wealth or earned.

I figured out pretty quickly that my ex came from some money - his clothes, his teeth, his hobbies/sports, where he went to college, how his apartment looked, etc. We have similar attitudes about money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When he took me on a date, keeping the location secret. He met me at my modest house, and brought me a formal little black dress in a pink box with a bow on it. He asked if I would put it on, he had somewhere special to take me. After driving twenty minutes or so, he pulled over and asked me to wear his tie around my eyes and no peeking!! He stopped shortly after and lead me to a place that seemed dark and first then bright. Then, I heard waves crashing.

He pulled off the tie and I was aboard his yacht that was docked awaiting me. He asked me if I was hungry and lead me to the bright lights of his cabin he had decorated and had dinner awaiting us with wine chilled by the table. He asked me to marry him. 15 years later with two kids I am one lucky woman!

barf he bought you like a hooker

that sounds incredibly romantic actually. You're jealous and a hater.

Meh. Romantic if you're 16. Sounds cheesy and unoriginal to me.